Western Men, Indonesian Women.

Thang D. Nguyen has written an interesting post and subsequent discussion in regards to Western men and Indonesian women. I’ll leave my own thoughts out of this one, but would be interested in hearing how Indonesian women feel after reading this.
Here’s an excerpt from his post:

As my friend and I sipped our coffees last Sunday afternoon at Plaza Indonesia, he asked, “Don’t you think that many of the Indonesian women that white foreigners (buleh) go out with or marry are so unattractive?”

“They look like maids, don’t they” he continued.

“Not necessarily so,” I replied.

Beauty, like many things in life, is bound by the rule of relativity. In other words, what one man considers beautiful is ugly in the eyes of another.

Being an Indonesian himself, my friend’s view of a beautiful woman is that of a fair-skinned one, who has the look of a financially independent, educated, and classy lady.

Thus, in his eyes, an Indonesian woman with a dark complexion, buck teeth, and a high forehead typically found among remote mountain villagers in Java, is not beautiful.

  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
    ~ Ansel Adam? ~

    “The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the heart.”
    ~ Rumi ~

  • John

    Just goes to show how westerners aren’t at all superficial 😉

  • Baby

    all woman is pretty…
    the statement is not exaclty right….(I think) coz.. many Indonesian Actress married with “white bule” 😉

  • beauty is in the eye of the beerholder 😉

    Anyway, some Indonesian guys i know prefer fair-skinned gal, dont know if it has anything to do with class etc.

  • that depends on what kind of westerners. be honest javajive, you wont pick up ur housemaid anyway… if so, you will dress her up for improvement…

    But, i’m sure that u’ll be happy when hang out with Anggun, and prefer to reject any sexual contact with the sister of Mandra, Omas… LoL

  • Brandon

    Ok, you guys do realize – I DIDN’T WRITE THIS POST right? I was simply linking to an excerpt from his writing. I definitely don’t fall into that line of thought – I just wanted to see how it was taken by Indonesians themselves, rather than a long term expat’s point of view.

  • Seriously, if bules wanna marry their maids, I think it’s great! (hopefully) it will improve the maids’ social economic status and probably improve the chance of better education of their children. Well, that’s if the bule doesn’t run off to his home country after the expatriation period ended, leaving the wife & kids stranded here.

    Anyway, agree about beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t really associate beauty with the color of the skin though, the issue lies on bone structures.

    And yes, depends on the bules, too. If they’re some kind of expats making some ridiculously huge salary, most of them ended up with Indonesian celebrities or models or actresses or socialites or whatever they are.

  • Soi Oz

    Somehow I don’t think any of these ‘Bules’ are marrying their maids 🙂 This is a topic I’ve seen in all of the Asian counries I’ve worked in (Vietnam, Thailand and now Indonesia). For a lot of expats it’s actually difficult in all of these countries to form realtionships with women from the middle and upper classes. I’m not entirely sure that there’s any specific physical preference manifesting itself. Most expats would happily form a relationship with a light skinned girl from a middle class family if they met them with the same regularity as they meet girls from poorer backgrounds (who often happen to have dark skin).

  • Yu Phuc

    Hi guys!

    I don’t know if you have read the comments on this article on Thang’s blog, but here are two:

    baby said…
    Mr.Thang, each woman even maid they have they own pretty and dont said that maid is meaning ugly. Please think twice before you put this article.
    Don’t forget God create all the human, dont jugde “maid; dark skin; buck teeth; etc.” is meaning bad; maybe they are more good, better than you to apreciate another human being. (Who knows !!!!)
    So no mistake with “white bule” and “dark Indonesian”… because it is good combination..for human.

    Indi said…
    i need to add:

    “beauty is in the eyes of beerholder”

    PS: talking about Indonesian peasants: you should check out their toes. due to centuries of working in ricefield barefooted, they have developed interesting looking toes: they are spread wider than yours and able to grip better in the deep mud than yours can! if you don’t believe me, try to walk barefooted on the banks of ricefields and I guarantee you will slip and fall. Them locals have physiologically adapted themselves into the situation by having customized toes.

    check ’em out!

    And Thang responded:

    Baby –

    English is obviously a problem for you. If you have time and want to write or speak better English, I’d suggest that you take an English as a second language (ESL) course. I’m not sure what the market rate these days, but a friend of mine is an English teacher, and she has told me that some students of her are maids who work for bule bosses. Like them, I’m sure you can afford it.

    In any case, with regard to your comment, I think you have missed the thesis (main point) of my article. I did not say that having buck teeth, a dark complexion, or a high forehead is a bad thing.

    Rather, I said that, contrary to what most Asian men think, Western men find these features to be “exotic” and beautiful, and it is totally OK.

    I am the one who is being fair here by showing the diverse (different) views of beauty. In fact, de facto, I was defending western men’s right to liking dark-skinned Indonesian women with hard-on-the-eyes features.

    Here is the direct link to these comments:


    Enjoy aja!

  • I’m 100% Indonesian, without mix and match… so you can count on my reaction too… this issue nothing new at all. ppl talk about it everywhere in indonesia, since….. hmmmmm dunno…

    santai ajalah…

  • Emi

    I was talking about this to a friend of mine just recently… asking her why she thinks bule guys prefer the “pembantu” type, and instead of answering the question, she said if the pair had a child, the child would be genetically good-looking. Think of Tamara Blezynski(sp?) and Nadya Hutagalung, who are both physically beautiful.

    Reaction such as this is nothing new. Oh, and it could be envy, since, as well all know, many local women here still think highly of western men and prefer them to local men, and the insult just proves their inability to get bule guys for themselves. 🙂 Racist? Nahhh… it’s just a pride issue. Besides, it’s very Indonesian to be proud. (Oops.)

  • Regardless of the “controversy”, I know many many people (both Indonesian men and women and myself) who have concurred to Thang’s statement, yet I have never been able to explain why.

  • My opinion as Indonesian woman would be..

    Nobody’s perfect that ppl always seek for better look over and over again. Dark skin is usually related to healthy skin, whereas fair skin is not. Yes according to science research, dark skin has lots of melanin to neutralize UV from the sunlight. No wonder fair-skin ladies are eager to get tanned. LOL. Maybe western guys love the healthy one. It’s okay. I’m cool with that.

    As for me, I have yellow skin. *phew* not so bad, isn’t it? 😉 And I love white guys LOL!

  • Hm… this is a toughie. Having lived in the US only for 6 years and know a number of Indo-USA couples around the States, I can’t really generalized if bules [mostly] are marrying maid-like Indonesia ladies. I did observe that the higher of one bule’s social status, his wife looks less like a maid. Why do bules like the Indonesian dark skined, high forehead, and pointy nose females? Hey, I guess ‘exoticism’ is in the eye of the beholder 😉

  • L2

    Well, rumor said that I am part Indonesian. And maybe I look like a maid too. But if my man treat me like a princess and not a maid. I would be careless what people said.

  • Very interesting post. I think Mr thang is a honest person, people just interpreted his words as offensive or something. I can tell you all I have listened to those comments “why westerners like ugly asian women?” SO MANY TIMES, probably millions of asians think so. It’s nothing to do with racism, it’s just the definition of beauty in different region. I know a lot of westerners like ‘exotic’ look of asian women, the more original look (or you can say kampung) the better they love, otherwise they can find those in their own countries anyway.
    It’s that way. Asian women are more caring and shy and feminine and maybe more family oriented, westerners love them, western guys are more generous looking, more musculine, more gentlemen, less chauvenist (spelling?) and more hair! So so so, there are generally a lot of asian women westerner men couples, you all dont see many asian men with western women, right? And if you are in asia for sometime, you can actually see some women (called Sarung Party girl in Spore) who purposely dressed sexy just to attract western men, they hate being with local guys and will DO WHATEVER to get a western boyfriend, and for western guys who could be nobody in their own countries now getting so much attention, its like a BIG treat. For this case, I am not sure if the package they buy from each other is real or not.
    Ok, I think I got carried away and a bit off topic. Oh, there is one more thing asian women may look for in western guy, which I don’t want to mention because I am an asian 😛
    All I can say is, the world works in a magical way 🙂
    I really want to hear Brandon’s opinions on this.

  • Andy

    The two men that are talking about what women are attractive both need to go otu with a sexy maid and stop being fuckheads.They are both disriminating against these lower class Indonesian girls.They both probably fuck prostitutes anyway.What fuckheads just the way they talk you can tell they are dickheads

  • citu

    I have been thinking about this topic since i was in Indonesia. Before i thought Bule just exoticise the idea of beauty. But delving into a deeper level, the concept of beauty is rather constructive and it may be fair to argue that this construction had something to do with an exhaustive process of colonisation, during which differentiating skin colour was an attempt to maintain this construction.

    This construction, however, could give a sense of inferiority to Indonesians. They seemed to feel that bule are better than them. Some cartoon depicted ‘native’ in very demeaning way was commonly found when colonialism reached its peak. I think this representation then impacted on Indonesian seeing themselves as a subject. And from this, the concept of beauty was then a kind of projection of being equal to Bule.

    Interestingly, bule were also amused to this ‘native’ and their cultures and landscape. They called them exotic, beautiful, unique, virgin and the like, particularly those who were sympathetic to native.

    All and all, why do bule like Indonesian maid-look women and Indonesians prefer fair skin, blonde, and blue eyes is because the concept of beauty was rather a product of discourse during colonial period.


  • Quang

    Indonesian women are ugly. I think that it might be the only nation on the planet that hasnt been gifted with it’s share of beautiful women. It’s a rare thing to see a pretty indonesian woman. So sad.

  • Ross

    Quang, you cant say that as you have obviously met my girlfriend Amanda. She is Indonesian and amazingly beautiful, and it is not only me that thinks this, many people have commented on this. (is not a maid or mail order! she was adopted and has lived in the UK since she was a small child) I think that you are very shallow minded to generalise like this.

  • Ross

    Quang, you cant say that as you have obviously NOT met my girlfriend Amanda. She is Indonesian and amazingly beautiful, and it is not only me that thinks this, many people have commented on this. (is not a maid or mail order! she was adopted and has lived in the UK since she was a small child) I think that you are very shallow minded to generalise like this.

  • Quang,
    haha you obviously have a very different point of view on beautiful women, but just an FYI, here are few of Indonesian women pics, real Indo women pictures that you can see yourself and I think they all are very beautiful.


  • Quang, If you truly hold that very bleak attitude so dear then i would pose one simple question to you. Why are you posting on this forum in the first place? Should you not be galavanting around the clubs of some metro area in the states instead? It seems you would be more likely to find what you are looking for their. some close minded, shallow, blonde airhead.

  • Frida

    Western Men, Indonesian Women..

    A friend of yours think so???
    Depends on his perspective..
    And also depends on d actor and d actress perspective..

    Would be unattractive if they go out or marry for a fake reason…fancy…material or so…:)
    But would be a precious moment if it is pure for love and desire to share the togetherness forever and ever…

    It is too general, isnt it??
    But what else?? That is it…
    We can not refuse to say no…
    but when love speaks…no matter love of $$ or love of love???..it could happen anywhere…anytime…not only in Indo…but also in Thai…Malay…Vietnam….mostly Philippine….!!!!

    Watch outttttttttttt….
    When love speaks…possibility would build its kingdom…:)


  • Frida

    Western Men, Indonesian Women..

    A friend of yours think so???
    Depends on his perspective..
    And also depends on d actor and d actress perspective..

    Would be unattractive if they go out or marry for a fake reason…fancy…material or so…:)
    But would be a precious moment if it is pure for love and desire to share the togetherness forever and ever…

    It is too general, isnt it??
    But what else?? That is it…
    We can not refuse to say no…
    but when love speaks…no matter love of $$ or love of love???..it could happen anywhere…anytime…not only in Indo…but also in Thai…Malay…Vietnam….mostly Philippine….!!!!

    Watch outttttttttttt….
    When love speaks…possibility would build its kingdom…:)

    A-mild…enjoy aja lagiii..hehehe…

  • Pris

    Hello Brandon,

    I could sit here forever and read your blogs. Great job!

    You can totally write a novel!

    I’d like to include my 2 cents on the comments Nguyen’s friend made.

    The statement rings all to similar to conversations I hear my husband (an Indonesian) and his friends have. Remarks such as, “Oh you like her? She looks like my servant” Thus leaving his poor friend discouraged at the opportunity of a date. So I asked him, “So looking like a servant is supposed to be an insult”? What is the definition of looking like a servant? Is it because someone is dark? In my opinion, the girl was actually pretty.
    He replied with, “well that’s just the way it is, unfortunately people who are servants look like her”. Whoa, that was mean!

    It remained a conundrum for all about 5 minutes and realized that it isn’t just Indonesians that have this shallow mentality. This method of thinking is all too common all over the world actually. Even in the United States. For example, the black people who are considered to be better looking, are always the lighter skinned folks like Beyonce, Tyra, and Halle Berry. In high school, the popular black girls and guys were also the lighter skinned ones too; with the exception of the athletes…

    It’s the same in Africa too, all over South America and of course Asia. The light- skinned ones are thought to be prettier and richer. Mexico also has this philosophy and it’s similar to Indonesia’s but somewhat reversed. In Mexico there are many women who like to tan, but they still like to keep a western appearance by not looking too ethnic. In Indonesia, those that have a large disposable income tend to bleach their skin, even nipples, so that they can have a “pearly white” appearance. Their beauty standards are to have “western,” features without actually being white..

    In telenovelas (Mexican soaps) the rich are always the “whiter” looking ones and the poor ones are always the dark indigenous people. Oh and god forbid you look “too white” to play a “poor village person” role. (Sound familiar?)
    I also noticed when watching Indonesian movies, the actors/actresses portraying the upper class elite were also “fair skinned”.
    I don’t think you guys get America’s Next top model over there in Indo, but last season they had a dark Indian girl named Anchal and she explained the pressures of being too dark and being called ugly while growing up. I thought she was the prettiest one their, yet she was so insecure she couldn’t see it.

    Now, in my opinion beauty comes in all shapes and forms. Take Anchal for instance, dark and beautiful… I guess what I’m trying to say here is..
    What defines beauty? Let me thesaurus the heck out of my MS Word for a second..

    BEAUTY: lovliness, attractiveness, good looks, prettiness, exquisite, gorgeous, splendor.


    P.S I’m as white as they come; but I do love tanning…

  • Pris

    Here’s a link to America’s Next Top Model Website in case you guys were curious..


  • Sissy

    I found a marriage site between western men and asian women, and some of them are Indonesian. None of them look like a ‘maid’ (read: ugly) if u curious about it they put their website as well so visit their personal site. Interesting. http://members.fortunecity.com/canzian/id.html

  • hi Brandon …. I found your site on net ….. I love your picture n I love your story.
    I was born n raisen in Bandung , but since a couple years I’m living in Holland.
    Beauty in asian eyes n bule eyes is not the same , white = beauty for asian people , stupid attitude , but you can’t deny it if you are born n raisen in asia.
    Not only the color of your skin is important but your job is important too , not everyone will marry your own maid there but here …. is not really important it’s just a job.
    You can find huge indonesian peoples here , I guess Indonesian peoples here judging their own peoples more then the bule , they are still having the same attitude just like in Indonesia, some ras found themself higher then the other ras.
    For exam : Indonesian Chinese preffer to have Chinese or bule for their partner.
    Their attitude is really anoying …… deuh ….. we are not living in asia anymore.
    Some Indonesian peoples here are whorse …. they are really proud if their partner is an bule ….. come on …. not all bule that’s cute …. çouse if you living here for so long like I do you can see which one is cute bule and which one is geek bule …. :p

    But like I said if you are born n raisen in asia you can deny it , My dad is chinese n my mom is dutch , Since I was in Indonesia I always see all the peoples is the same , no one better then the other no ras is beter then the other , I still have the same attitude , there are cute bule but you can find ugly bule too , there are cute asian with dark skin but there are the ugly one too.
    I don’t choose my friends from their ras , color , job or whatever , but I preffer to have chinese guy for my partner I don’t know why …. maybe beacuse of my dad , I never like bule , I always find their skin are not really romantic with their hard white hair on their skin , in my eyes is just like ‘kulit babi’ …. ups not really openmind but that’s what in my mind …. bule for me is much better in movie then in real life.

    I guess everyone have their own definition about what beauty mean ….. but it’s ok …. couse everyone have right to do that.

    I read some of your blog [I want read more if I have more time] n I see all your picture …. you n your muse is a perfect couple 🙂 both of you are cute :p …. enjoy each other n don’t bother to hear stupid attitude from stupid peoples.

  • Geez, all of you are so worked up on this topic!!! Thang was just voicing his opinion which was an opinion shared by most of us In Indonesia anyway. Come on!!!! I am sure you must have had uttered this opinion once or twice, privately or to a group of friends.

    As for myself, I am of Indonesian decent, been living in Australia for a fair bit and the proud owner of dark complexion. Let’s put it this way, all my friends here in OZ always marvel at how brown my skin can be after half a day lying on the pool or the beach. An attempt which has to be done very carefully by my Anglo-Saxon friends here if they’d rather be brown, not red. During winter months, when I turn too pale, a bottle of ‘tanning moisturiser lotion’ is my best friend. It is fabulous to have healthy glowing golden brown skin amidst seas of pale complexions. The very same idea is also responsible for the massive selling of tan spray lotions and establishment of solariums in every street corner.

    At the same token, I have experienced how girls in Asian countries I have visited including Indonesia love to don me the ‘look’ due to my complexion which can be rather too dark after weeks under the sun. What can I say? During the holidays, I am a sun worshipper and enjoy water sports. I will never swap witnessing beautiful marine life with my own eyes and lying on the soft sand with a glass of cocktail on my hand with ‘white skin’ which is favoured by most Asian ladies.

    To my Indonesian sisters out there, you are gorgeous despite what a knob like Quang has said. Never limit yourself just because you think you are expected to look certain way by our so-called society. We live in a tropical nation which sprawls over 17,000 islands. We are bound to look different from one another. So do not use your beauty parameter to judge other culture as it will never justify it! Beauty is indeed in the eyes of beholder. Enjoy our tropical sun as we are so lucky to have it 365 days of the year. Just my two cents, fellas!

  • Don’t you guys have anything better to do? Crazy bules!! LOL
    Btw i am a product of an Indonesian American mix marriage and I am good looking. Hahahaha.

  • I accidentally stumbled upon this while I was searching for Java to-dos. Great blogging you have here, excellent photos too. I am an Indonesia born American woman. Although I was born in Indonesia, I have lived in the U.S. for 18 years. I came when I was 5, returned to Indonesia for Junior and High School, and came back to the States for college and here I am, still here and been married twice — both to a Caucasian although I’ve dated a few African-Americans. My husband said I’m beautiful but I think I’m just like everybody else and here’s my thought and personal observation…

    There is a big gap it seems in Indonesia between the rich and the poor, the beautiful and the not so beautiful, the educated and non-educated, the successful and not successful, and the list goes on. There are many in the middle but it seems like people either look one way or the other. Those not in the preferred group would want to move up to that. It’s like high school in a way. “Gengsi” is a big thing.

    The Westerners I believe are more open minded to social boundaries. There are blue and white collar jobs but you see many couples from both types of jobs dating where in Indonesia, there’s a smaller chance of seeing an office employee dating a tukang becak. Although there might be chemistry, Indonesians, more so middle-upper class women, would turn around and remove the feelings. In her mind she’s thinking of what her parent and friends might say, what her future is like, etc.

    My husband is in the AF and we see many older couples, Korean/Vietnamese/Filipino-American couples, shopping on the base. I can say that 90% fits Nguyen’s description of an unattractive woman. My husband would mention how unattractive the woman is on occassions but I always say that maybe she’s just a wonderful person and that’s what makes her beautiful. You can’t change how you look (well, I guess you can now with all those extreme makeovers) but you can change who you are inside and the beauty will show. What’s interesting is that 90% of their children will just be gorgeous and even the 10% are still attractive (this is to MY eyes).

    Why did I choose a “bule” you might wonder? I wanted somebody who has a modern way of thinking. Just coincidently I married the white men. I was afraid that a non-westerner will not let me be who I want to be career wise and as a person. I am very independent and goal oriented and need somebody who can love me for who I am, do everything 50-50, and not feel less of a man and head of the family if I succeed.

  • ray

    Well, I am not sure what to say to these messages. I have returned back home from visiting Java in March-April this year….. As for the whole “looks” thing? I dunno, I am engaged to an Indonesian woman who isn’t bucktoothed, her skin is more yellow than coffee, but only because she makes a point of avoiding the sun. But she is the sweetest , most nurturing woman I have ever met. I tell her not to worry about her skin getting darker in the sun when we go out, but it has been a long battle to convince her that her more normal colour is beautiful. I would watch tv with her and snort when they would portray someone like Nicole Kidman as being gorgeous….. I would tell her that she wouldn’t get a second glance from me…. Now Halle Berry, Or Salma Hayek, or Zhang Ziyi …!!! Eventually, she seemed to understand that the whole bit of stereo-typing what is beautiful just doesn’t work. It all comes to personal tastes, and she is my favourite flavour. I tend to like a little more coffee in my woman’s color than others and maybe even less than some others. Now if I can just figure out how to deal with the Indonesian laws concerning foreigners, christian / muslim marriages, and all the rest of red tape that should really be changed to make it easier for people to be together…..

  • dea

    I’m Indonesian and guilty of saying that phrase more than a couple of times. I know it’s not politically correct to generalize, but I’ve never seen an affluent Indonesian man with an Indonesian woman who looks like the stereotypical ‘ugly native’ I’ve seen some bules with. I think it’s just a matter of taste. To Westerners, these girls might look more exotic because they truly look ‘Indonesian’. To Indonesians, well, they might look just ordinary.

  • Terry

    My work sent me to the Nth west of Java, Indonesia, for 2 months. I found the Indonesian women lovely in both physical beauty and personality. Dark skin, light skin, who cares? In fact, I found the heavy tanned look hot.
    To say the girls from the outer villages are ugly and have buck teeth or high foreheads is ridiculous. Many “western” men find both these features cute, so its true what they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • Steve

    Hi to all just a comment and a warning to any ‘bules’ who are contemplating marrying a nice middle to upper class Indonesian woman, as I was married to an Indonesian middle class gal her father comes from Ache and her mother comes from central Java she was a very beautiful woman when I meet her, dark velvety skin, long black hair, great boob, great body, 5’6’, 52kgs we were 100% compatible so I thought! She was quite, understanding perfect. But then she had our son and now she’s a fat ugly, lazy and you wouldn’t think twice at looking at her, well as you can perceive were not together anymore as she didn’t know or want to do anything you the housework, clean while I was working as she never had done anything for herself and was spoiled rotten all her life, you know with maids etc., but thank god that I realised what she was all about as my life would have ended in misery and despair!!! The moral of this story guys is marry into your own culture you will never go wrong and if you do well you will at least know where and when it’s going to go wrong…bum bum!!!

  • Steve

    An addendum to my post and to that blog that appeared in certain Indonesian bloggersphere. The modern A typical Indonesian woman doesn’t like western men they are generally lazy and see bule men their pass of escape to a modern life and to achieve affluence that they think western culture will give them and also to do way better than their family. But the most important thing is to escape the misery, heat and pollution that is Indonesia! So they think! They don’t realise that when they come to the west they have to work 1000% harder then what they ever did in Indonesia!

  • John

    Indonesia…Muslim Judge Blames Women’s Wickedness For Tsunami! Today’s Times reports on a disturbing phenomenon in the aftermath of the disaster – the blaming of women for causing the event, and forcing strict controls on women’s lives to avoid the risk of another disaster. Marluddin Jalil, who claims “The tsunami was because of the sins of the people of Aceh” Well what can you say about Indonesia then????

  • mike

    Being white i love brown skin, brown skinned people seem to want to have whiter skin. (I seen the products in the stores) I think Indonesian brown skinned women are beautiful. giddiup it doesn’t get any better

  • High rise

    I recently went to Indonesia. It appears to me that Indonesians with money live in the same areas as those who don’t have money. The exception was a wealthy Chinese part of Jakarta. I also noticed that most television actors and actresses were fair skinned, except for those playing villains or clowns. I remembered several years ago when native Indonesians were killing and decapitating Chinese Indonesians for reasons I did not understand at the time. Now I get the picture. The whole thing reminds me of the racial divide in the United States prior to the 1970’s. Being a Jet Black African American, it saddens me to see Indonesians suffer self-hate spawned from the divide and conquer tactics of imperialism. I was only there for a couple of weeks. Please let me know if I got the whole thing wrong.

  • Jane

    I just hope Quang read this one.
    Quang, I think you’re a loser and that’s why no Indonesian girl ever like you and that really hurt your pride. That’s why you said that horrible thing about Indonesian girl. Well, get it over with already!!! Nobody wants an a**hole and you know that. Straighten up your attitude and maybe there’s a girl who would feel sorry for your sorry ass.

  • Rhea

    I am an American lady, who was dating this American man and he suddenly stopped dating me and started seeing a younger girl from Indonesia and married her within 2 months. I never have gotten over this. Any ideas why so fast marriage took off so fast? I was thinking maybe she just wants to live in America.

  • Priscilla

    Dear Rhea, I can give you a million reasons. But, the reasons can vary from one person to the next. The most common theory is that Indonesian women and Asian women in general tend to be more on the submissive side, sweet, caring, and respectful. Some men dig the unknown and the exotic while others just want a mail order wife. I also feel that the American men (not all but most) have been rejected far too many times by American girls; only to be glorified like a god by women in a foreign country. This can apply to other countries in Asia and Latin America as well. As far as the beautiful thing goes, I think there are plenty of gorgeous women here in the United States. However, those gorgeous women are probably the ones who rejected those American guys who fled to Indonesia or Asia to find a wife. Not to be a snob but I’m one of those pretty rejecters. I had an American boyfriend too and totally dumped him so evilly. I saw him 6 months later with a mediocre looking Korean girl. The strong irony in this, is that I too am now married to an Asian (Indonesian).

    Like I said there are a million reasons for your boyfriend’s actions. Maybe his reasons aren’t what I just listed and could be far more complicated than that. You can find those traits in an American girl too, you just have to look! A good example would be me… LOL Maybe I’m the exception to the rule but I come from an American family of strong values. I learned Bahasa, I cook Indonesian food, & according to my hubby I sometimes act more Indonesian than his friends. So I think that I’m not the only one out there like that. There are people like me you just have to find them. My husband also has had a bad experience with Indonesian girls; but that’s not to say they are all the same. His experience and indignation was that all the Indonesian girls he dated were spoiled, rich little daddy’s girls who couldn’t even find their way out of a paper bag. However, I wouldn’t be quick to judge all Indonesian women because those “rich daddies” girls don’t represent Indonesian women and Indonesia as a culture.

    Nonetheless, please don’t feel it’s your fault I’m sure what he failed to appreciate in you, someone else will love. My husband is a good example of that, he appreciates a lot of things in me that other Indonesian men would despise and vice versa; many Asian women traits that are considered attractive to some American men might seem appalling to other American and Indonesian men.
    For example, my American co-worker has the impression that Indonesian women are like slaves to their husbands and don’t have a mind of their own. Which is not true because I’m friends with an Indonesian couple and as far as I can see, the wife wears the pants in the family. Lol

    Okay I’ll stop now, my post is getting too long and I’m only going to piss off the owner of this blog who happens to be a very attractive American guy married to gorgeous Indonesian women. A match made in heaven. lol

  • I don’t care much for what Thang wrote. He isn’t an Indonesian anyway, but tries to come across as one, but he seems to be quite racist, or perhaps even jealous. Maybe he can’t get a date? Who knows.

    The majority in any country is poor, especially in Indonesia. I don’t care much for rich, spoiled “daddy’s girls” who only date bule men because they want to show off how “cool” they are.

    I used to date a doctor at MMC and she was totally rich, but she would brag about her political connections, as if I really care anything about Agum Gumelar or Golkar in general. He’s not important to me.. just another Golkar Orde Baru guy probably as corrupt as the rest of the politicians around the world.

    I found a great Indonesian woman, well educated and respectable, two years ago and made a promise to my Indonesian female friends that I would help them find a Western man. I know and can guarantee that they aren’t gold diggers, but rather, respectable, educated, career women.

    I set up a website to help them, complete with a live chat box and if you are interested or know anyone who is interested, please visit my site:




  • Nez

    I can’t stand old, white, perverted men who go to Indonesia and other parts of Asia to find an Asian girl or girls to be with. The idea of “me luv you long time, mister” somewhat disgusts me.
    Well, I do, however, occassionally say it as a joke.

    I mean, I understand everyone has needs. And especially sexual needs. Therefore, anyone has the right to fulfil such necessity, regardless of whatever race.

    But that friend of yours, Thang f*cking Nguyen should repricocate the idea…

    The Indonesian women don’t look like maids.
    The old, bald, unattractive white men look like disgusting, perverted pimps.


    For your information, Thang, I am financially independent, educated, classy, and fabolous.
    And I am Indonesian.

    Go suck a motherf*cking tiny Asian d*ck, you blind a$$hole.


    (From Brandon: I edited some of the language slightly. 🙂 )

  • Jane

    What about guys who wants to find bule wives? Can they go to your website too? Do you get those kinda request?

  • Jane

    I think we shouldn’t “attack” Thang Nguyen like that. I mean he only brought up something that many of us have been questioning every time we see a bule with a girl described by his friend. I mean everybody can have an opinion and it’s out of ignorance and sometimes the society that they say things like that (women with dark hair, buck teeth, high forehead, etc are ugly). Indonesian guys aren’t ugly, just shallow, like most of the people 😀

  • Nez

    Excuse-moi, Jane.
    I believe every girl has the right to vent every once in a while.
    We have the right to be passionately expressive about our repressed negative opinion about a guy who says a comment we dislike.

    Excuse my French in the previous message. I haven’t cussed in a while. I guess swearing should be like desserts- great for every once in a while.

    And Brandon…thank you for censoring my bad choice of words;)

    p.s. No, Indonesian guys are not ugly. They’re just not my type.

  • Jane

    Dear Nez,
    I wasn’t talking about the language. I was talking about the fact that it was Thang Nguyen’s Indonesian friend -not Thang- who said that expats often like ugly women. That’s why I said Indo guys are shallow, at least, most of them.

    P.S: I have nothing against self expression (like swearing). It’s fun to do every once in a while :p

  • I am Portuguese and I married an East Timorese-Chinese. I was talking with a young Indonesian woman once in Yogya and I happened to tell her that I had an East Timorese girlfriend. You should see the look in her face, she was really shocked and exclaimed “But she’s black then!”

    It’s not only the men, it’s the women too, and the publicity and the show business… Something similar used to happen in Europe before the age of suntan chick. Being dark skinned meant you worked in the fields so a proper “high class” lady should be pale. There was even an ideal of beauty that said a woman should aspire to have a neck so white that red wine would be visible inside when she swallowed. In Indonesia there’s the issue of economic and social status and then there’s also the issue of ethnicity. Some people from some groups, like the Javanese, are not so found of people from the Eastern Islands who tend to be darker.

    About the maid+bule thing there’s a really great short story from Pamoedya Ananta Toer you should read. It’s called “Jongos+Babu – sejarah keluarga yang sangat panjang” and you can find it in the book “Cerita dari Jakarta” (Tales from Djakarta).

    I used to know a Portuguese guy – he was right wing and right wing people here are often racist – but this guy wasn’t, he liked to say: “In every people and every ethnic group there are girls who are gorgeous, so how could I be a racist?”

    There are gorgeous women in Indonesia, as there are in other countries and peoples. And then it’s an issue of personal preferences. Some are attracted to blondes, some to brunettes, some to tall girls, some to short girls, some to Scandinavian valkyries and some to Indonesian Dewi Sinta types, some even hope to find their Sulasih somewhere in Asia…

  • Josh R

    Every country has “beautiful” and “ugly” women.
    Indonesian is no exception; of course there are stand-outs on both side of the spectrum but for the most part, from what Ive seen, Indonesian women are very beautiful.

  • psychedelicat

    Oh well, i think it’s because women with maid kinda looks are easier to get.. than the more beautiful and fair kinda women, they definitely way more “high maintenance”.. i might be wrong but for some degree, i can see some truth in it 😉 no offense please..

  • I don’t think it is wise to judge or perhaps stereotype a whole person by her/his looks. Besides, how can you judge a person with “a fair-skinned one, who has the look of a financially independent, educated, and classy lady” must be a beautiful person inside? *(btw, how do you define educated by the looks? glasses? hehehehe)*

    Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see (The Polar Express).

  • psychedelicat

    I’m not saying what on the “inside”, either beautiful or not “physically”, they can either good or bad on the inside too, who knows? I’m saying in a superficial way, in general people who have good outside looks, tend to be proud of themselves, and they like to play “hard to get” and nothing wrong with that. Everybody deserves what they deserve to get, anyone! don’t get me wrong here and again, i’m saying that in general way what is happening in our society, well of course i might be wrong, i might be right too! it’s not a big deal, that’s all i’m saying.

  • (as written in my blog)

    I think if you look thoroughly and patiently, beauty is apparent anywhere, in anyone, no matter what race and nationality, what skin or eye color.

    Unfortunately, the media has bombarded us with the insane and out-of-this-world idea and standard of beauty. The perpetual size “0”, big breasts, straight hair, long legs, tiny waists, light skin. The truth of the matter is, women with all those qualities are the very tiny minuscule minority.

    My idea of beauty is a laughing little girl, a smiling mother and her baby, a content mature woman who accepts who she is.

    Self acceptance and love is the ultimate idea and basis of beauty. And brains. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is not skindeep, and it glows from within. When you feel beautiful, you will appear beautiful.

    I truly believe in that.

  • dunnoo…world so absurd

  • Priscilla

    I was just thinking.

    Some of the guys might be offended by this one, but you know what? I now know why Indonesian guys are so shallow.. You have a wealth of pretty girls there; I mean the ratio to pretty girls to guys is high. What I mean by that is, is that there are plenty of pretty women to go around as opposed to handsome guys.. I noticed this by looking at all of my hubby’s friends on Facebook. These guys are like butt ugly and have all these gorgeous girls. I ask my hubby what is the deal with that? He agrees and states that it’s usually because they have the “dough” to get these pretty girls.

    Just a little observation.. It just seems like Indonesian girls are a little more forgiving when it comes to looks, while Indonesian guys are a little on the shallow side.. At least all the Indonesian guys I’ve known so far at least.
    Okay here’s another example: one of my hubby’s friend is short dark and ugly! Not that the dark part matters but he’s ugly otherwise.
    He dates all these tall fair skinned Indonesian girls and that is all he usually prefers. It just perplexes me because he’s dark himself but is so shallow that he would never date a dark girl?

    Case and point Indonesian guys are hypocrites. Yep sorry..

    Okay here’s another example of Indonesian “shallow-ness.”

    My mother and sister and in-law like to make fun of people in the mall that look like “so called maids”. Funny thing is my sister- in- law is just as dark as those people she is making fun of. So the whole thing doesn’t make sense. It’s as if though: If you are not carrying a Louis Vuitton bag or have on $500 shoes you’re automatically a “beneath” them or what not.

    In my honest opinion people of all colors are pretty, I just wish folks wouldn’t be so superficial and hypocritical..

    Okay done venting..

  • psychedelicat

    Yes i agree with you if some Indonesian men are hypocritical, what a shame..
    Is your hubby’s friend who’s short and ugly is also rich? if so, that’s it then! fair skinned Indonesian girls (just like most of my Indonesian girlfriends) do not particularly interested in Bule but they like Indonesian men who are rich!
    and those women with maid type who “usually” come from poor family (not necessarily true tho) are not preferable for Indonesian and bule seem to like dating them, suddenly put them in a good position, make them feel good. I’m not just saying all this is because i don’t like them, I even asked my husband why and of course he denied it and said that i was racist but i’m not! i think that’s the reality. The funny thing that happened for the next day, when we were at the airport, we both saw a couple, bule and Indonesian woman who look like maid, i did not say a thing but then my hubby said.. oh that’s the kinda woman you were talking about last night and i was just silent, i did not even clarify.
    I am an observer person, especially people behavior, i’m not just judging them but i also try to understand, not to particularly try to find the answer, i just like the idea of knowing people in general, that’s all.
    We all try to fit in, try to look good and if we can’t look good with what we have on the inside or out, then we try to find it from somebody else or something else, just like those rich ugly men who date fair skinned women and usually those women don’t really care with his looks because she’s already beautiful and money make them feel more beautiful (and again i’m not saying all those fair skinned women are either rich or poor).
    Same thing with those women with maid type, dating with bule make them feel good and those bule, of course they don’t really care with their looks because I’m sure they get what they want from these women (not necessarily all about money, can be just for fun, one nite stand “self respect and companion”, etc, etc”)
    It’s all about “looking good” and “feeling good” and nothing wrong with that, we can all do what works for us.

  • geordie

    I’ve heard this “maid” tag in the Philippines too.
    People would say, “Muka siyang katulong”… basically, she looks like a helper… or literally, her face is like a helper’s.

    Similarly, western foreigners are often associated with the darker, shorter women.

    These couples are usually further stigmatized by the assumption of the woman being a prostitute.

    My wife is Javanese and I am Filipino-American. We easily can pass for both, until you hear our accents.

  • Swietenia

    What a long hot arguments! You made it to bring up a hot issue.

    I’m Indonesian, I’m dark and petite. I don’t feel inferior because of that. One thing I’ve learned is to love and be grateful of what I have as I believe that if you sufficiently love yourself you have the power to love others and see the beauty of the world in each tiny things, including in the people who are said to be not pretty.

    PS: Brandon, your blog is as nice as your photos.

  • Physical beauty is a deep skin. After you interact with each other either in marriage or merely living together for years then you will go deeper into the inner beauty. You will hardly see the physical beauty anymore after years pass by with her.

    Regardless your woman will still have a stunning exotic looking at her 50, and lacking of such inner beauty, and yet there is no way out, unless you get divorced or going through dramas with her. That means, everybody learns their own lessons, and there will be always another guy who bites the bait. This is life!

  • Indo

    I used to work (in the States) with an Indo woman. She is a knockout by Western standards, though she did make a comment once about “if I looked better…” After I was able to contain my amazement at this comment, I told her that she is gorgeous…Tall, very slim, hair to her waist, narrow nose (is that considered maid-like in Indo?), bigger breasts than you’d expect on a body that slim. And a firecracker as well! Not to mention smart and ambitious. Of course I had a crush on her, even though she was far younger than I am. And yes, her skin is a beautiful tan color. And she’s hapa! Her dad is bule, I think.

  • Since discussion like this always ends up with a bunch of Indonesian women ACCUSING Indonesian men (like that SLUT Nez For example), I will try to balance it into another perspective…

    Is this story familiar to you ?

    Jack is a bald, fat, ugly, alcoholic, loser bule man and he is constantly rejected by the women in his country. In Indonesia, he is surrounded, approached and adored by many girls….

    I know that this is not politically correct but since someone started it I will say that most Indonesian women are materialistic, hypocrite, spoiled, not independent, demanding, unfaithful and one of the CHEAPEST IN THE WORLD. There you go…

    Why can I say that ?? because I am an adventurer (penjahat kelamin if you will) myself and I have hunted and compared many different girls in the world. I have been with Western (American, British, French, Spanish, Dutch, Hungarian, Czech) , Indian, Pakistan, Arabic (Algeria), Chinese, Filipinos, Thais, Japanese.

    I can sort out the rank of girl CHEAPNESS by country as follows :

    1. Thai
    2. Filipino
    3. Indonesian
    4. Hungarian
    5. Czech
    6. Japanase
    7. American
    8. Chinese (PRC)
    9. Spanish
    10. Dutch
    11. Arabic
    12. British
    13. French
    14. Indian

    How do I parametrize the rank ? by going to the countries, going to the clubs, hunting and counting how many girls per night me and my friends can fuck. Also some information from expatriate, foreign student, foreign UN officer etc.

    May be may list is not statistically accurate, but ask any CPK (Certified Penjahat Kelamin). They will agree with the rank.

    The fact that so many Indonesian women are SO CHEAP is because they are so materialistic and not willing to work hard.

    They just expect one day any bule will come to their life and bring them into western country. After that, they expect their bule man to support their family in Indonesia.

    So try to test the level of Indonesian women CHEAPNESS yourself. Whether you are a bule, Arabic or African guy (doesn’t matter as long as you are foreigner). Try to hanging out in big cities in Indonesia (Jakarta, Bandung, Surabaya, Medan) for a couple of hours, wear an expensive clothes, watches and shoes then rent a fancy car with driver. (sometimes just being bule and poor will also do the job, remember they are so slutty they will approach anything with bule complexity).

    See within few hours, you will have few Indonesian sluts approaching you. And no they are not typical bar whore with G-String like the one you see on New York streets.

    Most likely you will be approached by either college educated or uneducated, either good looking Indonesian or babu looking Indonesian girls… all type of girls… EASILY!

    try yourself!

    Indonesian finest :

    cheap girls.

    ps: Some of you will try to justify this slutty behavior by pointing out that Indonesia is a poor country. FYI India and Pakistan are also poor country, why their women are not sell themselves out like in Indonesia ???

  • I am an Indonesian-American and I can see where Anti NEZ is coming from. I’ve seen a lot of “cheap” girls too but I think many (not most or all, just many) are those who have very little chance of getting outside of their island. It’s disgusting and when they are with a western person, they act like they’ve forgotten how to speak Indonesian or they now have a weird accent. Give me a friggin break! They’ve never left the country and their guys spoke perfect Indonesian.

    Those with rich/normal parents, like Priscilla mention, can go either way. They can have great parents who taught them well or they can be the most spoiled lazy ass girls I’ve ever met and I just want to slap them.

    In the U.S. I have a professional job. Everything is literally 50-50. We have our own accounts and everything. The only two thing we finally did together is get a home loan and a car. There is no way I’d let my husband support me unless we really have to (if he gets a job transfer) and hopefully not for too long. Also, if I were single, there’s no way I’d be chasing after a guy because he’s rich. Both the guys I’ve been with were not rich when we met but since they’re all hard working so money comes naturally.

  • @Priscilla and Savitri,

    You missed the whole point. Stereotyping is not (politically) correct (although sometimes it has statistical basis), but now (in this blog) we play a fun game called STEREOTYPING.

    This is just a normal respond to generalization by few ladies here that Indonesian men are ugly and shallow (which to some point, I agree). Of course, you cannot just get away easily like that…

    Stereotyping Indonesian men without expecting any reaction from Indonesian men is ridiculous… that’s why I am here to participate in this ‘fun’ game…

    Your turn…

  • And to Savitri, I know many Indonesian ladies working in US and Europe. But most of them have a ‘bule’ husband, so of course life will be easier for them regardless of their education and experience.. We all know how difficult it is to get a work Visa in US and Europe for foreigner.

    Me and other Indonesian men must have a really exceptional qualifications to go abroad (US, Europe, Middle East) let alone get a job there..

    And no, marrying a foreign woman is not our options. Most of us don’t have money, and you know money is the most important thing for a man to get a woman, let alone a foreign woman, but of course this ‘social convention’ do not apply to women, they can still get men easily everywhere regardless the money (and even looks) they have (as long they are willing to spread their legs)…

    So if you are an Indonesian women and working abroad, don’t be so proud of it, because all you have to do is offering your pussy to any foreigner (with exception to few women of course, like my sister who is working abroad because she is very qualified and educated)

  • NEZ, doesn’t apply to me. I’ve been in the U.S. since I was five. I did go to school in Indonesia for a little bit but my home is always here. So no, I was born in Indonesia but I’m as American as anybody else.

    Just FYI, I didn’t sleep with anybody until I was engaged and only had two guys in my lifetime. I’m picky with the shoes that I wear I’d be retarded to not be with the guys I sleep with.

    I’ve never dated an Asian. They just don’t appeal to me. The men I’ve been with never cared whether I make more than they do or if they have to cook on some nights and clean. Actually I don’t have any Indonesian friends here. I do keep in touch with those I met in Indonesia but none here.

    My parents think I’m too damn liberal and independent (my husband think so too) but hey, it’s just who I am. I worked hard to get what I have now and it defines who I am.

    My sister married an Indonesian born guy but he’s been a citizen for a while too… before he met her. He moved when he was a boy too. My sister was born in the U.S.

  • Oh, I don’t find a lot of Indonesian guys attractive either. When they’re young they’re doable but after they get married or comfortable they get fat or unkept. There are a handful of exceptions but for the most part that’s what I see. Yes I’m generalizing.

    But it seems like the size of your body reflects how well off you are. I went to Indonesia last year and everybody thought I needed monetary help because I was so skinny in their eyes. They all wanted to fatten me up. WTF! Then they wanted to fatten me up with junk food. There’s just no way. All the gym time and the natural/organic goodness in my body would go to waste. It was tough eating there. The food was great but since I didn’t know if the chicken were happy chicken or full of man made hormones I felt a bit weirded out.

  • Man, one of my comments is in moderation… oh well… weird… I wrote it before the one that’s posted above.

    Anyhow, NEZ, I think you’re a bit sexist. My friend in Australia (my Indonesian high school friend), she makes over $150,000 AUS and a citizen on her own. She has a steady boyfriend (3-4 years I think) but just not interested in marriage. She’s 33 and she hates it when her family nags her about the M word.

    Most of my Asian friends do have a white or Asian-Americans partner/husband but all these ladies are US citizens or at least a resident (they could have gotten their citizenship a long time ago but they’re too lazy to do the paperwork — their family migrated here when they were kids) before they got together. Most of my friends migrated from the Philippines, Vietnam, Laos, or Korea and they all have jobs in their careers.

  • Hi Savitri, tell your friend in Australia this quote :

    “Men age like wine, women age like milk”

    Boy I really feel sexist…

  • Brandon

    Please let me know if you’d prefer that I moderate this post more aggressively and/or lock it down. I’ve seen a few comments in here that are not contributing to any sort of an intellectual conversation.

    @Anti NEZ – your comment above referring to Indonesian women working abroad is unacceptable. Please refrain from that type of comment again.

  • Oh and BTW Savitri, You work in US. Nothing to be proud of. You’ve been there since you were five, your parents brought you there. Big deal.

    So what I can imply is that most Indonesian women can get a job and living abroad because either :
    1. They were born or raised there.
    2. They are offering their pussies to foreign men.

    Can you see the difference? Non-citizen Indonesian men has to work very hard to get a job in US ?? Sadly just because they don’t have any pussy to offer.

  • @Priscilla, my real name is Bejo, there you go… what is your real name ??

    And Priscilla please stop pretending that you are an American girl married to Indonesian men. I know that you are an Indonesian girl…

    I am sorry if my post is disturbing anyone, but we play a game called stereotyping here.

    Someone generalizing Indonesian men as ugly and shallow, I respond by stereotyping Indonesian women as materialistic and cheap. Fair enough isn’t it ?

  • NEZ, arguing with you is useless. I’m not just proud to work in the U.S. I am proud to have accomplished everything on my own and doing well in my field. It doesn’t matter where I work. I actually want to work in Africa, for a non-profit in the field of education, but since I’m married and with a young family, I can’t quite do that. So hopefully I can when the kids are out of the house. I don’t know, Africa seems really interesting to me.

    There is a lot to be proud of in working, whether you work outside of the home or as a great stay-at-home mom. To some people here I am super woman. I think I’m like anybody else but they are amazed at how I can work and handle the home, husband, and have an incredibly well mannered and intelligent child and also keep up with my hobby.

    A lot of people don’t have jobs here right now and a lot of people who migrated here work very very hard and some are successful and some others are not as so. The same who have been in the U.S. for generations, they all have their share of hard and easy life. To all who tries their darnest I give them a proud nod.

    Also, it’s not just foreigners, if your heart is set on being a gold digger or to dream of a life elsewhere, some will do what it takes, which will include things that many will find very disrespectful.

    You claim to have slept with many women, there’s nothing great about that. Have you checked yourself for HIV?

    Oh, not every woman wants to get married. There is nothing wrong with being with somebody and not be legally bound. My sister-in-law has been with her guy for 20+ years. Oh, isn’t Goldie Hawn and what’s his name not married either. What is a marriage? I chose to do it because it felt right but if it wasn’t the right guy, I’d be ok if I were unmarried until the day I die and donate everything I have to the humane society and an environmental group.

  • nad

    cantik itu relatif, jelek itu absolut.

    *sorry brandon, cant help it, just add oil in fire, hekekekekek*


  • @Savitri, do you enjoy working in social or non-profit field ? I am seriously thinking about it as well..

    I am thinking of giving up this corporate world someday (it’s soo damn booring) and become UN Peace Corps volunteer or WWF volunteer. Going to Africa to keep an eye on that crazy militant separatists or Saving rhino or orangutan in Indonesia seems a very intriguing idea …

    It’s nice that we have something in common 🙂

    @Priscilla yes I am bored:) haven’t slept for the last 24 hours working on this stupid project in Paris.

    oh and yes it’s very nice to know that you are interested in Indonesian culture 🙂 I think you are very sweet and open minded person..

  • I worked in the corporate world for 5 years and now in public (higher) education, 6 years. Pros and cons on both, and if pay is an issue, stick to the corp. I can make twice as much in corp. than edu. but I am much happier now. I get more gratification from my work and I do interact with more people too. Public edu is non-profit but not the type I want to do when I grow up. For that, I’ve only volunteered and it’s a different environment as a volunteer. I have friends who were/are in social/non-profit for a living and half loved it (and so now they’re elsewhere) and half loved it and they’re still there. It all depends on your wants and needs and most who quit are because of the pay in comparison to elsewhere for the same responsibility.

    My undergrad is in psychology and mass communication and my grad is in technology and education. I’m kicking around a PhD in social psych but then an MD/health care sounds good too for my future non-profit venture. I guess I don’t need another degree to do it but I somehow feel I’d be more useful if I did — knowing how to work html, css, php and coldfusion isn’t going to help anybody there :). I can teach though. So looking for a free way to get another degree… I haven’t paid for any of my higher education 🙂

    I’m learning French too right now… in case I get to a French speaking African country… or any French speaking country for all it matters.

    I donate $$ to animal protection but my non-profit venture will be for humans and education although again, if I did pursue another degree in health care I’d love to improve that aspect in 3rd world countries. Again, my family is still young and hubby has 10 more years to his current job. So I have a lot of years to think about this and prep.

    J’aime beaucoup France. Je veux visiter la encore. Au revoir.

  • hmm well i’m a young american, don’t have a great job(military) or alot of family money. but my chinese-indonesian fiancee never cared about that or where i live or becoming an american citizen. she actually pleaded with me a few times to move there, which i can’t do cause of my job. she actually is more affluent and educated than i am, and as everyone i have met they have always commented on how “hot” she is. in her circle of friends and peers, she is the only one with a caucasian bf, and is always teased about it. her parents and grandparents have raised to her believe the most important thing is love not race or position, their only concern is her happiness and us have some plan for our future. but i have noticed like alot of others have said, she has on more than on one occasion commented on how she was too dark or wished she was whiter. even though that she as an ethnic chinese she is lighter than most ethnic indonesians.
    i know there are people who marry for security and for beauty, for status and exoticism, for convenience and laziness.
    why not for simple love. i don’t care if someone is white, hispanic, asian, or black, dark or light, poor or rich. there are beautiful women amongst them all. the important thing is who they are as a person how they treat me and how they treat themselves. i hate racism and stereotyping, no one should be proud of it. people are people. beauty is perspective, even though those women who not traditionally beautiful in ur culture might be in another way.
    idk i know i’ve rambled slightly randomly but some of these comments piss me off. not because they might not be right on average but because they are right on average people treat everyone like that even if i their case its not like that. oh well

  • Johan


    What a long list!

    Anyway,I would like to add too.

    I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder,but many people still judge others by the cover of the book.Superficiality is everywhere.Its the norm,trend,convention,so to speak.Every society has their what is beautiful,accepted,ideal,respected etc and Asians,see white people and nearly everything from them as good,beautiful,the ideal etc.No suprise because most of the non-western world is developing to be modern and the developed modern nations are Western.

    I’m from Malaysia,and every single time I go to a mall here,you will always see a white men+asian women couple.

    of course this doesnt apply to all,but I think many of this couples came to be with race as among the main reasons or reason to get together.Meaning,they chose their partner with race as a main criteria.
    In this,the girl will use her looks,charm etc to attract and get the guy,and for the guy,well,he “uses his race” to get her.How does he use his race? Well,he does it with the thought that his race will get what he wants and shows up wherever it is to get her.

    I notice that many of the ladies with a white bf/husband tend to dress in a slutty-girly esque way.

  • acoustic chef

    It’s heaven if you get, 1. American salary 2.German cars 3.Chinese food 4. Indonesian wife

    It’s hell when you get, 1. American wife 2.German food 3. Chinese cars 4. Indonesian salary….hehehehe…

    I’m pure Indonesian, color skin doesn’t matter to me. As long as you fill each other up..

  • What an interesting exchanges between Savitry and AntiNez. Who is right or wrong? Who cares. I am more interested in ANtinez’s list of countries where I can find cheap P%^*y 🙂 Now I need to start save some money. Poor me 🙁

  • Dina

    I’m Batak’s girl from Medan – Indonesia, I’m Tall with a Bronze Skin and Bambi eyes … I Love it and Proud to be Dark Indonesia 🙂

  • Bernard

    I am Dutch. Here in Netherland Indonesian women are well known for being bitchy, materialistic and cheap.

  • jane

    That’s because Dutch people in Indonesia always go to shitty places like pubs n night clubs, Bernard.

  • Ijul

    beauty, like many other similar concepts, is cultural context, embedded with values, the way we perceive it indirectly unravels how multidimensional social system and structure work in certain societies

  • Ijul

    there’s one thing that bugs my mind in response to most comments posted here… those who were initiated by the simple-but-igniting thread tend to forget many other important aspects, such as the process of bule-lokal relationship and multiple elements which have important roles in it, and one more thing for sure, inclination of over generalization is quite disturbing…

  • anita

    Beauty is relevant. That’s darn cliche. However, for most Indonesian men, beautiful women are those with fair skin (such as Manadonese or Sundanese women), tall, straight hair, and “hidung mancung”. Whilst, for some (can’t really claimed majority of) western men, dark skin, small nose (including flat nose), and curly hair women are exotic and sexually more appealing than the other category. After all, doesn’t the first group a tad bit similar to the western women’s physical characteristics minus the blonde hair?
    Rumput tetangga selalu lebih hijau dari rumput sendiri, right?
    I personally believe in this theory. My case is the fact. I was born and grew up in Manado, but not a Manadonese. Growing up, particularly during my university years, I quietly accepted that no boys paid any attention to me (Halelujah, imagined if one of them did; I have ended up stuck in Manado with say, five or six children perhaps? LOL). To cheer up, I convinced myself that they just way too intimidated by my brain capacity 🙂
    However, the moment I set foot in USA, I was indeed surprise by the whistles and hints the guys send to me. Get honks by male driver is an everyday routine. A man tried to grope me once when I jogged in a bright day light in a public place! I can’t sit alone at Starbuck reading my book without a man make an attempt for conversation.
    I do admit that this realization that I have the ability to demand the male attention is quite beneficial when it comes to work. As a Registered Nurse (and proudly announced that I’m currently pursuing my nurse practitioner; in your face you Indonesian guys who paid no attention to me, hahahhhaaaa), majority of my male patients (young and old) are very nice and polite to me. And….brace for the most shocking news, the old ladies love my short nose. FYI, “Pesek” was the nickname the other kids at my elementary school unmercifully label me with as my nose shorter than theirs. Whoever said children are innocent creatures (LOL).
    So…..for all the sawo matang, hidung pesek, rambut berombak, dan pendek girls alias nona/cewek rata2 (physically!) di Indonesia, don’t worry…..be happy, because in other parts of the world you are the beautiful ones.

    PS: when I lived in Japan and the Philippines, I didn’t get much attention too, just like my Indonesia’s experience. Asian males prefer fair skin women.

  • Tom

    This is a very interesting discussion. I think it is sooo cool for any culture to be able to view another and find beauty in those attributes which makes us physically different. I am an American white male who has befriended a beautiful dark skinned Idonesian woman. I can not understand why she finds me attractive and she does not understand why I think she is so pretty . . . hahaha. All I can say is I think I’m the lucky one.

  • Tom

    Correction to my previous comment . . . Maaf . . . If I want to keep my dark skinned Indo friend, I better learn to spell Indonesian . . . hahaha. I try to write the best I can; but sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can . . .haha.

  • anita

    A note on the differences we have. We need to stop put a label on someone because of the color of one’s skin. Whether in Indonesia or in States (and some other countries I’ve visited) sadly but true, people are being judged by the color of their skins; unless they have money or power or both. I remember befriended a Papuan guy in my first year at the university in Manado after realized that none of the other students want to hang up with him, all just because he is a wee different than the rest of us.
    In one party that I attended in Tokyo, where most of the party-goers were expats, a drunken Cambodian man blurted out his distrust of his Japanese “friends”. “They (the Japanese) just pretend to like you. They smile in front of you, but behind you they think you are nothing but a dirt. No gaijin (foreigner) worth a cent in their eyes.” A red-faced German (thanks to the free flow of drinks) in the circle nodded his head in synch.
    Here in States, you’ll still find that group of people. And, by saying so, not only talking about the Caucasians but also the other ethnic groups. I remember being asked one day by an African-American girl at work, “Why is that I never see an Asian girl dates a black guy? Are you guys don’t like black people?” I was taken a back by her question/accusation and found my self all day long mulling on the issue: is that true?
    My psych professor at the nursing school shared with us his experience on racism. Growing up, both mom and dad –although not openly declared their dislike of people of color– had imprinted on their children’s head the necessity to stay away of those who are different than them. Call it fear of the unknown. As he entered high school he decided to venture to the unknown territory and found the truth. He makes friend, very good friends, with some boys from the ghetto. His conclusion: if you afraid of something, get to know it. You’ll be surprise that you might just love it.
    If we want to stop the war in this world of us, then start it by knowing the person who sit next to you in the class or at work. Start by smiling to the person who sit next to you on the bus. Don’t start the day by scanning one’s appearance. There are bad people out there, but one would never tell that by the color of their skins.

  • Anna Barrington

    Hi Brandon, let me tell you about my own experience. I'm Indonesian woman and happened to be married with Australian. We been married for 10 years. My husband and I were friend for 2 years before we decided to bring our relationship into one step further. Both my parent are from Solo, Central Java and they both had this golden chocolate skin color.

    The 1st one year of our marriage it's been very hard for me because all the comment that I had from the people surround us, the Indonesian people. Everytime we out for Dinner or a simply walking in the mall people always looking at my husband first and looking at me from top to toe – i was often getting upset because of this but I never tell my husband how upset I am.
    Until one night my husband and I just coming back from a movie we decided to take a walk on the street for a while just to get a bit of exercise, nothing wrong with the way i dress that night, just a cotton blouse, a denim pant. After about 500 meters there's a bunch of man just outside circle K (the 24 hours shop) and one of them yelled and called me Pelacur or a prostitute in English word, my husband walk quickly toward that guy and without saying a word just show his left weeding finger and grab my left hand and show that man my weeding finger too, at the end He just said : “Dia Istri saya!!” and we walked away from them.
    In another occasion people always called me with a a different nick name everytime my husband and I seen together.
    Sad??..YES, HURT?? definitely…and very often i have to stop my husband from having an argument with other people who looked at me down.

    Year two of our marriage We decided to have our Christmas in Australia, I was so worried with a number reason, here I am in my own country and i get treated so badly just because I'm a woman with a dark skin color and being married with a bule husband – and about to go outside the country, the country that full with Bule and different culture. My husband always said to me ” You will will be fine there! “.
    He is right, NO ONE called me prostitute there, NO ONE looking at me with a strange look, NO ONE being rude to me…EVERYBODY are so nice and polite.

    AND NOW, after 10years…I might have to thank to the people who once ever called me Prostitute, Pembantu, Hitam, Kampungan….because of them I become a woman who I am now.
    NOW, I'm still a wife of a bule husband, a mother of 4 children and a Successful business woman.
    The experience that I have who make me what I am now, the people who looked at me down become the people who motivated me the most.

  • Anna Barrington

    Hi Brandon, let me tell you about my own experience. I'm Indonesian woman and happened to be married with Australian. We been married for 10 years. My husband and I were friend for 2 years before we decided to bring our relationship into one step further. Both my parent are from Solo, Central Java and they both had this golden chocolate skin color.

    The 1st one year of our marriage it's been very hard for me because all the comment that I had from the people surround us, the Indonesian people. Everytime we out for Dinner or a simply walking in the mall people always looking at my husband first and looking at me from top to toe – i was often getting upset because of this but I never tell my husband how upset I am.
    Until one night my husband and I just coming back from a movie we decided to take a walk on the street for a while just to get a bit of exercise, nothing wrong with the way i dress that night, just a cotton blouse, a denim pant. After about 500 meters there's a bunch of man just outside circle K (the 24 hours shop) and one of them yelled and called me Pelacur or a prostitute in English word, my husband walk quickly toward that guy and without saying a word just show his left weeding finger and grab my left hand and show that man my weeding finger too, at the end He just said : “Dia Istri saya!!” and we walked away from them.
    In another occasion people always called me with a a different nick name everytime my husband and I seen together.
    Sad??..YES, HURT?? definitely…and very often i have to stop my husband from having an argument with other people who looked at me down.

    Year two of our marriage We decided to have our Christmas in Australia, I was so worried with a number reason, here I am in my own country and i get treated so badly just because I'm a woman with a dark skin color and being married with a bule husband – and about to go outside the country, the country that full with Bule and different culture. My husband always said to me ” You will will be fine there! “.
    He is right, NO ONE called me prostitute there, NO ONE looking at me with a strange look, NO ONE being rude to me…EVERYBODY are so nice and polite.

    AND NOW, after 10years…I might have to thank to the people who once ever called me Prostitute, Pembantu, Hitam, Kampungan….because of them I become a woman who I am now.
    NOW, I'm still a wife of a bule husband, a mother of 4 children and a Successful business woman.
    The experience that I have who make me what I am now, the people who looked at me down become the people who motivated me the most.

    • StephenB

      Sounds like Indonesia suffers from the same type of colonial mentality that the Philippines does. The perception that the lighter the skin, the straighter the nose, the better. Until the culture gets over that fallacy, they (like the Philippines) will remain backwards socially, economically, and politically.

      • Priscilla

        Sorry couldn't help but post here again. This next story proves that it doesn't matter if you're White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, there are just people who are just off.

        In this story a crazy Asian wife handcuffs herself to her American husband so that they could “talk” lol So much for the “sweet and innocent” stereotype. lol
        It was all over the news yesterday.

        Handcuffed Husband Calls 911 During Biting Attack
        Estranged Wife Cuffs Herself To Husband In An Attempt To Reconcile
        Mans Call For Police Help Caught On Tape
        FAIRFIELD, Conn. (CBS) ―

        Some people will go to fisticuffs to get their point across, and others will go to, well, handcuffs.

        Such was the case for a Fairfield woman having marital problems who desperately wanted to talk to her husband after he apparently decided to leave her, reports CBS station WCBS-TV in New York.

        Helen Sun, 37, was arrested Tuesday after sneaking into Robert Drawbough's bedroom and handcuffing herself to him while he slept so they could talk.

        Drawbough, frightened by his wife's antics, however, called police immediately and begged the dispatcher for help after his wife began biting and scratching him.

        Rest of story here:


    • happyguy

      Good for you ! “In every adversity comes the seed of a far greater benefit” Napolean Hill and W. Clement Stone. I am happy for you and for you overcoming this. Those people saying nasty things about you were ignorant and bigotted and you are better off to be rid of them. I wish you much happiness ans success in the future.

    • lilbalimermaid

      Hallo bu, my name is Jessica. I am 16 years old – my mother is Indonesian and my father is American. I never really thought about this topic before – I knew that some people did criticize Indonesian women of darker skin who married a foreigner in the ways thatyou havedescribed though very rarely – i never really thought about it – i didn't giveit a second though but after reading what you have went through I feel so disgusted. That is terrible and I'm so sorry that had ever happened to you. If it makes you feel any better – my mother is dark skinned and I believe she isthe most beautiful in the world – and I am sure you are too. You are a true indonesian woman – those white indonesian chicks, trying on all desperate attempts with so many skin products to make themselves white are trying to be what they are not, they are not embracing their culture – BE FIERCE AND BE CONFIDENT because baby, dark skin is GORGEOUS – screw those men who called you such disgusting names – they are complete idiots.

      With Love,

    • Robie1420

      Anna, this is a very interesting article. I am Afro-American and I joined a few Asian dating sites. I noticed that 99% of the girls dont’ want guys with dark skin. But, I did meet one on line who, like your self, also had dark brown skin. I called her on Skype and had a video discusssion about racial prejudice in her country (Thailand). It is something that they feel ashamed of try to pretend it does not exist. But it does. And it goes deep and it seems in all of asia.

    • Mei

      that’s what happen to me too when i go out with my bf, although they didnt say it but i can tell but the way they looking at me. but what the heck, what do they know, they just plain jealous.

  • Anna Barrington

    Bernard, here in Indonesia the dutch also well known as arrogant, loud mouth, and cruel. In our history book showed.

  • Anna Barrington

    Bernard, here in Indonesia the dutch also well known as arrogant, loud mouth, and cruel. In our history book showed.

  • Anna Barrington

    Quang, I feel very sorry for you. I feel sorry for your comment, your attitude, your ignorant.
    She must be a very smart lady, who can leave that damage in your live specially in your brain – and I bet that lady is Indonesian.

  • Anna Barrington

    Quang, I feel very sorry for you. I feel sorry for your comment, your attitude, your ignorant.
    She must be a very smart lady, who can leave that damage in your live specially in your brain – and I bet that lady is Indonesian.

  • StephenB

    Sounds like Indonesia suffers from the same type of colonial mentality that the Philippines does. The perception that the lighter the skin, the straighter the nose, the better. Until the culture gets over that fallacy, they (like the Philippines) will remain backwards socially, economically, and politically.

  • Priscilla

    Sorry couldn't help but post here again. This next story proves that it doesn't matter if you're White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, there are just people who are just off.

    In this story a crazy Asian wife handcuffs herself to her American husband so that they could “talk” lol So much for the “sweet and innocent” stereotype. lol
    It was all over the news yesterday.

    Handcuffed Husband Calls 911 During Biting Attack
    Estranged Wife Cuffs Herself To Husband In An Attempt To Reconcile
    Mans Call For Police Help Caught On Tape
    FAIRFIELD, Conn. (CBS) ―

    Some people will go to fisticuffs to get their point across, and others will go to, well, handcuffs.

    Such was the case for a Fairfield woman having marital problems who desperately wanted to talk to her husband after he apparently decided to leave her, reports CBS station WCBS-TV in New York.

    Helen Sun, 37, was arrested Tuesday after sneaking into Robert Drawbough's bedroom and handcuffing herself to him while he slept so they could talk.

    Drawbough, frightened by his wife's antics, however, called police immediately and begged the dispatcher for help after his wife began biting and scratching him.

    Rest of story here:


  • liza4u

    can I look who you are

  • Craig

    I think this guy is off base and lame. Man…. when I was in Indonesia I thought the women there were some of the most beautiful in the world. I look around my hometown in the US and I'm tired of the overweight, same faced white women and they do nothing for me. People need to judge their “own” on the same scale that we look at other nations. There's beautiful and ugly everywhere, but I just happen to think Indo is blessed with beauty.

  • Craig

    I think this guy is off base and lame. Man…. when I was in Indonesia I thought the women there were some of the most beautiful in the world. I look around my hometown in the US and I'm tired of the overweight, same faced white women and they do nothing for me. People need to judge their “own” on the same scale that we look at other nations. There's beautiful and ugly everywhere, but I just happen to think Indo is blessed with beauty.

    • Craig

      PS… I happen to be attracted to the same features and skin color that so many Asian women try to get rid of. Wake up wide nose, dark skin women… YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!!

    • nataliemaharani

      Yes you can't get American women, they have a high standard of men. So you turn to 3rd country women who will adore you like a god. Pathetic.

      • msw

        hi…i from bali i stay in USA that not true,…american women is the same like other women in the world, they don`t have a high standard of man? what are you talking about? some women are nice, some women a bitch…..my friend from texas going to bali visit me last years, she is falling love with balinese man….you never know……..not all indonesian man is ugly,,,,,,,,,,and not all indonesian women like white man….mostly balinese women tell you in the trut………

        • Ettysugiarty

          Indonesian woman adore western man cause they are all a good looking or handsome. Example : If they have a boyfriend or husband from western make them proud in front of their family and friends. BUT……They will do anything for they man if they LOVE and want that man want respect and acceipt them just the way they are…:D. 

      • coconutman

        Girl, you have a lot of issues you need to address. Maybe if you had a man you would feel differenly. And you are certainly not maha as you name suggests.

      • Samo1984

        I see this comment a lot. It's very funny. The comment always goes something like this…. western guys can't get women in their own country so they come to Indonesia to be like a king or something. Well I live in America, make good money and have a beautiful blonde, green eyed wife. I go to Indonesia for a few months for business and have a dark, skinny, black-haired even more beautiful Sundanese girl. The Indonesian women are superior. When I come back to the U.S., I always see people staring at my wife.

        • Monique

          I feel sorry for your wife, you are a pig to do that to her, you could give her an STD. Why are you married to a beautiful blonde in the first place if you prefer a different type? It’s not like there are no dark women to be found in The United States. But I think you don’t want a dark Americanized woman, you want a girl with a 3rd world mentality to be your sex toy for a few months. I hope your wife leaves you and finds someone who finds her superior to all other women. Every wife should be the queen of her husbands heart. You are an American pig.

          • Thomasmartin2004

            3rd world Islamic women are raised from birth under Islam just to be that…If that is what Muslim men want it is their world not ours.

          • Posakuragi–Sari

            I read all ur comments, u r so loser guy!! So poor guy who cried over n over again coz a women! Guy like u is not deserve a nice kindness women, I think that’s why God give u bad women!
            I’m an indonesian women with good looking, golden brown skin n have good job, I have English boyfriend who working for government, we met each other coz our companies transfer us to middle east for work. I have so many friends with more money than him, but I do love my boyfriend even he just British government officer!!
            Thomas: I’m sure that deep on ur heart, since the first time u met ur siti, u know that she wasn’t good lady according to ur story that she was a prostitute! I have travel the world coz my work n I’m sure that in all countries around the world, most of prostitute ladies just want ur money! So, ur problem is not bcos she is am Indonesian but bcos ur fall in love with a prostate lady!! Don’t say bad things bout my country!! If u don’t like my country or out people, please go out from Indonesia n shut up!
            Anyway, if u said bout money, how rich & decent are u Thomas? 12,000$ for five years wasn’t seem good enough for u to complaint!!
            Once again, if u don’t like us, please just GO and SHUT UP!!

          • Stevania_thena

            hi many Indonesian women is now married to a white man speccialy ; american men,dutch men, australian men,german men  &mongol men _

      • junior

        i agreee with craig. u.s. wide is hog after hog woman everywhere. its to the point most men have no clue now what a sexy woman looks like so march along in hog heaven bliss.

      • DrJones

        By reading ur comment I can surely say a man would need a very low standart to marry u ….and even more to love u…

      • Cornelis de Houtman

        As a matter of fact, no. I’m a European, divorced from a beautiful and lovely European wife with Indonesian roots. Divorced because we were estranged, as so often happens when one’s pursueing a career. Could have my pick of women, since I’m not too bad looking and well off financially. Pretty women much younger than me too, and with a great career of their own. Financially independent. Etcetera. But none of them could spark something in my soul.

        No, I fell in love with an Indonesian woman, divorced and to me the most beautiful person in the world. Orphaned, having to be self resilient from her 3rd year – strong, honest, and sweet. With a very definite opinion of what a man should be, if he wanted any success with her – and seeing her many suitors, she was quite picky.

        Anyway, we are a couple now. Call me pathetic if you want; I have to hand it to Craig that American women with their high standards as you call it, never have appealed to me. In my visits to the States, I’ve found most of them self centered, spoilt, shallow and very, very fake in their emotional expressions, with the exception of a small minority. Sorry.

        • Thomasmartin2004

          Right on with this comment.. As an American man u are spot on Mate….But indonesian women are the same.. not all. If u are lucky to find one u have been looking in the 5% category of women worth marrying from there

      • EyesWideOpen

        This is such a stereotypical response, and it really needs to be refuted.

        I am a late 30’s american, good looking, and in great shape. Demographics prove that I am the one of the hardest working men in the world, and among the most highly educated and paid. I am also one of the most respectful towards women, and family oriented of all nationalities in the world. American men are the most desired on the planet on a worldwide dating scene.

        What do demographics prove about American women? You’re on average 162 lbs and a size 14. You initiate 70% of divorces, and 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. In court you’re likely to earn as much as half of my income for as long as you are single, and will likely get a much more favorable custody situation of children than me. On scales that matter to American men, your demographics put you nearly at the bottom. I’m quite willing to concede the fact that you’re probably more likely to be college oriented, and able to make your own living (despite the fact that I will still be expected to pay for our dates). These factors aren’t high on my list of priorities, which would probably include temperament, attractiveness, kindness, and family orientation. On a worldwide scale you can’t even come close in these categories to say Filipina or Indonesian women.

        If I choose to date amongst the world population, I can pick a mate who most closely matches my desired criteria. I am currently involved with a truly gorgeous 18 year old Indonesian girl, who is sweet and kind and caring on a scale that no American women could approach. I literally chose her as my dream girl amongst hundreds of other beautiful women who all desperately wanted my affection. If I approached a beautiful 18 year old girl in America with the intent of forming a relationship with her, she would most likely think of me as a pervert or “pathetic” in your own words. Her family would probably totally disapprove of me and there would be eternal conflict. My soon to be Indonesian family-in-law reveres me and fully embraces me.

        I full plan on worshiping my soon-to-be-wife as a goddess, shouldn’t she worship me as a god? That is what you find pathetic?

        I understand your anger, but its misplaced. You are literally gaming the system. On a worldwide scale, you’re nothing. But in local markets, you have all the power. For American men who are unaware of what the rest of the world has to offer them, as most are, they think they have to endure your insults. American men look around at the average size 14 girl and think that is what the world is like. They grow up in a culture where women treat men as you do and so they know no better. It’s actually insulting to most American women to call them submissive, but a point of pride to women from other countries.

        Don’t worry. I tell as many of my friends and brothers as I can about The Game you have running on us. But that will still only mean a tiny fraction of a fraction of 1% will ever wake up to the con job you are running on us. So for now you are safe.

        But to come to this board and make this post and expect anything other than derision is insanity. You’re a con woman who’s disrespectful to her marks that somehow managed to wise up? We’re the pathetic ones?

        • Udolipixie

          Funny how you forgot to mention all average Americans are hogs.
          The average American man is a size 44 and 189 lb.

          I agree with natalie most guys in overseas marriage are ugly/average guys who want a hot woman 20 to 10 years younger that they didn’t get in America.
          Notice how all their marriages include younger attractive women.

          Look at online dating in America men don’t want women their own age. Men over 30 want women in their 20s. Men over 40cwant women in their 20s and 30s. You get the idea.

          Ugly/average american men think it’s settling when they go for ugly/average women. They do they finally get sick of the hot girl who wants an equally hot man. But then the ugly/average man finds that the ugly/average women wants a hot guy.

          So hot women become shallow for wanting an equally attractive man. But the ugly/average guy is never shallow for wanting a hot woman.

          So ugly/average women have high standards when they want a hot man. But the ugly/average guy is never hypocritical for doing the same thing.

          Just like no one can convince you that American women are shallow hogs no one can convince me that American men are not shallow when they go for overseas marriages until I see an oder unattractive wife.

          I know how hypocritical guys are they do the whole girls only sleep with bad boys when they’re hot nice guys to marry when they’re old. But men want hotties for friends with benefits, one night stands, short terms and n8ce cute girls for long term. What’s the difference?

          I know men because in high school I was the scrawny but wide hipped chick with the round face but high cheekbones. So I hung out with “nice guys” who drooled over hot girls and made nasty comments about how they were too stuck up to notice that he would be a much better boyfriend then their jock.

          When my mom told me I’d be as pretty as her I laughed but it’s true I’m an hourglass size 00 and my round face and high cheekbones don’t look as weird as I thought. I though girls with circle faces had to have chubby faces to make it work and skinny chicks weren’t supposed to have hips and lean legs. But apparently a slender hourglass and an Audrey Hepburn face (she had a round face) is good for modeling.

          The nice guy friends suddenly wanted me when some the hot chicks got married out of high school or put on 10 to 20 lbs and became a healthy eight.

          The guys who didn’t want me when I was unattractive call me a shallow bitch who thinks she
          s too good for her only friends in high school.

          Some went overseas and got 18/19 year olds and said basically I got a younger &hotter girl.

          I don’t care because as a model there is always someone more good looking and I could care less about a girl 2/1 years younger than me.

          Guys who go overseas are just shallow and pathetic men who can’t love a woman when she’s over 30 and will no longer look like she did.

          The ONE guy I had dated actually said thank god you’ll stay hot like your mom. My mom always looked my 2 year older sister and she’s in her forties now and had 2 other kids in her late 30s.

          I didn’t look at his overweight bald dad and said I can’t be with you since you won’t be hot.

          Shallow men is why I no longer date men and won’t marry a man. Because once I’m unattractive to him he’ll go for my little sister who is 1 year old now but would be in the future
          19 years younger than me. If men don’t want to date women their own age who’s to say when I’m 40 he won’t be into my 21 year old sister?

          Men love youth & beauty for all that men complain about money & status loving women at least you can attain lose things and keep it. You’re either beautiful or you’re not. And you don’t stay young.


        • lady d

          So you call American women overweight yet American men are even more likely to be overweight and obese. Nearly 30% of you are certifiably obese.

          Younger women such as myself are graduating from college at rates higher than men and the income advantage you keep quoting as if somehow that makes men superior to women won’t last long given the higher educational achievement of women. The average American man makes only 32,000 dollars a year and doesn’t have a college degree, pretty pathetic by western standards.

          You say that women file for 70% percent of divorces but maybe that’s because men commit adultery twice as often as women.

          American men also have a much lower life expectancy than women due to unhealthy weight and habits.

          You even admit, that an 18 year old in the states wouldn’t touch you and that you want a submissive woman. And yes, I do find it pathetic that you are so insecure and controlling that you would rather date a submissive, uneducated woman (how educated can you be at 18), who is financially reliant on you (and will probably for that reason never seek divorce no matter how badly you treat her). Lets face it in America you are neither rich, nor that good looking, nor that educated otherwise you could easily find a girl. By comparison in Indo you’re a king which allows can justify you’re obvious arrogance. In American you are threatened by a woman who is your equal and demands mutual respect.

          And please, lets not forget the absolute worst thing about American men….their unjustied ARROGANCE! I actually now living in Scandinavia now and was having a chat with a female friend who is also from the US. Neither of can ever imagine being attracted to am American man again. And believe me, we’ve dated plenty of them.

      • karen jessica nastalim

        3rd country? how offensive!

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Beauty on the outside but pure ugly inside….

  • Craig

    PS… I happen to be attracted to the same features and skin color that so many Asian women try to get rid of. Wake up wide nose, dark skin women… YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!!

  • Mike

    Indonesian men don't have the same respect for women as white men do. It's likely because of Islam.

  • Mike

    Indonesian men don't have the same respect for women as white men do. It's likely because of Islam.

    • nataliemaharani

      You are wrong. Islam respects women. Don't confuse Islam with Arabs. They have a primitive desert culture that remains…

      And what kind of Indonesian men are you talking about ?? from the low class society in Jakarta ?? compare that with low class white thrash in major US or European cities and you won't see the difference.

      My husband is an educated, respectful and responsible Indonesian man, also my father and brothers.

      Most Indonesian educated men are respectful toward women, they are also more financially responsible and respectful toward older person & their parents compared to white men.

      Indonesian men are taught from child that they are not only responsible for their family but also their parents and younger siblings. And no we don't have a good insurance and social security system like in western countries, so Indonesian men have to work very hard to afford it.

    • Robpetc

      Another shallow. LOL Go back to school or read some books!!! LOL I suggest you to read some of Karen Armstrong's books.

    • anja

      Narrow minded!

  • opulcucoq

    my being a “westerner” Australian guy i love indo girls, there beautiful full lips and wonderful big dark eyes and amazing think dark hair… and the bronzy skin mmmmm so nice.. they may not be as tall as other girls but they make up for that with the way they talk to you, they make you fell a million $ and the why they look after you.. i never feel hungry or sick. money is no problem i can give her my bank card and she is more likely to save money or add money to my acct than spend it.. her family is so friendly and the people in her city are or friendly… she is from Bandung.
    but i cant say the same for MOST girls from Jakarta… im not saying ALL girls but most altho they look great sexy and all that they can be very money oriented and very bitchy but i have meet one javanese girl that was nice…. lol but only one…

    • diego

      Unfotunatly I met one indonesian women from java particularly bichy and very sneaky.

  • josepe

    When I am in Indonesia I am handsome. In my own country no women cares to look at me
    The same indonesian men like some ugly western girl just because of their fair skin and blondie hair

    Anyway, I´ve been married to a dark skin big teeth indonesian woman for 15 years and maybe for some indonesians sjhe´s ugly, but for me, she is still a queen.

  • aki

    Hey Quang, your comment is sooo offensive, you narrow minded man, i bet u r frigid

  • aki

    Hi Rhea, please dont only think that way.. indonesian bwomen are unfamiliar with the romantic treatment given by westerners, so, maybe that's why she was easily hooked by ur man

  • everything has its own beauty but beauty isn't everything (like i thought)

  • Ann_Indo

    nice discussion..!!..i m indonesian…bule or not..i prefer man who care of me..so much…thats..all

  • jonna

    Ive recently met a girl from jakarta on the internet by accident.I thought she was someone else,but we emailed each other for a couple of hours and i must admit,im kind of smitten already.she made some very nice gestures which made me wish it was easy to fly from england to indonesia.If it was so simple,id be on my way.I cant comment on the way of indonesian women,but based on what ive found with trina,i would love to go there.She has been online again today briefly and not spoke,so im assuming at this point that she was just in a hurry.I really hope she keeps in touch.Having seen some profile pictures of the girl,i must say that i would love to see her fo real and will do my utmost to keep in touch with the aim of flying out there sometime soon to meet her.AS FRIENDS only.

    I think Indonesia is a beautiful country and think ALL men and women that marry should equally respect each other !!

  • someyoungguy

    I'm an American man who married an Indonesian woman. I have to say, I thought I was alone with some of the differences between my wife and I. To me and many other men in the US, she is very beautiful. In public she has a sweet soft gentle personality. When it’s just her and I, things are much different. Controlling, penny wise and pound foolish, insists on controlling the finances and many other aspects in our relationship. I have to beg for 5 dollars before I go out to work in the morning. She herself won’t buy herself a pair of socks without calling me on the phone at work to ask my permission. On the other hand, Absolutely 100% trustworthy.

    I was 36 when I married her. Before her, There was not one women I could trust with all domestic aspects like I can my wife. They were all cheating, money grubbing selfish gimmie gimmie I want I want. I would come in the house after splitting wood for 3 hours on a Saturday morning only to be complained to about forgetting to put my coffee cup in the dishwasher before I went out. My current wife would be insulted if I took care of my own dishes.

    • Daniel

      When I was Indonesia for a year. I got laid a lot. I’m a brown-skinned Mexican-American that was as dark as the Indonesian’s. I had absolutely no problem getting laid. The Indo girls seemed to like the fact that I was American. Liked the fact that I had money and said American guys were much more romantic than the Indo guys. I was dating a single rich girl and a single mom with kids. None of the Indo girls could understand how a poor girl could compare to a rich girl, but as an American, I didn’t care. It was all about the quality of the lay…

      • Lunna


        • Thomas

          Yes sir that is the Indonesia I know and still live in. Yup! Daniel
          By the wway did u run into Siti Rodiah and her sister Komo. She also uses the name Diah and Diah Manizz. Of course by now she has a few more I have not discovered. Just curious as she favors the rich westerner or australian. She loves money more than herself

  • someyoungguy

    I'm an American man who married an Indonesian woman. I have to say, I thought I was alone with some of the differences between my wife and I. To me and many other men in the US, she is very beautiful. In public she has a sweet soft gentle personality. When it’s just her and I, things are much different. Controlling, penny wise and pound foolish, insists on controlling the finances and many other aspects in our relationship. I have to beg for 5 dollars before I go out to work in the morning. She herself won’t buy herself a pair of socks without calling me on the phone at work to ask my permission. On the other hand, Absolutely 100% trustworthy.

    I was 36 when I married her. Before her, There was not one women I could trust with all domestic aspects like I can my wife. They were all cheating, money grubbing selfish gimmie gimmie I want I want. I would come in the house after splitting wood for 3 hours on a Saturday morning only to be complained to about forgetting to put my coffee cup in the dishwasher before I went out. My current wife would be insulted if I took care of my own dishes.

  • Ansella

    My heart suddenly beat faster when I start writing this LOL! I've read all the 106 comments in this topic. I am Indonesian, and I am pure Bataknese. I was born with a yellow skin. Since I was teenager, I have always been attracted to a Bule men, especially their colorful eyes. But I did falling in love with Indonesian men too, and most of them were the one with fair skin.
    I believe Brandon -which happened to have experience lived 7 years in Indonesia might have known the culture of Bataknese. In Bataknese, men are kings, and women are the king's assistance. A conventional Bataknese is racist; thinks that their race is better than any other race in Indonesia. I am forbidden to marry other than a Bataknese men, which I have never been succeeded building a relationship with one.
    And when I turn older, I am now 30 yo, I started getting so much pressure on why I still alone. My dad told me, “When you are 30 yo and above, men will not like you anymore cos they will find younger girls.” But with so much pressure, I still have to marry a Bataknese, other race will not be considered at all in my parent's sight.
    And this is difficult for me. I am not as fair as most Indonesian pretty girl/woman standard is. But, if I want to fulfill my dream in marrying a Bule, I am not as tan/dark as most Indonesian pretty girl/woman in Bule's standard X(
    But then another stronger problem has emerged since 2006. I have faced the reality that most Bataknese and Indonesian men would turn me out just because I wasn't a virgin (I slept with only 1 man whom I loved so much -and I regretted it).
    That's why the will to marry a westerner growing bigger inside me each day, not because they can offered me money (I have a job, I am well-educated), but because I know exactly how open-minded a westerner can be in a subject of virginity, and how they will love and accept us just the way we are.
    Nowadays, I do not envy those girls with fairer skin, I envy those with darker skin :p

    • Ms05176

      Hi Ansella,
      if you still looking for a western buy…. pls let me know…

    • lolli

      you are nice and honest women…dont worry…you will get ur  western soulmate…dont envy to anyone…just be yourself and grateful for that…cheers girl.. 😀

  • Sh3ndy

    Anti NEZ for your records, I'm chinese-indonesian woman, was an overseas uni student, currently working in finance for government here and hell no, I didn't marry my husband for the sake of getting a job and living abroad. I met my husband here in Sydney when I was studying and we were dating for 4 years before we finally married for nearly 5 years now. And, he's my first and last BF-now husband. We love each other to death and I'm a very independent woman and hate to hear your sick comments. Please think carefully before you speak.

    • msw

      i from bali….i agree with you……

  • Diana

    I'm Indonesian married to American and I'm not a mail bride order or a maid. Luckily I don't look like Indonesian but I'm proud being Indonesian. I met my American husband here in the State year of 2000 and been married for 6yrs now.

  • Gaztopia

    All that needs to or can said,has been.
    i'm a 37 yr old english guy with a basic security job,little money,no real family to speak of,standard high school education. i'm involved with a 27 yr wolio woman from south east sulawesi.

    The woman in question knows my past and present. i have never felt so trusting or trusted. yes,the usual comments by various indo men were made, but she held her own and i bit my tongue.
    her family give me so much respect(and damn good home cooking,i might add) i'm no oil painting but to feel the way i do now because of this woman i met, well, you do the math.
    she's dark, i'm a milk bottle, but i will never back down or lose my cool when hearing such offensive comments again. indo men will see things from a different angle, as will the bule, but if u have the drive to get through it all, good for you .
    now, i'm back in sulawesi in september to eat my girlfriends parents out of house and home. her mother seems proud of my love for indo food ,dad,because i feel so at ease in their home and get to eat in the kitchen as one of the family(i'm not a guest anymore,i'm told)

    no doubt, i will get annoyed by sly comments directed at my amazing and very indah istri, but she can kick ass as much as i can. i pity the next taxi driver or 10 to when making such abusive comments when we meet up at kendari airport. remeber guys, indo or bule, hell have no fury 😀

    so., dadah

  • rrrrr

    I agree with you. Here in the US Indonesian women are very calculating and,cunning, focused on money and bichy as well.

  • Szwedr

    I agree with the opinion of Bernard, a Duch man from Netherland . I am American. Here in the US Indonesian women are well known for being bitchy and materialistic as well. I have a very bad experience with meeting of Indonesian women. They do not have any moral restrictions, insidious cunning and greedy.

    • Robpetc

      Here in Indonesia yankees men are well known as shallow.

    • Anja

      Dont make generalization only based your experiences.

  • Rjac1947

    To all of you that have lived in Indonesia or have visited there a long time I would like to ask a question in regards to race. I've seen postings in a dating site where Indonesian women request that no African or black men pursue them or leave messages. Please tell me what's going on with this. Is it racism or some cultural quirk I haven't become aware of. I'm trying find out all I can about this beautiful country before I visit. I'm american and am mixed with native american, european, and african. There's not toomuch I cant handle when it come to races. Please help me get past this with any experiences you may of had. Thank you very much.

  • ein stolzer Indo

    Here “Londo” aka Dutch men are well known as Bi. Love to do sodomi. Even my granpa said German was thousand times better. And he compared what Dutch did here worst than Nazi. At least Hitler helps us by sent Kriegmarines to kick your orange ass. Did you know that Nazi graveyard are treat better than Dutch here? lol

  • Anti Chink

    Are you blind or gay? LOL Or a frigid maybe? ROFL

  • Robpetc

    Racism is the same around the globe,pal. But what happened here more to “behaviour”. What Chinks did here too aroggant for Indonesians. They (chinks) acts & keep a mind like in colonial time,where they're 2nd class and Indonesians were 3rd class. In fact we own our land and they're just immigrant here. It's so weird if they still act like a master in our land. That's why it was so irritating and then it just happened. LOL

  • Robpetc

    You interested to have Indo? 🙂

  • Paul74

    Hi Everyone,I stumbled on this site after meeting a girl from Jakarta and thought to do some light research.At the moment we are friends but definitely want to take it further in the future.
    Can anyone give me some advise or information about Jakarta women?

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Yes read the post here on this site. Google dating Indonesian women and you will find all the horror stories of men who have gotten involved with these women. Listen and read and remember these horror stories.

  • Dcborn

    High rise, I don't think you got it wrong. I noticed the same thing on TV as well. I'm an American too and have brown skin and was fascinated by the dynamics of race in Indonesia too. It's sad to say but they put the white skin on a pedestal. My skin color was the same as the Indonesians. I didn't have any problems there at all, I think because of money, but my black friends could not make the hook up. One of the brothers was even refused at a whore-house.

  • Well said, Aulia. 🙂

  • It's very interesting topic. It reminds me of my own point of view to be beautiful. Back to 10-15 years ago in Bandung, as an Indonesian woman I would be afraid to be under the sun because I didn't want my brown skin becoming darker. The stereotype of having light skin is much prettier was somehow stacked in my mid, and for sure always looked very good with fancy cloth and shoes when I went out was the most important thing. I always considered what other people would think about my appearance. However, things were changed. By having worked and studied in Europe, and now even get a permanent residence in one of western European country without getting married or having relation with any “bule”, are really open my mind and perspective of beauty. Beauty is not from the skin color or how you look in front of other people, but beauty is more reflection of your personality and how you behave and respect other people. So again..beauty is relative and being brown or darker doesn't mean ugly 🙂

  • Geekguys

    I also found that many of the women have herpes .. so I suggest they take herpules an all natural treatment tha stops herpes fast, Herpules 4 herpes !

  • happy

    I’m Indonesian engaged to an American guy and planning to get married in March 2011. Is there anyone can tell me what should I prepare for the marriage since I have no idea what to do and where to start? And also about the visa if I decide to live with him in his country. I really need some helps.

    • coconutman

      First off, where are you now, if you are in his country then his family should help you arrange for the ceremony and any other functions you wish to have. Now if in Indonesia I will only guess that your family will assist and guide you. And as far as living in America, you should consider just a short (1-2 months) visit before staying long term. This country, my birthplace and home, is not of the great stature of years past and may be in decline.If you can, live in Indonesia, it is better for both of you and any children you may have. America is overated nowadays.

    • Indian

      well u should be alive to the possibility / uncertainity of being dumped high and dry ..atleast have a contigency plan in place ( i know the boy is good and nice) !! do u have a support system in us…will u be able to return back to indonesia to resume ur life … these issues are more important that that of visa etc… which are at best operational questions.. wish u all the best. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best… is a wise english proverb..

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Most asians are not happy with leaving their country. Americans are not a close family culture as u are accustomed to in Indonesia…Marry him and love him but stay where u are…I am sure he is good but believe me, having gone thru this before, you will not be happy in America.

  • Reeree2009

    Hello im Reeza a young indonesian woman…..ive been in a serious relationship with a man frm UK….he was so nice to me….but basically i cant fulfill his needs in sex, as im not a sexual active i can say….i mean i appreciate a sex only after marriage….and he could never accept tht i think….one day he got accident very badly and the doctor said he would never walk normally again as before….i said i still love him and wanna be with him always but this condition of me (who cant accept sex before marriage) seems became a reason for him to dump me……why this kind of culture always be with most men in western? why the love tht i gave to him was not enough for him? is it really true tht without sex before marriage a relationship between a white man an Indo type like me won’t work out?
    just wondering if some white men out there could answer this……

    • indian

      Reeza, well its question of different cultures … and also a bit to do with the male psyche. pre marital sex which is quite a taboo in eastern cultures unlike in the west. I know lot of western families where the couple has been married for 2 years and have children aged 6 and 8 years..now this may sound like a thunderclap to u .. but its ok there.. just a question of the norms of the culture.

      with due apologies, dumping and hooking on is acceptable in the western societies unlike the asian socities where marriage still has some sanctity left. Woman tend to bear more suffering in asian socities before dumping men ( which is a very hard option still).

      its not mandatory for pre marital sex to happen to fructify a relation between western man and indo woman.. but its not big deal for the western man as it is for a indo woman.. just my 2 cents..

    • Thomasmartin2004

      I have waited so long for a woman like u to come along. I had the same experience with my indonesian love. I could not fulfill her needs as she was too sexually active with more men than just me….U sound like a wholesome woman one that one could trust and love and receive love in return.. After 5 years with Siti Rodiah, I had enuf and got rid of this Pelecur. I believe that is the correct wording in Indonesian. Anyways, if u are still looking send a reply thomasmartin2004@yahoo.com

  • Lmgoode64

    My husband traveled to Indonesia on business. A few months later I found out he was communicating with a young 26 year old from there on yahoo. He is 39. I was devastated!!!! He said it was about the conversation and she made him feel important. That to me is a red flag for getting green card. She believed him when he said his wedding ring was from his grandfather. I feel she knew, but still persued him anyway. Even when he broke it off with her she wanted to communicate because she already love him. Wow! They only saw each other for a week and the love is that strong. We have been together for nine years and now such a deep love for her. I was sick over it!!! We are working on our relationship now and trying to make it work. All woman need to be aware of these woman working on our husbands when they travel. Never be to trustworthy like I was. I never thought it would happen to me. Keep your eyes open at all times!!!

    • Indian

      i am an indian man 30 years old.. my analysis of indonesian woman ( i know atleast 3)… all married… unhappy in their marriage.. dominated totally by husbands. one of them tells me that its fashionable to have an ‘affair ..any girl not having an affair is considered backward, outdated !!
      ‘. the husband of one of the woman takes all her money ( uses it for household expenses, sons education fees, petrol for car etc.. ) and uses his money to build assets in his name ! highly frustrated with her husband…sexual abuse within marriage. pretty grim stuff and both are in high paying executive level jobs.

      I tend to agree with one of the posters who made a list of girls ( how easily are they available) to foreigners.. indians girls tend to go for Indians settled in US, Europe etc rather than white boys.. they consider indian boys in these countries to be rich, educated and more dependable than white boys. plus they can track the boy with his family etc which is in india. Indian girls are quite wary of white men as far as a serious relationship is concerned. Indian girls born and brought up overseas tend to equally split between indian boys settled overseas and white boys.

      However, i deplore use of words like prostitutes for woman .. its easy for men to paint with this brush… and get away with it.

      • indian

        i meant , i agree with positioning of indians girls in that list.. cant say abt others..

    • Thomasmartin2004

      My experience exactly. The woman I met Siti Rodiah of Pamulang told me she loved me after 10 days….That is quick because love does not develop that fast…Well I fell for that and 5 years later I find out she has a line up of men in que she keeps in the back ground just in case she needs one. Even thought we were not married, there is no such thing of fidelity in this woman or any woman. Too bad everywhere i go now in Indonesia, I always see a Siti Rodiah hanging around to pick up another Bule for her personal pleasure and Financial support.

  • Paulus Lo

    I’ve been living in Germany for almost 10 years,,,,, I realized that western men who dating indonesian girls or Asian girls are mostly from low classes..mostly they are workers (Arbeiter), Jobless, or retired, and ugly…yes i say ugly from western perspective…..and it is not rare that the Asian girls who follow their German husband and stay in Germany are treated badly here,,,some was sent to prostitution, some got bullied from her husband and especially they are not welcomed well here in Germany…We (Asian people) in my opinion, consume a lot of western movies and cultures generally. Who said western men are romantic?, based on experience or movie??????. Those girls who treated badly will never revealed the true story because they are shame…..So therefore I encourage indonesian girls not to married western men, especially German men…and if it is fate to married them then please stay at your country….Thanks… this is my opinion while I am living in Germany…..maybe it is different in other west countries…I don’t know…..

  • awcmon

    Beauty is not so relative;
    No class and bad taste is.

  • this is very interesting article.. as an indonesian woman i appreciate with the way foreigner thinking about us. yes sure mostly indonesian guy think the fair skin best skin color woman. the more a girl has light skin the more they have attention from local guy. but i have different thought.. well i come from central Java, my genetic is have golden skin.. and im not trying hard to change it. mostly indonesian guy have shallow perspective about beauty..

    now im dating foreigner, he is my first “bule” (foreigner) i ever date. in the beginning ,, when i walk with him i feel like everybody is looking at me especially people with low educated.. maybe they think i am “ayam” – another name of prostitute or paid girl friend. but i took time until i got my confidence. i think i wont care what people think about me, im not “ayam” my boyfriend know me so well, also my friends, my family..

    • Linabie

      i agree w u dear, i have a boyfriend from dubai now, same with u he is my first foreigner too, original he is india guy, not a big problem for us while we are walking together for dinner or go to cinema, because his skin is similar with me. He is really love me and my boy too..so for me its not important what kind the colour of ur skin, the important is what is inside of ur heart..and proof to everybody that we are not “ayam”, as we are an educated woman. We have a standard level of our life. and same with you my family nad my friends support me too for this relationship..

    • Thomasmartin2004

      good for u Arthanti…..Unfortunately the opposite has been my experience….Wished I could have met a woman like u….Said as it is, my remembrance is about my love there who always had another man in her life…..

  • Thanks for the many thoughts share here regarding the conversation! It is so interesting to know that no matter where people live in the world or no matter what the culture, there are certain human behaviors that exist.

    It still goes back to the original thoughts written thousands of years ago, “Man looks on the outer appearance, but God looks upon the heart.” The behaviors of mankind exist just as it did in the beginning.

    Because man knows this fact, they dress to impress in the court room, in the business office place, etc. By now, we must know looks can be deceiving which leads me back to the original conversation right here. It may be a cliche, but what matters most is the heart.

    You can be the most attractive looking person in the country, world, local community, or anywhere and be nasty on the inside, be selfish period, be many undesirable characteristics a human can have. Sorry, I would rather choose a decent looking person with a great big warm heart any day of the week.

    Unfortunately, others will always have something to say about Interracial relationships, no matter what. You can’t control what others think or say, but you can control how to respond to them. You can control whether you choose to allow them to make you upset or not. Study and apply teachings written and taught by Stephen Covey “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”

    You will learn how to have mastery of self and be un-effected by ignorance outside of you and more discipline within and to build deeper relationships around you. Today, more than ever, it’s IMPORTANT to develop these principles!

    I’m looking forward to traveling to Indonesia! I’m not going there to deliberately find a wife, no I’m not. But I would not rule it out as a possibility (smile). I love all types of women and people generally speaking. I think its just important for any prospective spouses to look deep into the heart of the person. Go beyond the looks, the money, the educational status, etc. Get into the person’s philosophy, those core values.

    Lastly, know more about where a person comes from. Who are the family, friends, etc.? If it’s a interracial situation, will the parents give there blessing in the marriage? What do other family members and friends really think about it? How much of an influence will they have over the relationship? Will they be supportive during challenging times positively or offer negative divisive seeds to the relationship?

    • Lunna

      Well-said Paul!!!

  • Lunna1979

    I am an Indonesian woman who just got married to a great man who is an American. I love him and I know he loves me as much. We’d been dating for like 1.5 years on yahoo and skype before we got married as we met on a dating site. He flew all the way to meet me and we got married. He just stayed for 3 weeks and he had to fly back to the States as he also needs to take care of the documents for me to come there (which probably needs more than 6 months). My husband and I know that what we have is real and we have shown to this world full of shits that love conquers everything. If I had to choose the place where I want to settle down and have my own family, it would be Indonesia. So I can always feel close to my big family. But since he’s my husband which I always respect and cherish and also according to what I believe, Islam…I must go wherever my husband will take me and that I can’t live far from him. My husband and I are not rich people but we are happy with what we have now. For us, happiness can never be bought by money and that we can always look for money. I love my husband no matter what people say nor think about us, here in my country or there in his country. God bless you all…:)

    • Centil_butterfly

      hi lunna may i know what paper that ur hubby have to submit for marriage wth you in indonesia ? bcoz i have bf also from usa and we plan to marry in indonesia.thanks

      • Lunna1979

        if possible, you need to marry here Indonesia dear, ask your boyfriend to get a marriage permiit letter from US Embassy then get married. After you husband gets the marriage ceritificate and he goes back to the States, ask him to petition you to USCIS. or you can just visit the website of USCIS. Hope all works well for you both 🙂

    • Capi10cook

      sure lunna1979. btw a muslim women technically is not married with a non muslim man. so don’t boast about ‘my islam’

      • Lunna1979

        whatever!!! my husband is a muslim now dumbass!!! and it’s his own will to convert to Islam…God has shown His way for honest people like me and my husband!!!

        • Carolbriceno2007

          Good job Lunna!!!

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Glad u r happy with this man…After infidelities with 2 christian women, I went to Indonesia to find a good muslim woman thinking they would be differenct and more trustful..I loved an Indonesian for five years and married her, Unfortunate as it may be she had other men in her life. So I have found no difference between Indonesian women and christian women.

      • Indonesian Food lover

        Sorry Thomas, but NOT all Indonesian women are moeslem and true christian women and moeslem women are LOYAL to their husbands/ partners. Sorry for what happened to you, buy Please don’t generalise them!

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Forgot to add in my last post. The lady’s name was Siti Rodiah from Pamulang. Now living with someone else, in BSD Baten Tangerang, 2 weeks after I divorced her for infidelities. Found out later she had multiple websites with multiple men she was corresponding with. Also 20 different email addresses. She uses the following names: Diah Manizz, Siti Rodiah, Rhea Maniz, Rhea Manizz, Diah Manizz79 and the list goes on. My advice stay away from these women. It is all about money and supporting their families forever.

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Received email from my past love and she complained that we were never married..Well in the West when u live with someone for five years they are considered legally married. So let me rephrase it. I guess in the Muslim world that does not mean anything. So, we co-habitated together(Lived together) for five years where I supported her and her family. When I learned of her other men in her life, her multiple lies, and other things which I will not mention at this time, I threw her out when visiting me in Turkey…

      So then she takes all the money in the bank account which we were saving for OUR future to buy a house…Then she takes the car and all the furniture plus the home we rented paid advance for two years. When I ask about getting my assets back she then justifies it by saying I gave it to her….Then after only 3 weeks after I threw her out..now she co habitates with another guy. Sorry for the slight misstatement. In the west, there would be a regular divorce proceeding after living together for 6 months or more with a 50-50 split of the assets….So in Indonesia the women there are only after your money for their security….. take the money away like I did and they instantly fall back on their private line up of other hopefuls so that they can secure their future. Then after only two months of being with him she tells me that she has found someone for her life….Now tell me indo girls ..love does not die that quickly unless of course your are just using the guy.. Sorry my ex love….But now I have rephrased it as u wished.

      • Isa Zahidi

        what a sad experience you had. i think you just unlucky involved with the wrong women. be patience..live goes on

      • Bonnie

        awwww…..Thomas, I am so sorry to hear that. I really don’t know why western Men like dating bad Indonesian girls (physically or morallysorry to say western men like ugly Indonesian, for normal Indonesians those girls are considered ugly)…I have heard all bad things about them. Normally, good Indonesians girls don’t hang out in bars, they won’t have sex before marriage,not materialistic,and educated women (normally, they are not moslems). Next time, if you find one of those indications just stay away from those women. I hope you can find a better future. Don’t let women fool you. I am an Indonesian so I know their hidden agendas.I’ve heard a lot about their wicked dispositions,one time, i really want to kick a girl who is cheating on her fiancee with another western guy. Her fiancee is a very good person (or too stupid to realize), but it’s not my portion to judge. So anyway, If you still have a chance to meet Indonesian girls just make sure they are not b****.Let those things become your lesson of life. I wish you a happy life….GBU

        • dc

          Sorry to hear that, in the future better don´t share your luck with them. besides, not all the moslems like that..

    • Thomasmartin2004

      hey lunna
      I know who u are and respect that but to marry a guy over the internet…That shows me how desparate u really were for a man…Hope it works…

    • Thomasmartin2004

      I recently wrote an email to my previous love telling her that all between us was my fault because I allowed her to use me and draw me into her world of sex, lies and multiple boy friends..So this is a remembrance of the account of how we met earlier and how I should have been stronger to resist her…I met Siti at the LeMeridien hotel in Jakarta Indonesia. I had business there for a long period of time.. I had just taken time off from my main business to focus on opening a consulting practice…that now spans the world….

      When I met Siti Rodiah she came into the Meridien and by chance we made eye contact as I was leaving for a brief meeting…when I returned i saw her sitting in the lounge….We once again made eye contact so I approach her and ask if we knew each other and she reponded by saying “I want you”.

      That is when I knew she was a prostitute…So during my time there, of course, we became quite acquainted with each other. I made the mistake of falling in love with the lady of the night.

      She told me that her husband had left her when she was 6 months pregnant at 18 years of age. So meeting her when she was 26, of course I was moved by that story which, at the time, I thought was true…Never thought at the time that this woman had been a professional prostitute for 8 years selling herself for $60 a night.

      But, then I made the biggest mistake, bought her a car, bought her a motorcycle and provided her a home for her and her family could live in. Over a period of 5 years I must have spent over $120,000 USD supporting her family…Taking care of her, her mom, and son who I just adore, I consider part of my responsibility.. then later I find out she hires her brother Iwan, for 1.3 million, to drive for her because she is afraid to drive and he had lost his job.

      then I gave her 10,000 USD to open a shop which eventually failed…

      then she gave the motorcycle away to Iwan because he became drunk one evening, wrecked his bike, and broke his arm. As a result, he looses his job and ends up on my payroll..

      Later I found the internet site explaining the real nature of indonesian women. These were stories of the Indo girls and their only goal was to drain the Bule dry financially..Other stories covered the signs to look for if your lady was professional girl friend or really loved u.. Well of course all the signs were there that is when I suspected I was just part of her professional trade so she could make a living… Well that is all for now more to come about the trips I paid for for her when I was working in other countries making a living and other good stories

      • Kecastermans

        Very sad story to hear. I understand how angry you are after what you experienced, 5 years and that amount of money. But unfortunately I can’t agree with what you said about christian/muslim women, Indo or non Indo women. I don’t think it’s wise to judge someone based on religion/race.
        Not blaming you that you fell in love with what we call “ayam”, but come on, didn’t you see what you were putting your self in?

        And yes we do have classy independent ladies too in Indonesia.

        It’s funny that once I took care of an American dude who didn’t have any social skills, couldn’t find a job, my family and I let him stay at our house for free, we actually spoiled him.
        In relationship for about 4,5 years. But I realized I couldn’t marry this guy, he was basically useless and can’t live with just love, am I right?
        But I didn’t regret anything from that funny experience, I took the bright side. I learned a lot.

        Now I’m happily married a bule guy, we take care of eachother. I work in a nice office while pursuing my master degree and he is a great chef in a big hotel.

        Why don’t you find a well educated woman and see the difference?
        oh before that, let me tell you something too. Not all highly educated people are actually educated.
        As it says, many are schooled but few are educated.
        So stop putting yourself into trouble (throwing yourself to….) and then saying about muslim women are… christian women are….
        I hope you are well by now, healed.

        • Thomasmartin2004

          thanks for the comments and thoughts…I am over this lady..I did not tell my story out of anger but only in interest of hoping others can benefit from my experience. As you in your situation, I have learned a lot from loving this woman. Before I had two educated ladies, master degrees and university professors studying for their doctorates. Had the same experience with these as well. I hope u are correct in what you say…Good for you that all worked out for you in the end.

          My basic nature is too forgive a person where they have been and what they have been and trust in them in the future. I try to care only where they want to go and where they really want to go and be in their future life.. I beleive that is what both chrisians and muslims practice or should practice. Both perhaps that is my erroneous belief ! Thanks for your thoughts..

          • Siti Meiyana Arafah

            reading all your story and statement one by one very interesting and show you as open person and willing to share your experiences even its hurt and pain you. anyway life must go on…believe me someday somehow you will find the good lady who can accept and deserve you very well.

            Again…relationship will works depend from both people and how we can communicate everything as well. Also how we make commitment since 1st. Respect each other very important…

          • Kecastermans

            I’m glad to hear that you’re over it.

            It’s funny. You sounded very nice by saying “I try to care only where they want to go and where they really want to go and be in their future life”. I have a family friend who is a native Indonesian, came to Jakarta from Wonosobo. Worked for a bule guy and ended marrying him. She is such a great woman. Devoted wife and mother. Unfortunately, her husband is such a douche bag.

            Would be nice to see a decent man meets a decent woman. Happy ending….

          • Carolbriceno2007

            yes I agree with you, not all indonesian women are bad…there are good and bad women and men in this whole wide world…(^.^)

          • thanks Carol…I am agree with you…

        • Thomasmartin2004

          you raise good points but I believe classy ladies can be found up and down the social scale…Not necessarily educated but are just a wholesome woman. I dont care what a woman has done in the past coz I ten to believe is what that person wants to be in the future that counts. Now I only look for the wholesome lady. They are hard to come by but now after my experience with Siti Rodiah I am determined to find her. Thanks Kecastermans

      • Ashiq_ae

        Dont give them money again they are cheater and most of they are prostitiute most of them. And they will black mail saying like she is pregnent……………………

        • Carolbriceno2007

          you better shut the fuck up!!! what an ignorance…you must have met bad women in clubs, you were so at the right place to find women!!! idiot!!!

          • Ekin

             Not all Indonesian women like what you said. Many are good and has strong character.

        • Ekin

            Not all Indonesian women like what you said. Many are good and has strong character.

      • Akucintamakanan Indonesia

        I’m sorry to read that Thomas. But, I’m also really sad to hear that many western people have negative thoughts about Indonesian women as ‘gold diggers’. I know many Indonesian women who don’t have good formal education because no opportunities, but still they are really good persons and trustworthy+they can cook yummy Indonesian food 🙂

        My suggestion to all western men, especially those who wannabe with Indonesian women is better to get to know the women’s characters and their background deeply first before any kind of love relationship. Also, for western men (who want to marry Indonesian women) who are quite afraid for their money, maybe they’d better make a prenuptial agreement.

        For Thomas, I hope you will soon get a good woman for you. 🙂

        I really hope later no more negative issue about this, but more positive issues about Indonesia, like its yummy food 😀

        Regards to all 🙂 ,

        I’m an Indonesian woman living in ada deh 🙂 in western country

      • Frida

        Dear Thomas,

        I would like to say that not all women we meet in the bars or clubs or other entertainment sectors are like that. I know people (friends) who met their husbands in the bars and I also have friends who met their wives in the bars but they are all okay and happy till now. They all met the love of their lives in the bars as they went there for spending times (good intention-morally on track) with friends. Also just like people who live in the city, what kind of place that you have to rest yourself for a while over the weekend after your dizziness-craziness working week? I am trying to say that good people and bad people are everywhere. We never know. It just needs time to find the real one for our hearts. It’s all coming back to the quality of the person itself. Wherever and whenever you meet them/her, if they have good values and quality within, it will be proven at the end along with the hands of time. Quality proven, purely for love or material. And it takes time to see those values to be seen. You can not see those values just in a day or night. Takes time and process.

        Again, with all respect to what had happened to you, I dont intend to teach you or something like that. Be strong, let go of it and move on with the new chapter in your life. It’s not your obligation to change her or give her lesson and be responsible for what she had done to you. Reach out the essence of the lesson, correct yourself (human are not perfect, we are very close to mistakes), and move on! The universe will deliver the lesson to her with its own way.  Keep telling and writing about stuffs here will only grow sinically comments on you.  Law of the nature exists! I am trying to say stop hurting yourself by
        recalling the pains and the bad memories of her here. She will get her
        own time and lesson. Cause and result. Good hearted people will always end good in victory and happiness though it takes hard and rocky roads sometimes. We, all, will have our own return to each thing we have done in our lives, we have done it good or wrong, we all will have the return. What comes around goes around. Power of the nature!

        Peace and be healed soon^_^


      • flower of java

        sorry for hear that thomas… 🙁 u got a wrong woman. i’m javanesse girl and my fiancee is from france..in the beginning, we had commitment to share financial. i shared my income and he also did. Since we’re together, he never bought me a car, home, motorcycle etc. and i never and didn’t want to ask him for buying for me because i’m proud to my self if i can buy with my money. and now, we have been together for 7 years. The point is, firstly,  u must know the charateristic of each indonesian woman before u decide to make relationship with her, u must know her family (materialistic or not), and bla-bla-bla. but generally, i agree with u about indo girls,sometimes their only goal was to drain the Bule dry financially (because this happen to my friend). after she drop down his money, they left her husband (western man) 🙁 .

        • Englishman

          Just try not to get too involved with Sunda Girls or Padang, There Family will dry your wallet up within months. I prefer Chinese women more, Independent, Straight forward, good ethical manners. I find Sunda Girls the most prettiest of them all but also the biggest cheaters too.

          • Englishman

            Sunda and Menado girls are well known as materialistic girls in general and this is especially true for most but obviously not all. Finding a good Sunda girl from a good family background is not easy task. Bandung and Jakarta girls in general are materialistic being big city girls. So one should tread lightly when they claim your handsome and sexy. These compliments tend to disarm the bule and these girls are trained well. Java Girls are pretty good as wifes. I find a lot of Medan Girls very sexy but question there ethics at times. One must realise Indonesia is 3rd world and girls here are more money oriented for security reasons. Just find a independent girl who works and values family life. Avoid Alcoholic type girls as they can be pretty wild and have fucked around with a large number of men.

          • thomas

            well said flower of java and englishman

    • Thomasmartin2004

      every time I read your comment U sound like the Siti Rodiah I knew..just want to find a husband to take care of u….

    • Sin247365

      I am a Christian. But I identify with exactly what you are saying. I am American and am dating a Javanese woman. Prayer and God have brought us together and I plan to visit her there and then marry and file the paper work to bring her to my home in america. It is difficult, many people do not understan or accept this. And because they find it odd they do not like it. I am worried that she will not like it here and will not be happy so far from her family and people. But we continue to pray. I am not a rich man. I am actually quite poor by standards here. And I have two sons age 7&4. That makes it even more difficult. They can’t meet her because they can not travel out of the country. And I learne the hard way that asking a Javanese woman to visit the man’s country before marriage is very bad thing to do!!!

      God bless you super superabundantly.

      • Lunna1979

        Hi Sin247365, We have many differences of culture between your country and mine. Being born as a Javanese, we have a strict tradition which free sex is a taboo thing and it has nothing to do which religion. I broke my family tradition by marrying my husband who isn’t a Javanese. We were raised by a thought that virginity is something important that is only presented to our first and hopefully last husband. If a Javanese woman lives together with her man without getting married, she and her family will be put a label by the neighborhood as a bad example. Some people in my country are idiots but so are there in the States, I had a fight once with my husband’s cousin as he accused me for being a scammer and that I was only after my husband’s money, that really hurt me. My husband is just a federal employee and I love him for the man he is, I am a hard-working woman and I have a good job here. In fact I dumped my Australian ex bf who was richer than my husband as he owns 5 business all over Asia and never once I asked him to send me any money. But all my experinces in life have brought me to the woman I am, that I don’t care about what others say or think about my life. God bless you, dont worry to much, if there’s a will, there’s a way 😀

    • Mark Deegan

      hi Lunna, I’m a Irish man and like your story i also have met a fantastic girl in Indonesia.We also are planing to get married in Dec2012 in Indonesia. We have met in a chat room, and yes we talk every day for 3hrs on skype and sms.I plan to visit her in June 2012 six mts also before wedding to get pre wedding photos done etc. my question to you is what information should i need to know before i get married. My new wife to be will also be coming back to Ireland to live.We both love each other very much and want everything to work out. We are both cats so religion is that bit easer for us.hope you can help in any way poss. thanks M.

      • Lunna1979

        Oh Hi Mark, nice to meet you here and wish you the best for your marriage plan. My husband is a US citizen so I don’t know the marriage requirements for Irish. But I suggest your wife make a research by calling the civil registry because who knows they will ask for the letter of eligibility of marriage from Ireland embassy or a divorce decree. Since I am married already to a US citizen and according to US immigration law, I am no longer allowed to apply for the tourist visa, but spouse visa which the process takes almost a year and really frustrating. I hope everything will be easier for you and your fiance. Best of luck for you both!!! and yes Indonesian women are the best LOL

    • Sari

      Hi luna, I’m sari, am from sunda n dating with an English man. We met each other when both of us moved to middle east for work. We r planning to get marry buy still confuse to get marry in Indonesia or england, do u where is better for us? Oia, I’m a moslem n he is Christian. We are not rich, just enough. We still looking information bout it n yes our problem also is Visa! It’s easy for me to get tourist visa to england bout very difficult n expensive to get fiancé n wife visa. For fiancé we need to pay bout 1000$ n bout 10,000$ for wife! Huph! Why so difficult just to get married?
      Yep, I have same experience with u bout other people, most of my friends here-Indonesian says that my boyfriend is only want to play with me n some of his friends-British says I just want his money! We tried to explain to them bout us before that he really love me n he just a government officer but then we got tired, whatever they say lha 😉

      • Lunna1979

        Hi Sari, sorry for the late reply…I rarely go to this blog, but I just read your post. If you want to marry your bf in Indo, I dont think you have to pay that much money. I spent 200 bucks to get married in Bali in KUA. So I highly recommend you to go there as they are acapable and so get used to the mix marriage between Indo women and western men. Just ignore what people say and think about your love life ok, it’s your life NOT theirs. They can say what they want as they are dumb, so just better be yourself, be confident and move on with your plan. Godbless!!!

    • herc1976

      Agree with you Lunna1979 but
      what happend if you are from different religions and you have different believe’s?

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        u should be able to answer that one for yourself.  Most of the indo ladies will want u to comvert to islam. For one like me, a christian, i did not.  Took for ever to get government approval.  If u been married before, u will be placed through torture in documenting your past divorce decrees in proving eligibility of marriage plus consent from your government.  U can google it but remember there the laws can change at any time…My suggestion is living a mixed marriage with a muslim …dont do it.  Find someone else to love.  

        • Lunna

          Thomas, you are such a stubbron, grumpy man, I feel sorry for your loss over unfaithfull wife, but not all Indonesian muslim women are like that, I married my husband legally and it only cost us 60 bucks, and some foreigners, they converted to Islam as they found Islam means actually peace. I have some idiotic Christian coworkers who are completely asshole, using their work email to spread hatred over Islam and to discuss religious stuff USING WORK EMAIL, WTF!!!! Dooohhh, you see, Idiots and Ignorants are EVEYWHERE!!!! In any race, sex, and nation!!!!

          • Thomas

            Well thank you luna for your comment. I saw enough of the Muslim in two tours in Iraq and in Afganistan and then the women in Indonesia. That is enough for me. They befriend you then turn against. Yes that is the American soldier experience. Well same thing in Indonesia. You love them and they then they turn against you. Does not matter how good you were to them. Even the family after she lefT for another. Funny, for five years totally supported her, loved our son as the dearest thing in the world. Supported her two brothers and their families coz they could not find work. Even her mom was taken care of. Now I don’t even know where the son is so can’t see him. Grumpy. Well maybe yes. But u have not experienced what I did. Make the walk then I will maybe accept your talk. Oh yes I have read both the Koran and the Christian bible. So don’t accuse me or tell me which religion is more peace. To each their own. Good luck in ur marriage

          • Thomas

            Oh about Christians talking about Muslims. Well I guess 911 has no significance to u. It does to christian America. Go figure Lunna.

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        for to add.  u may have to pay a fee as well.  it is mostly a bribe and can be still your lady does not have any government contacts

      • Lunna1979

        In Indonesia, you are not allowed to marry muslim girls unless you have the same faith with them. My husband was a Catholic before where Jesus is the son of God, or God itself etc. In Islam, we recognize God as one of the prophets before Mohammed that we also respect but not we pray for. We pray to God not to Mohammed, not to the any prophets and no one has ever seen God till they are dead. We also believe that Jesus will be sent by God to kill the demon called dajjal who will be awaken on the judgment to test humans’ faith to follow his way, the demon way. I just explain that to my hubby so he coverted to my faith as he knows that no one alive has ever seen God, not even Mohammed when he was alive. It’s just faith that we have inside our heart.

        • bapakgila

          Lunna, as an expat that worked long term for your government, and also married into a Muslim family, I just have to shed a little light into some of your misconceptions about marriage and religion. Please note, it is legal for a Christian, or any person to marry into a Muslim family without converting. Please note I said legal but not frequently practiced. Meaning, Indonesia, as of this writing, still doesn’t require practicing Muslims to follow Sharia Law. In fact, Sharia Law
          didn’t even come into existence until the 18th century. While Sharia is the Islamic law that is based on the knowledge of the Koran and the traditions of the prophet (Hadith and Sunna), it was the Wahabi’s originally based out of the Arabian Peninsula that created the draconian form many Muslim practice now that stipulates men and women can’t marry out of their faith or face punishment as
          harsh as stoning and decapitation still practiced in many Muslim
          countries. Hence, a Indonesian women can legally marry into a Hindu family or a Christian Church without facing any
          legal repercussions from your legal system. That being said, she will surely be shunned by her family and the local
          Imam in charge. I should note with full disclosure that I also ‘legally’ converted to Islam to appease my ex-wife’s family but like just about all male men that fall in love with Indonesia women, we convert in name only but never actually practice the religion for numerous reasons. Please also note that the Quran has many interpretations
          on the creation, Jesus, and numerous other prophets. You have to remember, Mohammad was illiterate and by some theories, he had as many as 11 scribes copying down the torah scrolls located in medina before the local Jewish priests forbid him from copying down their text anymore. Meaning, this is where much of the Quran’s text/theoriescome from. Like you said Lunna, much of it is based upon faith and of course how you were brought up by your parents, and most importantly, the culture you were raised in that dictates your beliefs, Religion, and value system.

          • Thomas

            Finally someone has stepped forward and made the truth known. How little Muslims understand the history of their own religion and its teachings. When I was married to a Muslim I never converted and happy that I did not. Much of the Koran is based on the old Jewish scrolls which serve as the basis of the early Christian religion. Copying another religions sacred teachings is not inspired revelation from god to man. In the modern sense it is pure plagiarism.

    • Innocent raheel

      He is Muslim by the way or only Islam says goes with your husband who ever he is

  • Demonsawa08

    I am indonesian women…..i wanna say….
    There are many things that can happen to us, but there are only two kinds of reactions, the reaction to rise or fall. … All events are notifications to renew life. So make new thoughts, attitudes, and your actions. Act way that makes you larger than that happen to you. Whatever happens, do not react in a way that reduces your class……

  • Stuartmacaulay1

    I have been dating a lady from jakarta for 6 months. we have once in jakarta for 2 weeks in november. had the best time ever. i couldnt believe how beautiful she was, but so shy and innocent. She is 15 years younger than me. In my country hardly see such age difference. zthe process i went through to be accepted by immediate and extended family was so strang to me, but now all family has accepted me into the family. April 2012 we will marry, but i have 2 visits there to come and for her to holiday here in australia. Would not have missed this experiance for nothing. Now i have a loyal and loving fiancee. All i saw to other men pic cafefully but when u have a good one man its so special. Ive had 5 serious relationships before this one but no one has loved me like this girl.

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Hey mate
      Be careful here…they all are loving and sweet until u marry them..U dont know what you are getting into with these courtesans…Most likely she is after security for her and the family…You will end up supporting her the the entire family: mom, brothers and sisters and dad too. Then all she will do is shop and buy things for her family….take your time and dont be a fool. Siti Rodiah was the same then she turned out to be unfaithful and always spending my money on a lazy family that would not work. Be smart take your time…..figure her out first…Indonesian women are fast to marry….because they all want husbands to take care of them.

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Be sure to read all the advic on this wonderful website…If it is a Siti rodiah Run…read the comment by jasona026. He drew this down from a singapore and indonesia site…He knows siti too….be careful mate…

  • hi, im an indonesian with dark skin too, and proud of it. but i think they also have that stereotype in the states right? blonde hair, tanned skin, skinny girls.. so yeah. so what if we have stereotypes. it’s not the appearance we go for, its the heart.

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Not true Dina…..all one has to do is walk into a nite club or lounge and a white skin bule cant enjoy his drink without being approached by women in a que….They all have the same story.,..my husband left me and I do this because I need to support my children….that is what the white skin bule sees…so if there are any women out there that are not like that they are not very numerous in number

  • Mei

    I’m an Indonesian woman, right now dating a bule guy from Aussie. I’m dark, have big teeth, tho’ my nose is quite pointy, i’m skinny, and i don’t have big breast (like they say, some bule likes indonesian girl with big breast). I’m a single mother of 2 children, and one of them is a special needs, i come from middle class family, and must say very well educated and have a damn very good job.
    I never after bule, heck, i don’t even like bule guys before, I like Asian guys. I’ve been dating a couple asian guys before ( not only indonesian, also indonesian neighbors, malaysia) but i couldnt find what i want in them. They have this narrow minded thing about dating or marrying a divorced woman with 2 kids (i bet on their mind they’d say what will my family and friend think), and hey, I’m not good looking enough or rich enough to be proud of to their family and friends, (don’t forget my special needs son).
    but then i started to know this guy, he is from australia, a bule, i was allured by the way he put on his thought and mind, the way he sees things, and the way he sees the beauty in me (which until now I keep on denying for my lack of security and my opinion how beauty should be) he adores me and think I’m sexy (while my previous bf (asian bf) always complain that i’m too skinny, my skin is too dark and not having quite big breast).
    I’m interested in him because he is smart and not a smart ass (unlike some guys i know), he has 2 kids and i see him as a great dad, he accept my kids ( while others worried about my special needs son), and fyi, he is not rich, so no, i’m not interested in him because of his money.
    sadly say, but what Thang said there is true. Indonesian (men and women) think that woman who is with bule usually have the “maid” look, It happens also among people i know, but for my opinion, they said that cause of jealousy, the woman jealous because a woman with maid look can hooked up with bule (which is usually quite handsome) and the men jealous because they are not as good looking as the bule guys therefore they underestimate their choice of woman.

    • Ladyinwaiting

      Hi Mei, good to hear that there’s a good man (bule or not) who takes care of u and loves you just the way you are 🙂

      I’m an indo chinese woman, i dated for the first time an expat bule guy a couple months ago. He is a good-looking french guy, everybody loves and likes him. I like this guy a lot. When we just started to go out and date, he had just broken up with his ex-gf who is a javanese indo lady with dark skin. She’s educated, has nice job and not a prostitute. I only saw her pic once, but i can’t remember her face, i’m sure she doesn’t have this ‘maid’ look but not pretty either (in my opinion ;p ). But he said that she is very pretty, hot, and sexy, every bule guy wants her. But for indonesian men, they may not see her as the same way as he does. Well as many people say,.. “beauty is on the eye of the beholder”. This bule guy said that he likes me too and he cares about me, he said i’m pretty too but he just broke up with her, so he is confused and still thinks of her many times. And i’m so jealous!! For the first time in my life, i’m jealous with a woman who has dark skin coz she could get his heart. And for the first time i tried to get my skin darker by sunbathing when i went to Bali hehehe

      Anyway, dark skin is good, it’s exotic, u have to be proud with it 😉 all the best for u Mei!

  • Mutiara

    I didn’t see any other folks like me post this, so I guess I may as well put my two cents in…

    I’m the eldest daughter of an American man (or a bule as you call it) and a Javanese woman. My sister and I have always been proud of our dual culture, and thought that it was something to pride ourselves on; we felt confident with our naturally tanned skin and our big, brown eyes. After a while, my parents separated and my father eventually remarried a Sumatran woman. Soon afterwards, we moved to the states. I remember my father being out every morning to go through the arduous process of getting my stepmom’s visa and greencard, and I could only imagine how much he really loved her. I thought that we had a pretty good family dynamic going on. Then my sister and I began taking dance classes at the Indonesian embassy. After our first performance, we were pulled out because of the way the full Indonesians spoke of my father and stepmother, as well as my sister and I. This wasn’t explained to me until years afterward, when I was entering high school. I was just beginning to learn all the prejudice that came along with my parent’s and their love. The admonishment wasn’t from just the Indonesian side, though. Since my dad’s first marriage with an Indonesian woman failed, his family was sure that it’d happen again with my stepmother. They treated her poorly, as if she had done something wrong by simply being of the same ethnicity with my birth-mother. It was shocking and upsetting for me to realize all of the struggles my parents went through simply to love each other. I began to feel ashamed of both sides of my family for being so narrow-minded and rather racist. I began to feel insecure about returning to Java with my darker skin and short, curvy figure, on the fear of being called a “maid.” I wonder if returning home to a country of restrictions and racial prejudice is what I really want, even if it is my home…

    I just felt that the children of these couples needed a voice. I just seem to be the only one that bothered to comment.

  • Mutiara

    I didn’t see any other folks like me post this, so I guess I may as well put my two cents in…

    I’m the eldest daughter of an American man (or a bule as you call it) and a Javanese woman. My sister and I have always been proud of our dual culture, and thought that it was something to pride ourselves on; we felt confident with our naturally tanned skin and our big, brown eyes. After a while, my parents separated and my father eventually remarried a Sumatran woman. Soon afterwards, we moved to the states. I remember my father being out every morning to go through the arduous process of getting my stepmom’s visa and greencard, and I could only imagine how much he really loved her. I thought that we had a pretty good family dynamic going on. Then my sister and I began taking dance classes at the Indonesian embassy. After our first performance, we were pulled out because of the way the full Indonesians spoke of my father and stepmother, as well as my sister and I. This wasn’t explained to me until years afterward, when I was entering high school. I was just beginning to learn all the prejudice that came along with my parent’s and their love. The admonishment wasn’t from just the Indonesian side, though. Since my dad’s first marriage with an Indonesian woman failed, his family was sure that it’d happen again with my stepmother. They treated her poorly, as if she had done something wrong by simply being of the same ethnicity with my birth-mother. It was shocking and upsetting for me to realize all of the struggles my parents went through simply to love each other. I began to feel ashamed of both sides of my family for being so narrow-minded and rather racist. I began to feel insecure about returning to Java with my darker skin and short, curvy figure, on the fear of being called a “maid.” I wonder if returning home to a country of restrictions and racial prejudice is what I really want, even if it is my home…

    I just felt that the children of these couples needed a voice. I just seem to be the only one that bothered to comment.

    • Mutiara,

      Thanks for sharing your story! I agree it is sad that people with narrow
      minds allow themselves to be so ugly towards fellow human beings. In
      addition, I relate to your experience through the eyes of an African
      American. There is only one race, the human race. We have many differences
      in the human race but we have many common traits. It’s in those common
      traits we can build upon and learn from each other. Instead, some humans
      use those differences as a mean of separation or segregation. And then we
      have to the nerve to be interested in Aliens? The nerve to be interested in
      other beings elsewhere in the world? And can’t even deal with our fellow
      human beings correctly? Wow! It’s so sad! Your story represents many
      around the world, perhaps. From your story, I hope others can learn.

  • To be honest, I’m not sure if I should allow the comments on this post to continue or shut down the entire post. I understand it’s important for you all to voice your opinions in an open and respective manner, but I’m seeing more and more blatant racism, lack of respect, generalizations, and unneeded aggression.

    The purpose of this blog was never to provide a platform for such activity.

    • Thomasmartin2004

      your site provides an informative platform for direct communication for all men and women…If some comments are good or not so courteous it still serves as a healthy and stimulative exchange of honest opinions and informative insights of one’s experiences.

    • Eklesia777

      I see what you see too, blog owner.. And it’s kinda sad but also funny. For Thomasmartin2004, what a useful information and story you have shared w/ all of us. I read all of your posts very carefully and when you post Siti Rodiah picture, seriously I can’t help but smiling and keep remembering that indeed beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But please don’t make a common judgment that all Indonesian woman is like the character of your Siti Rodiah.
      I have wrote previously that I feel a little bit jealousy to all Indonesian woman who happens to have darker skin than me because it seems that’s what beauty in the bule men’s eyes.
      I like bule men, and I never thought of money when thinking about bule. I have a tendency of liking men with white skin, big proportional figure and especially eyes with different color than common Indonesian men’s eyes; that’s what beauty in my eyes 🙂
      I like seeing Nicholas Cage, loving the eyes of Hugh Grant, and of course enjoy the smile and laughter and the humor of Barney Stinson in HIMYM =)) But unfortunately I have come to a conclusion that no bule likes my skin’s tone and maybe my body figure because I’m not slim and tiny LOL :))
      Also, I personally always believe that westerner is more open minded that most people here in Indonesia. And all of your judgment (you keep writing over and over again: Indonesian women) makes me kinda wonder do I should continue this hope in finding the right bule man for me 🙂

      • Thomasmartin2004


      • Thomasmartin2004






      • Thomasmartin2004


      • karen jessica nastalim

        hey eklesia777, i believe good thing come to those who wait 🙂
        just like you, i also prefer white men instead of asian men. not trying to be racist, it’s just very subjective how we determine beauty. and i believe there is nothing wrong with it.
        just bear in mind that not every bule loves dark skinned women. so don’t lose hope yet. i’m a halfie myself, so my skin is fair, and i’ve met some white men who think fair skinned asian girls are beautiful. stand firm! hehehe 🙂

    • Lunna1979

      Yes Brandon, this pathetic man(Thomasmartin2004) sent me email to my yahoo address and insulted me. I have no idea who he is until I visited your blog again. Then I found out it was him. It’s quite annoying so please kindly remove the racism comments/posts. I know you are a good man that doesnt have shallow mind. Thanks in advance 🙂

    • Bapakgila

      Javajive has spoken words of wisdom. People from all cultures get hurt and are
      hurt by other people regardless of their culture or Religious upbringing. Like
      many expats, I also married an Indonesian women and yes she left me for another
      man but I still respect Indonesian women and their culture. I must confess I am
      still attracted to Indonesian women much more than I am too American women for
      so many reasons I couldn’t begin to list here. Simply put, all cultures &
      societies have good and bad people alike and NO one gets out of this world
      alive without getting hurt by someone or hurting someone.  We are all mortal creatures and it all starts
      with respect and what better forum to show a little understanding and
      tolerance.  Perhaps we will even learn a
      few things?

      • Lunna

        Well-said BapakGila!!!!

  • en

    hi i’m indonesian female 20 years old. Im looking for a foreigner man. add my facebook : “bernedetta vitomirov” or my email facebook : “bernedettavitomirov@yahoo.com” xoxoxo

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Continuing story of Siti Rodiah and Family – Pamulang and BSD Indonesia

    Well after I left indonesia at the conclusion of my business, I began sending money to her for her financial support…I expected her to stop soliciting at the lounges but I knew she still was.. When I would call her at times from the USA the background noise of music and so on was clear she had not given up her sex trade profession. As a complete fool, I kept sending the money. Then 3 months later I visited her, met her family and the lovable little boy Raihand which i still adore to this day and think of.

    So we spent a few days at the Marriott in Jakarta, met the family, and then headed to Singapore for a week…After 8 days with her she announces she loves me…Yeah!!!!!…After 8 days? The first clue missed by me that she was looking for a husband and support. So as a fool I am , I feel for it rented a home in BSD, Bought a car and motorcycle and we were off to what I thought would be a wonderful life where we could build our future together.

    The first two together was wonderful.. No complaints….We often expressed our love for each other continuously. Then the final years, as they rolled on my businesses suffered deep down turns with the world economic situation. I began noticing she no longer told me she loved me… When I would tell her I loved her she would just walk away mute…She was pressing for marriage but I had no choice to put it off because of my business pressures, the current economic climate in starting up my consulting division along with trying to manage the other companies I owned. Even my charitable trust I set up for children suffered… Everything was working against me…So years 4 and 5 kept getting worse…no love from the woman I worked so hard to provide for, yes 16 hours a day for 3 years 7 days a week.

    Also during all these years I financed numerous vacation trips for her. The story was she was going with her sister…Well sounded reasonable to me since her sister recently married a Malay fellow…I did not mind since I was working incredible hours and I wanted her to enjoy life while I was gone.

    Then in year 4 &5, I began noticing how she protected her cell phone, quite conversations away from my presence, always checking her text messages. Hmm…all the signs I had read about to watch for in Indonesian women certainly existed in our relationship…

    Then she became pregnant….At the time I was fully convinced it was mine, Then came the so called miscarriage…She said she fell in the bathroom while cleaning it… Well I believed her as any fool in love would.

    Then in year 5, I was working in africa this time in a dangerous part of the world. She calls me and wants to take a one day trip to Sinapore to meet her sister….I thought .;;strange an inpromptu trip in the middle of the day….I dont know if she came back in one day or several. Then when I returned to Africa, 3 weeks later, I noticed how withdrawn from my presence she was…She said she was angry because I was delaying marriage…But the economy was getting worse and I was in no position to marry under all the business stress I was under. It was evident she did not want me there…in the home I PAID FOR TWO YEARS IN ADVANCE…Then once again the cell phone textes were coming in, she would go off to have her discussion and at times enter new numbers in her directory. Very Strange I thought.

    When I mentioned to take a trip to singapore she said no…That when I knew someone was there she was afraid we would run into while in Singapore.

    Then after I returned to work she ask to take a trip to Hong Kong with her sister again.,..Strange as it was she said she just needed flight money and that she was staying in an apartment of a friend of her sister…..Well never heard from her the entire week…except for one BB message that said having trouble getting on to internet…Hmmmm I thought the BB worked. Why did not she send me messages from the phone more frequently….Oh..forgot this was not the first time she would disappear for a week. I got stories of went to resort with my sister and her husband…and on and on and on. the lies started to increase. The one thing about lies is if u tell enough of them, like she did, then the liar becomes mixed up forgetting what they said…Oh yes all the was happening too.

    To be continued

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Contunuing story of Siti Rodiah and Family

    Then in all my visit I started noticing purchases of jewelry and other items I did not buy…She would tell her friends bought them for her…I said what friends and she said her girl friends…Hmmm I thought to myself. I knew it was another lie of many because girls dont buy expensive jewelry and items for another girl..only men do….well then I started investigating the web and from that my tech people were able to get a hold of all her correspondence and emails…Quite interesting..the details of these converstations on skype, yahoo, emails, facebook, my space etc…These details will be released later.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    In indonesia, the white skins as they call us, refer to them as “Professional Girl Friends” They carry on Mulitple love affairs with men at the same time…A White Skin is thought of to have money and good job…so they exploit that to their advantage because all they care about is security for all members and extended members of their family..Beleive me the families are large too.

    The white skin referred to as Bule or foreigner could be called in the US an American Bull….a stud for sex that the woman keeps around as long as he keeps paying ;the bills. That is all one means to these women… The priorities in their life is their family, money for security, a house, a husband and children. That is it…There is no love as you would know it…Everything in their life is centered around them and their family…The FAMILY STATUS, MARRIED that is, is the only thing that is important to them.. There is no love in these relationships. Screw up one time and the family will throw u out without any thought or appreciation as to what u may have done for them. MUSLIMS ARE VERY CRUEL AND THOUGHTLESS PEOPLE…ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS WHAT THE AMERICAN BULL CAN DO FOR THEM…

    If you are one of the fools that should marry them you will never be part of the family because you are an outsider….Infidel.. You will never have influence over your family because the Muslim family controls all the children….The husband only role is to ensure the woman has FAMILY STATUS and has children.. That is your role and only role…If this is the life u want with these women GOOD LUCK MATES…

  • Thomasmartin2004

    My experience exactly. The woman I met Siti Rodiah of Pamulang now of BSD told me she loved me after 10 days….That is quick because love does not develop that fast…Well I fell for that and 5 years later I find out she has a line up of men in que she keeps in the back ground just in case she needs one. There is no such thing of fidelity in this woman or any woman. Too bad everywhere i go now in Indonesia, I always see a Siti Rodiah hanging around to pick up another Bule or American style Bull for her personal enjoyment and Financial support.

    After I dumped her because I got tired of her infidelities, lies and stealing she takes up with another bule or bull only 2 weeks afterwards. Then tells me she loves him…Quite interesting isn’t it.. He will learn just lke I did. Too bad her lovable son has a mother like that.

    • Princess_ariell

      i wish i met one like you. well.. i dated view bule and most of them are having a lot of girls behind me… i guess we just havent met the right one yet.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    My experience exactly. The woman I met Siti Rodiah of Pamulang now of BSD told me she loved me after 10 days….That is quick because love does not develop that fast…Well I fell for that and 5 years later I find out she has a line up of men in que she keeps in the back ground just in case she needs one. There is no such thing of fidelity in this woman or any woman. Too bad everywhere i go now in Indonesia, I always see a Siti Rodiah hanging around to pick up another Bule or American style Bull for her personal enjoyment and Financial support.

    After I dumped her because I got tired of her infidelities, lies and stealing she takes up with another bule or bull only 2 weeks afterwards. Then tells me she loves him…Quite interesting isn’t it.. He will learn just lke I did. Too bad her lovable son has a mother like that.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    In siti Rodiah’s comment back to me the only thing she complained about was that we were not married. Well when I lived with her for 5 years and providing their support for her and family, one would expect fidelity.. But not this woman. She had no objections to her infidelities, her multiple lies, and stealing from me. Huh…the epitome of low morals in the woman.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    In siti Rodiah’s comment back to me the only thing she complained about was that we were not married. Well when I lived with her for 5 years and providing their support for her and family, one would expect fidelity.. But not this woman. She had no objections to her infidelities, her multiple lies, and stealing from me. Huh…the epitome of low morals in the woman.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    The Indonesian woman is only attracted to the White Skin Bule because they associate the Fair Skin to the USD or Euro. The more money you have the more love u will received…Take the money away and she is off to find another white skin bule….Their moto is …” No Money no Love” Heard this from Siti and her sister Komo all the time….

    • Oneng

      “No money, no love” .. Money without love is worthless, love without money is useless.

      • Lucas

        I think the more commonly used phrase is “No Money, No Honey”. 😉

  • Thomasmartin2004

    click on the image below left to view Siti Rodiah

    • Sistersoulinc

      wow..unbelievable, she’s not beautiful … i bet she have susuk to attract men…

      • Thomasmartin2004

        Many thanks Sistersoulinc…

      • Oneng

        “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” or else our Thomas would not have been here seeking his childish revenge.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Siti’s married sister with Turkish boyfriend

    • Oneng

      Hmmm!!!!! Getting involve family members who was not in anyway got anything to do in your relationship. Might as well post the pic of President SBY since he is the head of the indonesian family… Hahaha… You childish bum!

  • Thomasmartin2004


    The first lady is Siti Rodiah…She is not lady folksAfter devoting myself to her for 5 years supporting her and family this is what I learned before I threw her out.
    1. She worked as a ayam, Prostitute for 8 years before I met her and continued her trade when we were together
    2. She had many infidelities during our relationships. She needs many men in her life at the same time.
    3. During our time together….she became pregnant twice..The first one I do not know if it was mine or one of her many boyfriends. The second was not mine and she aborted it for medical reasons so she says.
    4. She often would take trips with her sister, so she said, but some of them were to meet her boyfriends…singapore, Honkgong mostly
    5. I dont know how many men have been with her but it has to be quite numerous.
    6. She constantly lies to manipulate men to give her what she wants.
    7. After I learned of all of this, I finally tossed her out when in Turkey with me. Then two weeks later I find she is living in my home in BSD with another man. Yes that is right…I unfortunate was in another country and there was little I could do.
    8. Then she and her boyfriend steal all the money in our savings.
    9. Also took the Van as well
    10. So over the five years with her..I wasted 5 years of my life and spent over $120,000 USD
    11. The most amazing thing about it is she and her boyfriend have no remorse for anything.
    12. She is a hardcore lady of the night…Gave her my best of love and got zero in return…





    • Siti Meiyana Arafah

      Dear Mr Thomas,
      Sorry to hear that you have problem with woman you met in Jakarta, Indonesia. I really understand your feeling but no doubt not all women from my country have attitude like woman you call ayam. Also not about religion…practically its about attitude and how people have mind for relationship, probably your woman friend was only focus how to get money and using you for what she want.
      From my research result about Why western guy love to see “ayam” because 1st they think they more easy to handling and not too much asking but unfortunately all depend their background reason to close with the guy…pure looking money or she looking better life. 2nd from their education (low level education) so they will not too much involve in all…again..they more smart then you guys for tell lies and make sad story about their family who really need help, etc….

      So…my opinion is if you looking good woman of course you must looking in the right place so you will find the right person!

      Wish you all the best.


    • Oneng

      Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fooled all the time, Idiot I am.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    EKLESSIA 777


  • thomas martin





    • Lucas

      When I read 1 to 4 it is like looking in the mirror… I believe it. 100%!

  • thomas martin

    Hey Eklessia
    read your blog 10 months ago for the first time…Wow very educational…Yes a western man is open minded. So keep looking….They do have some beliefts like all cultures but mostly very accepting. You are ok. But be aware that men are men anywhere. Just like the women..I have worked in 58 countries and speak 8 languages and you will find good ones and bad ones. Just as the westerner need to be careful with the women in other countries so do the ladies as well… Your cool and sensitive a wonderful characteristic.

  • thomas martin

    tks for your emails to my private box sharing your similar experiences as mine. I knew there were a lot of expat workers with this similar experience as mine. I only speak of this because I want the expats to be careful and be aware!!!!!!!!!!!! Beleive me it is painful to talk about.

    The first rule to remember is dont tell the ladies anything about yourself about the money one makes or the job one has…I for one always keep that to myself. If siti would have known my net worth and the companies I own, who knows what she would have gone after. Since I speak 8 languages fluently, I have no problem.

    Many of these ladies, like Siti, are in the lounges and high class nite clubs, not the bars, They are professional courtesans. Remember that term…That is a western term for a lady of the night who only will assoicate with a man of wealth or with a good job. They know how to find you in the crowd.

    They basically will give themselves to you for exchange of your promise of security for themselves and family, home, money, and all the fineness that goes with it. There is no love in these women hearts. It is all business. The difficult part is they are so good it is hard to distinguish if they are sincere or not. Once you give it to them then they take it all and they are off to another guy instantly.

    They are very street smart, beautiful and incredibly sweet. “They are not forward but act very innocent like Siti did.

    But, they lack intellect and substance like Siti did. They know we are lonely because we are away from our friends. That is our weakness. They know we are not use to women throwing themselves at us. That is our second weakness. :They know that most of the energy workers coming off their rotational schedules have a lot of money because it this business big bonuses get paid at the end of each shift. Their room and food are paid for at the hotels during their stay..

    Dont show up in your business suits, wearing your cuff link shirts and expensive watches. Look like a normal tourist.. Dress down not up. Because u are a Bule they assume you have money..Never tell them you are American. They think all Americans are rich which is not the case.

    If they ask what is your profession dont tell them or play it down…If you happen to fall in love with one; RUN!!!!! and if she tells you she loves you in a very short period of time…My advice is RUN!!!!!!!!!!!! Like most ladies I have met over the years in other countries they just want to get out of their poverty and they view you as their ticket to the promise land.

    They want their anchor baby. We as Americans know how that works. Once they get their baby they get the alimony and child support. “The child is an American and she will use that to get to the USA.

    I knew this when I came to indonesia but as I said these ladies are very good in their profession; the best I have seen. Siti Rodiah learned her trade well and now she is working on her next Bule.

    I know who he is where he works and all his contacts. When I was out of the country she was pursuing him on the internet and visiting him on trips of which some I knew of and others I found out when I looked at her passport later. He knew I was out of the country as well. Sounds like they are made for each other…

  • thomas martin

    Forgot to add in my last post….If they press for marriage within a year or two of dating her……RUN!!!!!!!!!!!Americans have long dating periods before they decide to marry…The men and women make sure they know their mates…..In a Muslim country…marriage and family status is everything…It is not surprising to find Indonesian muslim ladies wanting to marry in a very short dating period.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    hey dykulture9
    she tried to poisoned you to get u out of the house so she could live with her muslim boyfriend. Wow what a story.. My siti rodiah did not do that but she had lots of boyfriends that is for sure. Could not take the infidelities anymore so I threw her cheating @#$%@ out. I refer you to my blogs. Now she is living with him or from what i am hearing married him shortly after…Spent 5 years with her and after throwing her out for her many men, lies and stealing from me she takes up with 2 weeiks later. My God these muslims women are a piece of work….the best part is she does not even have a conscience not an ounce of sorrow or give a damn for those she has hurt along the way…Vicious species these muslims women here; especially Siti Rodiah. the best thing is I think the family raises them that way so they dont have to work like Siti’s family….

  • Thomasmartin2004

    forgot to add dykulture9 siti rodiah got pregnant also to another guy. First one I dont know if mine or not the second was not mine but she aborted it. Sorry to hear about your situation…She always acted like a good muslim too..but I knew she, deep inside, was not…It was all show…

  • Jeffziegler0

    Hey guy I am new to this site. I am an expat working in Malaysia…I really appreciate all the advice from y’all that have had bad experiences in this part of the world..many thanks to everyone for their candid advice.

  • Jasona026

    I live in singapore and an expat as well… I sure enjoy reading this site and the information everyone has shared. I hope you appreciate this as I do to guide me if I should ever have a relationship with a lady over here. I have seen this woman referred to in so many of the blogs and talked to her in the nite clubs here. I am surprised…Also found this on both an Indonesian site and singapore site. Thank you Thomas Martin for the geat advice.

    1) Your Indonesian girlfriend protects her phone. My ex (which I found out was cheating) was behaving very strangely with her phone: First, the screen was locked with a password. It meant that if she wanted to call someone, she had to type a password first… a real pain in the ass don’t you think? Then, wherever she would go, she would always, always take her phone with her. The other clue is she keeps constantly checking it or the emails. Such behaviour is a clear indicator that your Indonesian girl is hiding something.
    2) She lies sometimes but not always to you. The reason for that is simple: It’s hard to be deceptive, and when someone’s life is a lie and you will easily see you cannot always find good excuses for everything. She cannot keep track of all the lies she is saying because it is not possible for a normal human being. Normal girls don’t lie because they don’t have to and if you indo girlfriend is lying to you; it means that she is not behaving normally.
    3) Another sign that can help you see if the girl you are dating is having multiple boyfriends: She refuses to talk to you about problems that make her mad/sad/depressed. Usually, she will say she has “problems with the family”, but don’t take her word too seriously: Chances are she is angry because one of the expats stopped sending her money, or because she fought with her Indonesian guy.
    4) Also, she is extremely focused on money always claiming she does not have enough. She will always ask u money for the family or something. You will feel sad for her and of course u will hand it over because you are in love. She will tell you that she has nothing in her bank account to pay the bills. Then u make the most stupid move of all. You send her extra money to have for emergencies. When you ask them the balance in the account they will refuse to talk about it or act very guarded. Then she gives you an amount. You quickly add it up in your mind, the money you sent her, and the balance is either more but most likely less. Then she will tell you she had extra expenses. The truth is she has been out partying with your friends or boyfriend or spent it on herself. She quickly wants to buy a house so she does not have to worry about making the rent or moving all the time. Once they get the house and all the furnishings it is bye bye time. The reality is she has not forgotten how she made her living as a professional girlfriend before Mr. Sucker came into her life.
    5) She will make you believe she is attracted to you physically and that she enjoys having sex. You may also see that she uses sex to get things from you or to make you forgive her. This is never a very good sign of a healthy relationship…

    6) You feel in your gut that something is wrong. This is the most important sign of all. You feel that your Indonesian girl is not being faithful, for tons of reasons that adds up. You may be in love and you are doing everything you can to believe her lies, but it actually makes you feel down to think you can be that stupid. There are no reasons to feel ashamed because you love someone, even a bargirl/prostitute, but at one point, you need to protect yourself from your girlfriend because miracles don’t happen: Trust your instinct, and make a courageous decision get rid of her.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Exactly the guidelines i used to judge Site Rodiah to see how faithful she was and how sincere she was..Every line items she fulfilled without a doubt…I dont know the singapore site this is on but it is well documented on an Indo site. A teacher from Germamy wrote this and it is well done.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Exactly the guidelines i used to judge Site Rodiah to see how faithful she was and how sincere she was..Every line items she fulfilled without a doubt…I dont know the singapore site this is on but it is well documented on an Indo site. A teacher from Germamy wrote this and it is well done.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    In response to stuartmaccaulay1
    you are very wise to set your wedding date in April 2012. That gives u enuf time to figure her out…If she presses for earlier date dont fall for it…Even better date her for a longer period…say 2-3 years…See if she sticks around…most likely she will not…see jasona026 posting as a good guide for you to follow…It will save you from a Site Rodiah.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    The lies of Siti Rodiah
    1. at first when dating….called her and heard music in the background with other voices…I asked her where are you…she said at home….who is playing the piano….she said my brother edy…Oh ….then found out edy does not have a piano…he plays a guitar.
    2. called her again shortly after we began dating……I hear an echo in the backgound when she talks….I ask why is there an echo….she answers I am in the bathroom at my house bcoz there are many people out front talking…Then when I visit her there is not even a door on the bathroom in her house.
    3. called her serveral time and heard the same echo…..Then when I visited her in september I stayed at the Le Meridien hotel. Well just so happens when in the lounge I used the bathroom downstairs…Guess what ….an echo just like I heard when she talked to me before,.
    4. So I asked her have you been back seeing other guys again after we began seeing each other…She acts surprised…..waits for 30 seconds before she answers…..then she says no! The tone of the denial and hesitation to respond pretty much told me that she was….If she was not lying why did she hesitate and say it in a nervous voice.
    5. In several visits I saw her checking her emails frequently…I ask why are u checking your emails…she said they are just friends….Oh I said let me see….she said no
    6. When working in Africa, she calls me and wants to know if she can make a one day trip to singapore to see her sister who is there with her husband. I tell her no, that I dont want to spend the money…When I returned from Africa I ask her sister how was singapore a few weeks back.. She said I was not there…Funny how her passport showed she came in and left the same day.
    7. Another trip to singapore that I noticed when checking her passport. This time I did not know about that trip
    8. In another trip I saw her again checking her emails on the phone…Also receiving many calls where she would go into the other room to talk silently…Then on a few occasions she would go to her directory and make changes….Strange eh? then she would look around to see if I saw her
    9. Told me she was pregnant. Was really happy…Then shortly after I began to firmly suspect her running around on me. Then I began to question myself if it was really mine.. Then she looses it. She says she fell in bathroom and had miscarriage.. ok sounds reasonable but is it mine…Dont really know.
    10. Tells me she is pregnant for 2nd time…What she did not know I was tracking her conception cycle. So when she told me I quickly recalculated the conception time period and what do u know….I was in Africa during that time period.
    11. She looses her $700 Blackbery..Angry about this I told her to buy a cheap phone. When she visited me she has another Blackberyy. I said who owns the Blackberry.. “She says my sister’s daughter…I look at her sister and the look on her face show astonishement…I said to Site you are a damn liar..Then she says I thought I told you I bought another Blackberry
    12.. Many occasions I see her wearing expensive jewelry I did not buy…I asked her where did u get that. She says friends….I saaid to her what friends. she says girl friends…Funny girl friends dont buy expensive watches and jewelry for another girls only girls do. She walks away saying nothing
    13. Oh I am flying to Singapore this weekend with my sister, grandmother. We are staying at my aunts. Oh I said who is paying for that.. She says my aunt.. Oh so why is your grandmother going.. she says she want checkup by doctor.. Oh welll she can get that in Jakarta, after all the woman is in her 70’s. Then she stumbles to answer and then quickly says I dont know why she just wants to go…Then I said well how much do i need to pay your aunt for your trip…She stumbles again and says hurridly You want to pay for that? Why to you object Isaid. Coz it would not be right for you to pay for it.

    So this time, while I was staying in my Australia home to make some repairs I flew to jakarta…went to her sister’s house and found her sister was at the market buying food…Oh I thought she went to Singapore I ask the maid… She said no only Siti went to Singapore…Oh for what…She said to visit you I thought but really dont know…

    What she did not know either that I hired a detective to track her…Got pics of her meeting the boyfriend at the airport, going into the hotel for 10 days and going to the Universal resort casinos with him…Got even pics of them at dinner and breakfast… Caught the Ayam this time.

    • Lucas

      Dear Thomas,

      I can relate to everything you say. I am a Dutchman, who has lived in Jakarta for 3,5 years and I, too, married an Indonesian lady that I met in a nightclub (Top Gun, to be more precise). And just about everything that happened to you, happened to me too. With only one (important) exception: my wife never fucked around.

      We are fools to believe that if we give love and financial support to “cewe malam” and their families, love and respect is what we get in return. That is a very Western way of thinking. In Indonesia a man is supposed to take care of his wife and her family. It is expected from you. After all: you are “bule banyak duit”.

      Corruption is rooted deeply in Indonesian society. And not just at the top. It goes from top to the very bottom. No social security network in Indonesia. You do what you can to survive. So far so good. The only problem is that many lost their moral compass. Stealing, lying, manipulating. blackmailing… is allowed. You just have to be smart enough to not become a victim. That’s the attitude. If you loose, it is not their mistake, it is your own stupidity. It’s a very bad mentality, but it’s everyday reality in Indonesia. And not just among cewe malam or ayam kampung…

      When I move to Indonesia in 2006, I figured that when I would get to live among muslim people, I would get to know them better and would understand them more. And be able to respect them more. I did get to know them better, yes, but that didn’t mean I got to respect them more. I speak Indonesian language… But it took me about 3 years to hear the Indonesian word for “responsibility”. The concept of individual and social responsibility is an alien concept in Indonesia. The few that do use the word, usually do so to explain how something is NOT their responsibility. Responsibility is a Christian concept… In that respect you are probably right when you warn bule for muslim women.

      Indonesia that consist of around 90% muslims. But at the same time it is corrupt to the bone. (Please bear in mind that everybody in Indonesia has to state their religion on their ID-cards (KTP) and you HAVE to have/choose a religion. For many it is very convenient to just pick “islam”. Minorities in Indonesia are discriminated.

      The first mistake bule make is… thinking, all of a sudden, that they are God’s gift to women. It’s the expat-syndrom… Develishly pretty young girls throw amazing smiles at you and they offer themselves the very same night and you have to be really strong-minded to not fall into that pitfall. Easy to get, almost impossible to get rid off!

      The echo on the phone because she was in the toilet, the broken or lost handphone, the pregnancy, the abortion, some relative needs medica attention, lost money, even giving a brother in law or something a motorcycle, “I can’t pay the rent this year”.. “I am afraid to drive” so we hire my brother… It all sounds so familiar. Been there…

      Lying is a part of life in Indonesia. It is socially accepted. For us, bule, a lying wife is almost just a bad as infidelity. Not for Indonesian people…

      My family robbed me and my parents blind… And when I found the proof and went to the police, the police ignored the proof and focussed on me. In Indonesia, if you lost a chicken and you go to the polie, you will loose a goat. The police, immigration officers, security of the apartment complex I lived in (Sudirman Park, you probably know it)… all realized that a bule was in trouble and they don’t help you… they start acting like voltures… I won’t go into more details. I could write abook about it! (Wouldn’t sell. Nobody would believe it. They would probably say I am exxagerating. And, maybe you experienced the same thing: nobody cares…)

      In the end I was not safe in Jakarta anymore, so when I was offered a job in China, I took it. And… I took my wife! Now we stay in Bangkok. My marriage survived. She gave me a lot of grief and I suffered a lot, but now that we are both foreigners, in the same weak legal position and far away from corrupt authorities and family, things are working better.

      And if she looses her handphone… she gets the cheapest one I can find. And that’s just fine with her.

      I chose to stay together. In spite of everything. In your case, Your case, however, seems even worse than mine. Seems hopeless. Just forget about her… Ayam…

    • Oneng

      Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fooled all the time, idiot i am.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Correction to line item 12 in the lies of Siti Rodiah…
    Originally I said girls do not buy girls expensive jewelry only girls do.. I meant to say girls do not buy girls expensive jewely only guys do…Then she just walks away saying nothing.

  • @ Thomasmartin2004 i can see y u’re being so emotional. well, i have to admit that i have one or two friends that r chasing foreigners, not only ‘bule’ but also ‘arabs’. but i think u’re making such a generalization over indonesian muslim woman.

    I’m also indonesian muslim woman, but I can tell u I’m not like that, and so are million others. If she’d been treating u mean she’s not a good muslim,then. besides, there r only two kind of people in this world: good and bad *rephrasing ‘My Name Is Khan’ :p – whether u’re christian, muslim, hindu, atheis, whatever.

    • Thomasmartin2004

      Well shintagaluh(Khan) no emotions at this point, just conveying my experience to the bule so they can be aware of the pitfalls here in Indonesia. The Bule works hard and long to make something out of their lives; especially the west bule. The only goal here his just dont want the generous Bule to get taken advantage of. If I can deter a few Bules from being emotionally and financially raped, then the job is well done…

      For you, A few post back I said if there are any decent muslim women out there then step forward and let me know…Sounds like you may be the exception. Thanks for coming forward..Good for you. So far only you have proclaimed your goodness…Good for you. Stay close to your principles.

    • Marlinawidyastuti

      @ Shintagaluh:yes i agree with shinta..
      @Thomas : not all of muslim woman as bad as Thomas said. I am a moslem woman too and alhamdulillah i am coming from a good family. Our parents teach and guide us how to be a good woman. Giving a good education for us. So please don’t judge all muslim woman are bad. Thank you
      @Siti: i agree with u too…depend on where u found her?

      • Mark

        you r right there, musilim or not muslim women same

        i don t like when people talking about that

  • Pris

    I can provide 5 pages of my opinion. However, I’ll make it clear and simple. These generalizations of Indonesian women, American women, and American men are just that, “generalizations”.
    The American women stereotype doesn’t represent me; maybe that’s why I have a wonderful Indonesian husband. And I’m sure stereotypes towards Indonesian men and Indonesian women don’t represent them either.
    I remember a conversation I overheard the other day at lunch, where someone said, “You don’t want to see my Scottish temper!” Scottish…. Since when are tempers, Scottish tempers? To me, people don’t have a Scottish, Irish, Italian, or Spanish temper; they simply just have tempers. I wouldn’t blame my feistiness on my Latin American heritage.
    Certain women aren’t promiscuous or unfaithful because they are American, French, or Spanish etc etc. They are because, well they are. Of course, upbringing might have some influence, however after meeting people from many different cultures, I noticed that some also fell into stereotypes that would describe Americans, or Indonesians, or Brazilians what have you.
    So as you can see, broad views such as the ones I’ve been seeing on this topic don’t speak for the majority.

  • Soyadi Adul41

    I am Adul from Istanbul turkey. Started reading this website after meeting a lady from Banten…Must say say I had no idea of the problems we foreigners can run into in Indonesia.. My girlfriend seems to be a nice girl but must admit after reading the many topics here makes me now wonder. She only ask me for $500 USD equivalent amount for living expenses there so I send it.. Seems reasonable. But now I dont know if I should continue.

    I happen to find in my email listing, yahoo messenger, a picture of this lady referred to in Thomas Martin story.. I either met her here in Indonesia or Istanbul but cant remember. After reading all this I wonder to myself who would want a lady like this…If it cost her $500 to live each month, then that means she would, in 8 years, have been with 800 men or more…

    Thomas you are a lucky man to get rid of her…Love can fool us all and mislead our judgements but u are so lucky to not have her in your life anymore. Your made the right decision.

  • Anita Arya41

    woww..this is 100% true

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Yes it is true based upon my detective uncoverered information plus the work performed by various IT specialists. My only objective here was to alert the foreigner (bule) of the relationship problems one may encounter in meeting ladies in niteclubs and lounges.

    One lady suggested that there are classy ladies to meet in Indonesian. That is fortunately true and refreshing. Where do u meet them? Dont know. But I guess one just has to be alert when they meet a lady like a Site Rodiah they may like…Just dont get caught in their vicious circle of lies, games, wealth fleecing and professional girl friend persuadsive ways accomplished through dishonest intimacy.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Well, I returned today from my Kuala Lumpur home to my Jakarta Office, and BSD residence after signing 3 construction contracts for our construction division worth 400 million USD, It has been 4 difficult weeks for my entrepreneurial indonesian staff and myself in closing these deals. So I sent all of them to KL for a 3 day weekend all expenses paid for their hard work. Many trips for me and some staff in my private jet from JKT to Malaysia and Japan in closing these deals. The frequent trips were exhausting.

    In the meantime, I want to thank all of you USD American Bulls and Bules out there for the terrific personal emails detailing your personal experiences here in Indonesia. I knew there were many of us who have endured such personal and emotional difficulties with the ladies here, so thanks for stepping forward.

    My personal endeavors in this area are now centered on forming a Bule Organization that will expand the mission here.

    Soon we will distribute informative brochures or pamlets to the many businesses, hotels, and targeted Bule residences etc in 10 countries. The only objective will be to inform the Bule of any pitfalls in these countries when dating these ladies. The residences also will include those of the ladies who have created such horrific acts against the Bule.

    The Mascots of course will be the pictures and names of the various women.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    So eleoquently said in describing the corrupt nature of Indonesia and its people. That which u describe as the loss of their moral compass was so well said. It is so evident with so many there. Describing responsibility as a christian concept is well said once again. One thing I hear here in Indonesia, Singapore and Malasia is “Not my fault” . I hears this so many times from the Site Rodiah and family, it actually made me ill just to hear it. I now terminate employees here when I suspect they are avoiding responsiblity for their actions. Sorry u have had the same experiences as I and coming forward to share with others like yourself.

    Many over here claim that the Bule culture is corrupt..The Indonesian needs to look deep into their own culture before they call us corrupt.

  • Thomasmartin2004

    Well it is 1 in the morning and still hard at work in my jakarta office. Today was Siti Rodiah’s son birthday so I sent an email to him wishing him a Happy Birthday. I love this little boy as if he was my own and still think of him all the time. He is a good boy. But, so has it when relationships end so does the ability to connect with others you still cared for. I still see him at times when he comes by. But, since I do not speak Bahasa well I cant communicate with him. So I just see him go by.

    Siti also asked what do I want from talking about our relationship on the web. Simply put, I want nothing. As I have stated many times previously, my only objective is to inform the American Bulls and Bules of these treacherous women like her. If I can deter some Bules that come here to work, for the companies that provide jobs to Indonesian people from getting involved with these kind of women, then it is a job well done. That is all and nothing more. For those who are now aware, as Lucas said in his earlier post, and still get involved, then it is their fault.

    Then she trys to make a bargain. She says ” if you love my son and want to see him again stop talking about our relationship”. Sorry, still loving him and thinking about him and talking openly about our relationahip are two geometric parallels of human thought and feeling that that never meet. To intermix them exhibits the emotinally illogical mind of these types of women.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Thank you Bules for sending photos of the girls and their names and where they live so we can include in the pamplets and brochures we will circulate in the communities where the Pelecur lives.. Keep them coming.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    in a previous post my ex love tried to bargain with me allowing me to visit her son in exchange for stop posting about her, Siti Rodiah. Well I would actually like to see this little boy as I love him so dear that I actually think of him as my own.. In fact I always called him my son and never by his name… I would acutally like to visit with him frequently but, Siti, has lied so many times to me, about 40 lies I can presently recall, that she has no credibility with me…I knew deep down inside it was just another lie like the others to manipulate me like she used to in the past..But no longer, the rule to remember with your Siti Rodiah is one lie is actually 40 lies she has told u. Do what I did get the courage and throw her #$%@#out….no woman is worth all that pain..

    Siti even if u are fortunate in your life to find someone that will marry you…probably another fool like I was, just remember…You will only still be a married Pelecur….



  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Soyadi Adul..
    just saw your post on Siti Rodiah…You know mate I never thought of her like you did in your analogy..but your right!!!!! If she needed $500 a month to live on like your girl friend did then over 8 years she would have had to slept with 800 men assuming a different man each nite. Even if she even need only half that amount to live on then that would mean 400 men over 8 years…My god Site Rodiah now it is clear why u need more than one man all the time..

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Hello Malinawidyastute

    Happy to see your comments on other Indonesian women..Right now when i go out, i seem to always meet a Siti Rodiah type lady…they always first want to know what kind of work I do and then want to know if I want some company for the evening.. when they say that I think ….Siti Rodiah is around again.. As soon as I measure her up against the criteria of a Siti Rodiah character I tell them good bye…But u are correct…I know there are good ones out there. Thanks for your refreshing words of wisdom…Like to find a good one…

  • Heyjjets

    Thomas Martin’s story about Indonesian women is only one half of the story, be interesting to hear her side of the story. In the meantime be smart idea to remove pictures and real name as this is getting into heavy duty legal stuff let alone some local revenge.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Perhaps you are the new boyfriend. You enjoying my house, car and the money she took from me?

      • Lucas

        Dear Thomas,

        Maybe you are right and that guy really is her new boyfriend. God knows. I am new to this discussion and I must admit that I am happy finally somebod brought the subject up. Indonesian ladies… pfff… it’s a minefield. And it’s a good thing somebody takes the effort to warn other bules for the pitfalls. I sympathize with you. I feel your pain, your hurt as I have had my fair share of problems with them. The grief they caused me…

        However, I think the guy may have a point when he says that publishing pictures of ayam can cause legal problems. I wouldn’t be too afraid of that, if I were you. But please make sure it won’t look like a witch hunt. Make sure it doesn’t look like a a personal cruisade against your ex. If it looks like your way to express your anger, not many people are likely to follow you. I think it is a good idea to warn bule for those girls, who are, in my opinion, even lower than hookers. At least hookers are honest. They offer you a service for an agreed amount of money and it is up to you to take it. Or leave it. Those ayam are evil, bloodsucking vampiers… They prey on men like you and me: good, hard working men men who have honest intensions. And all that bullshit that they are victims themselves, only trying to support their family… I am not buying it. There are always other, more honorable options.

        One thing that guy is absolutely right about. Be careful for revenge. I have been the victim of a revengeful family member and when things escalate, the authorities will not take the bule his side. Not even if you hand over CCTV evidence of theft. Or when they burglar your house. Or seriously threaten to kill you. Or start bothering your family members (like your parents). They will sweet talk to you and, in the meantime, try everything to con you out of even more money. Yes, you are right and you are the true victim, but the police only see a bule seeking help as a great opportunity to make some extra money. Those corrupt basterds master that art, believe me… I have learned that the hard way too…

        Earlier I read that you advised bule to kick ’em out of their houses. Good. But only when you are prepared to also kick her out of your head are you really free. Now you hold a grunch against the girl. I would too. I understand. But as long as you allow her to bother you, you suffer. And you will stay her victim. Forget about her.

        And I don’t need to hear her side of the story to know what harm those bitches can do.

        Maybe a website would help?

      • Oneng

        One man’s fool is another man’s fortune. I’ve learned my expensive lesson well.

      • FRIENDS


  • Thomasjktindonesia

    thanks for your advice..It is helpful to hear someone like myselft has been down the same route as me with these women. Your are right!!!! I will follow your advice. I pray everynight to kick this lady out of my head. Maybe god will answer my prayer.

    I must admit when I tossed her out I was so angry not to the point of physically hurting her because I would never harm anyone unless in self defense. But I was to the point where as my older brother always says no woman no matter how much u love her, is not worth all that pain.

    In the meantime, the revenge may have already started. Dont know if this was a random attack or not. Jakarta can be dangerous I am told but never had any problems before coming home late at night. As I was returning from my work at 1:20am in the morning I was attacked by three men. Surprised I was because all three of them must have been 15-20 years younger than me. But, at the end of 15 minutes, the one assiliant had his left eye bulging from his socket, the other a broken arm and dislocated jaw. The other ran away. As a marshall arts expert, the surprise was on them.. I left them where they were and did not call the police. I know that the Indonesian authorities always support the locals. so i just continued on. and your are right about that…

    I will follow your advice Lucas

    • Oneng

      Ya right !!!!… Downed 3 men who were 15-20yrs younger… And left them where they are until your Siti called and waked you up from your night dream..Hahahaha!!!!

      In any case, good bedtime story!!! Thanks.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Hey Lucas
    your story about how the authorities like a little money is true. I know that for a fact.. When my ex love and I tried to get married we faced a difficult time with the necessary paperwork that Indonesia requries. I remember my ex love saying my family member can help us coz they work for the government. Then she said I will need to pay money to make it work for us…I told her I dont pay anyone money for anything..and certainly will not buy a wife from the government if that is required…. Anyways just wanted to pass that on.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Well my ex love who I have talked about many times on this site, see the previous discussions on this site, is now worried about her reputation and her family’s reputation. She complained that the bules were being alerted only about her because the way she chosen to live her life. She also complained about the family reputation being hurt as well.

    So if one chooses to live her life as a lady of the night, Pelecur, as you did, then what reputation does one expect to earn for themselves. As for the family, well, they agreed in what you were doing because they knew it, did not discourage u from doing it and enjoyed the money u were able to make. So they encouraged you to do your nightly work so they, the other family members, would not have to work. If the family members would just get a job then they would have money..so they earned their reputation along with you. So ex-love why are u and your family ashamed of what u and they desired you to do because they were lazy?

    Now of course you work more as courtesan these days then one of your bar girl friends. A courtesan is the western term that describes a Pelecur such as you that associates only with wealthy gentlemen and will even marry them in exchange for the girl friend experience or wife experince for security for yourself, kids, and family. So in the end you are still what you are. and the family is what they are as well. Leeches!!!! A leech sucks the blood and life out of the person. It uses its host, the guy, for everything they can get. When the host is exhausted, then they just move on to another one.

    So u and your family have earned your reputation well. Enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Of course the innocent victim of all this is the young son. Imagine what he feels about all the men changing in your life and staying with you night after night at the home..

    I am no longer part of your circle of sin and glad of it.. You on the other hand enjoy it, indulge in it and that is the way u wil prefer to die as. Life success is based on one thing…doing that one thing well. Well it is what u do best because you and the family are too lazy to work in an honest job..So enjoy your success.

    • Oneng

      Thomas, I read your article with great interest.. though your story may be an eye opener for all the bules and foreigners who are working or are going to work in Indonesia, I personally feels that what you did here in this medium is uncalled for by posting the pics of your ex love. I too, had that experirence and would have posted all her naked photos I took of her but that it not the way to settle score. Life have to go on. Leave the past and move forward.

      Earlier in your threads the reason you gave in sharing your unfortunate story was to caution and warn the naive bules so that they can avoid the pitfall. Unfortunately your intention and action goes the opposite direction. You use this platfrom to vent your anger & revenge. You humiliate your ex love and her family by posting photos of her. Why stoop so low to get even. You are worse than your ex-love.

      You brag about your 400 million projects, private jets, and trips you paid for your employees so why the hell you are you still haunted by your ex love. You would have got all the girls you want with a private jet and don’t give a damn what had past. You sound rich but you act cheapskate.

      Therefore in the interest of this beautiful and knowledgeful website, I humbly request you stop posting photos that might offend certain people. It doesn’t do any good to anyone.

      PS. I am not suprise if you are using 4 handles here. For all I know, Thomasmartin2004, Lucas and Solyadi were all the same person. Get a life man !!!

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Well for all you out there in BSD, Pamulang and Jakarta Indonesia the circulars are now printed and will be ready for distribution soon in the above communities showing all the nasty women in indonesia that fleece the generous bules for their own personal pleasure….if u see the one below make forget her for sure. She is very popular in these communities.

    • Oneng

      Hmmm!!!!!! You sound happy & satisfied labelling & humialiating a defenseless person and her family. If this revengeful action of yours gives you 5 mins of stiff prick and orgasm, then I believed, you have achieved it.

      Honestly, you achieved nothing. The only thing it tells us is you Thomas still can’t get on with your life after her. Go get a life man. Its water under the bridge. Time to introspect and move on.

      You’re a wise man so please do and act wisely. God bless you!!!

    • Oneng

      Hmmm!!!!!! You sound happy & satisfied labelling & humialiating a defenseless person and her family. If this revengeful action of yours gives you 5 mins of stiff prick and orgasm, then I believed, you have achieved it.

      Honestly, you achieved nothing. The only thing it tells us is you Thomas still can’t get on with your life after her. Go get a life man. Its water under the bridge. Time to introspect and move on.

      You’re a wise man so please do and act wisely. God bless you!!!

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Here she is again just so u cant miss her.

    • Oneng

      Here it is again… Thomas getting another 5 mins of stiff prick and orgasm satisfying his vendetta.

    • Oneng

      Here it is again… Thomas getting another 5 mins of stiff prick and orgasm satisfying his vendetta.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Well hello Oneng
    Thanks for your comments…Sounds highly convincing perhaps we finally perhaps have the boyfriend mixjng in. Been wondering where u been…Some of your comment lines resemble the exact phrases of Siti Rodiah’s words in her private emails to me… So now we may have the Leech Pelecur boyfriend defending his whore(s). Great!!! Love it.

    A Pelecur and her family are not defenseless. They all act like that. Sweet, innocent and helpless. Believe me I have lived in too many muslim countries to know that. If they seek their revenge, good, I’ve been expecting them too. Makes it more interesting. Typical of Muslims; especially Asian Muslims. Would love it…

    So tell me..What ever happened to Eddy and Iwan? They finally go to work? Iwan if you have a job, congrats. After all, I supported you, your wife and son for 5 years, along with the rest of your family. Finally, it is about time.

    I know Site would never go to work in an honest job. She likes it too much on her back. God knows I gave her money to begin a business,and all she complained about was she had to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Then I tried to send her to school to get an education but then she consistantly complained it was too long, 4 years? I sent her to language school to improve your english which at the time was very good anyway.. But, she wanted to go..At the end of the day, her language never improved so she probably spent the money coming to see you in Singapore.. Oh yes I know all about her trips. I have copies of her old passport and new one as well.

    Yea!!! I have heard these defenseless story before from other expats that got used and fleeced like me…all told me their whores said the samething. So common story common line.. They all and their families act like victims. Yea we bulls are fools that is for sure.. But fool no more. Looks like you just have not learned yet. That is because you dont know she is fleecing you right now in exchange for her sex. Courtesans they are called in the West.

    Sounds like you are blindly in love with her like I was. Poor man. Feel for you. You will face your waterloo with her like so many others including me…Like most, I am not afraid to admit my life mistakes..But that is one act I will not get drawn into again.

    Oh by the way you enjoying my home I paid for two years advance rent. Like my car..and the money.. Well what we possibly have here is a classic case of a Bull Leech. So perhaps what we have here is now the Bull Leech defending the whore leech and family leeches. Well the rent is due again in August for two more years… then it is your expensive….Good! About time you began paying for something around there and stop living on my dime. Oh, by the way, if this is the bull leech, thanks for paying for the trip in November to have her come see you in Singapore..That was the final confirmation I needed to conclude my long term private investigation of her unfaithfulness and numerous lies. Very difficult to determine what is going home when one works mostly in other countries like me. You certainly spent enough of my money when I was paying for those earlier trips unknowningly.

    A fool or an idiot maybe I was for loving this woman but no more.. U said u learned your expensive lesson well so have u?. If you are the boy friend, so why are u still there?

    Take the test. Take away the money and the freebies. Refuse to marry her quickly like I did. Delayed our marriage because the business was terrible at that time plus my friends here were telling me all their whore stories. So I waited to know her better. So I gave her the test. she failed. So do it. See how see acts…when i told her I was cutting her off after her after I llearned of the pending Singapore trip she immediately said good bye for ever. No money, no Honey.

    Or ff this is one of her Pelecur friends, then what would one expect. A Pelecur defending a Pelecur. If this is another family leech, I did not know at the time, then find a job and earn your living for a change.

    Oh you are up late tonight. Usually Siti likes to go to bed early to get her orgasms…lets see you said the “Prick” for about an hour before she goes to bed. Or Is your Prick up ,now that you are finally going to bed with her? Or was your Prick and Orgasm up earlier before you wrote your lines.

    • Oneng

      Hello Thomas, first you’re welcomed & its a pleasure to write to you.
      Well you have been assuming me to be her bf, her pelecur friends and whatever not. Its you opinion, its your rights. Its for you to guess.

      Well, now you not only humiliate your ex love, you also generalized all Asian Muslim to be bad just because your stupidity.

      As a Muslim, I will take you on if you really want. Not because I wanted to defend your ex love but because you riducule my belief. I have nothing to do with your ex love or her family nor friends. I fight you to defend my religion. But of course I will not ridicule your religion ( I suppose you are a Christian/Catholic) I respect every people of the book but not you. You don’t deserve an iota of respect as you are the worse HYPOCRITE the world could find..and a sourgrape and A LOSER IN LOVE LIFE.

      Well actually I dont really know your age but I think you can’t be in your early 30 or mid 30 as that would uncover your lies of downing 3 indo guys 15-20 yrs younger than you. But then again it does makes sense for a man in his mid 30s to fight off 3nos. of ten years old boy…hahaha. Ok lets put your age at 50 then, well it makes sense for someone that age to own a private jet, had plenty of money but it makes no sense a man that age to fight off 3 nos. of 30 yrs old guy. Hmmm smell fishy here.. seems to have credibility issues with your story here in this website Have u been drinking to much lately that you start imagining things.

      Well I think its not worth reading all the stories you mentioned here as for all I know only 1/3 are true while the rest are your imagination.

      Go seek help and treatment. Solacement can be a good medicine for you.

      “And ye shall know the truth, for the truth can set you free” John 8:32

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Good evening Oneng.
    Happy to see u again now preaching the word of god that u like most moronic jihadist undersand little of. Oh Yeah, as a military soldier of 25 years, I have seen the work of the jihadist first hand both as a soldier and as a professional in business. Yes I have spent my time in Iran, Iraq, Afganistan, Yemen and the Balkans and witnessed your bloodshed of your own people as well as christians because they refuse to accept your satanic views of the good book inspired by god and handed down to all the great prophets of the bible the greatest of all Mohammad and Jesus Christ. I have seen how u blow up your Mosques and christians churches while the good muslim and christian pray an pay their homage to god. I have seen how you torture our soldiers and others christians u have captured, beheading them because they were infidels. On the otherhand, christian soldiers take your kind into custody and give them, decent clothing, food, humane treatment, and their Koran to read each day. We let the good Muslim then give them fair trial according to Muslim law as practiced in Iraq and Afganistan. I saw your maimed women and men for petty crimes not deserving of such punishment. I saw my son as well who was killed in Iraq, freeing your own kind from clutches of people like you when we served together in that country of crazies like yourself. I saw after he was killed by one of you jidhadist how they ripped his clothes off, mutilated his body after your kind saw him dead with his christian cross hanging around his neck, dragging him thru the streets of Bagdad, hung him in the square upside down and beheaded him in infront of horrified good muslims who practiced their faith with the true understanding of god’s inspired word given to Mohammad. Yeah I have seen your handywork first hand as you spend your days not working but in sloathfulness reading the word of god interpeting the good word of god through Satan’s eyes. At the same time not providing for your families refusing to educate yoursleves that can make a respectable living.

    Nothing wrong with reading the good book as it has a lot to say about how man should live but the majority of muslims as christians do not live the word. So dont give me your Bull#$^$%@of bible verses and how u fight for your religion when I said nothing offensive about muslims but only talk of my experience which I have shared with all whether you like it or not.

    Oh yeah, while i have worked and lived here in Jakarta and BSD I have talked to many of your women all having the same experience with your kind. Here are some of their lines…1) you asked them why are in this dangerous and unhealthy profession of the sex trade. their answer and quoted in the their best English….my muslim husband beat me…..mulsim man no good..I ask Why is that for I have seen good muslims and fought with them in the middle east…they answer they dont work, never have enuf to eat, oppresses me, and the most common line of all…my muslim husband left me and does not give me money for me and children for food, life, and children education.

    So they look for the bull to rescue them from crazies like you. They yearn for the better life that most of you moronic nuts fail to provide for them. I also have heard the stories of the bulls like myself who heard their women stories and look upon them with emphathy. So we with our christian generous hearts and understanding make the innocent mistake of getting involved with them, falling in love with them and their children. But very few of these relationships last or succeed as I found out for ;myself. Most of us get fleeced as we later find out for them it is not about love but only their security. Yeah I supported the Rodiah family clan, gave them a life you jihadist bums could never do, and when the bull has had enuf of their unfaithfulness, theft and lies we toss them out..Then the family considers the bull at fault while forgetting all the bull has done for them. I saw how the boys hung around and for five years never once trying to find work. I saw how they lack ambition as Siti did to improve their life thru education because they did not want to take the time. I saw how when I felt low and bad thinking of my dead son who was killed on christmas day how Siti would just stare at me offering no words of kindness along with the rest of the family..I saw how faithful the spouse is when times get ruft and they panic thinking I would leave like their muslim husbands. No I worked harder to keep my business going and successful. But as it got better all they did is want more…I treadted this muslim like a queen and her family like her court and in the got shit on by these bums. So when they have raped you financially and emotionally they just leave and move on to the next bull.

    You Hypocrite of the great faith of Islam are a disgrace to Mohammad and to god for what you preach. Dont give me your jihadist moronic satanic views of the good word of god. For now I am neither christian or muslim nor an agnostic because of people like yourself. Only 20% of muslims and christians go their mosques or churches regularly. Dont give me the your righteousness as the pharisees of the old testament who thought they were better than the others because they just believed but failed to understand and practice the true nature of gods word.

    Quit staying late of night reading your bible for u do not understand it but only read the literal interpretation of the black and white word. Go to work and make a living jihadist like the good muslims do.

    • Oneng

      Good evening Thomas, its great to see u again here.
      First of all, my condolences to you for losing your son in the war that should not have happened in the first place.

      “Moronic Jihadist”..what a term use to simply label someone as if you are god-given perfectionist. You put yourself and your christian soldiers who are serving iraq as good christians whose intention was to free us from the clutches of our own kind! You spineless bull! We know your real intention you barbaric hypocrites… Its all about oil, plunder and pillage. Don’t act as if you are god send angel to save the world from evil when you are the very evil stealing and robbing others of their wealth. It is people like you that makes other suffer economically in their own country. So what do expect the moronic jihadist to do when you rob away their job & wealth. Say “thank you” to u? You reap what you sow.

      You people supported the corrupt and oppresive leader in the midle east and quickly discard them when they are of no use to you anymore. Our Saddam is a good example of how you hypocrites dump the very person who supported you to fight against the mullah way back in the 80s. So please dont act heroic here and claim to be a generous christian soldiers who provide humane treatment when you have Guantanamo. HYPOCRITES!!!

      You may be right with the reason these women gave when asked why they are into this dangerous and unhealthy trade.. But what you failed to understand is that does not only happen in this muslim country. It happens everywhere all over world and it so just happen that you experience it in this muslim country. When I was in Philippines I heard the same answer too…”my husband dont care about me and children.. only know and want to sing sing and drink”…so you see it happens everywhere in this world. Its the socio economic situation that determine it.

      Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. MATTHEW 7.1-2

      Lies, cheat and deceit are everywhere for as long as there are hypocrites.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah
    Do u enjoy your picture of counting your money u earned in Turkey while I worked my 13 hour each day while u and your sister played with the boy friends. Oh yea the closeup reveals about 400USD Equivalent, Yes this was left on my camera that u forgot to remove. U remember u tried to steal it before I caught you at the airport and asked u nicely to give my camera back to me. Then U said no I gave it to you. Oh yes another attempt by you to steal something from me. You up to your old style again with the boys?

    I saw you few weeks ago sitting on the bench. Funny, fhen I first met u, 6 years ago, u used to dress very nice, dresses and such. Hmmm 32 years old with an 9 year old son and were dressed in a short skirt that barely covered your rear end. When u sat down u were proudly displayed the most productive part of yourself showing thru you the pretty underwear you were wearing for all the passerbys to see.

    Perhaps u are dressing more like what u really are these days…

    Felt a embarassed for you actually and ashamed I allowed myself to associate with a woman like you. A 32 year old woman with a young 9 year old son still dressing like a young teenager or young twenty year old hooker. Or is that the way your Bulls likes to see you these days.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah and sister komo
    Hope u both like your pictures gracing the front cover of the circulation going out soon. Just a late change being made now. :The other countries are getting many hits with what is out there now. Just got Ian’s address as well. Debating now whether to send them a personalized copy. Have not decided yet.

  • Lunna1979

    @Thomasmartin2004: you are such a desperate man, sending me email to my personal address and insulted me cause Im an Indonesian woman getting married with an American man. It’s YOU who have a problem here!!! Just so you know, Im a quite good looking Indonesian woman and I could just date any guy I want, but Im DO NOT HAVE any superficial thought like you. Im sorry to hear about your love life. It seems like you are a broken-hearted desperate man because you always had the wrong women in your life. Dont take out your pain to us!!. I had dated with some rich handsome white men before and also some handsome handsome men and I never asked any cent from my exes if I want to buy something. I work and Im proud of being what I am, I have pride and it’s something that most people don’t have theese days!!!. Not all women are into MONEY!!! My husband is a mailman, a carrier for USPS!!! and I never see him less than a man for what he does. I love and trust my husband no matter what my family, my friends or even the whole world say about us. SO GET A LIFE instead of talking about shits and hatred here!!!

  • Lunna1979

    Who says true love doesnt exist?? It does exist in the hearts of honest good couple who don’t take advantage on one another!!! I love you baby…!!!!!

  • Lunna1979

    When you ask me to marry you, I would say :

    YES… I will be your best friend for life, I will be the one who makes you fried rice and does the laundry, I will be the one who shares your fun, your sadness, I will be the one who listens when you have a bad day, I will be the one who holds you when you are sad, I will be the one who dances every slow song with you, I will be the one who is waiting at home with the lights on for you to come home from work so that my day brightens, I will be the one who walks hand in hand with you, I will be the one who accidentally washes a black sock with your blue work shirts so they all turn grey!, I will be the one who remembers your birthday at August 13, I will be the one who knows how to piss you off in 2 seconds flat, I will be the one who goes Christmas shopping with you and buys gifts for your family, I will be the one who holds you down and tickles you till you cannot stand it anymore and then make sweet love to you-till you cannot stand it anymore, I will be the one that gets b**chy and you’ll have to put up with me, I will be the one who loves every ridiculous little thing about you, I will be the one who will be able to finish your sentences for you, I will be the one who waits for you when you come home from playing pool or dominos and I am gonna wait for you in the nude, I will be the one that you remember how much I don’t like pork so you will need to brush your teeth before kissing me, I will be the one to accompany you on long car trips and bore you with my silly jokes, I will be the one who gets jealous If I catch you looking at another girl and I will be the one who makes you sleep on the couch if I find a lipstick mark on your shirt!!! , I will be the one who remembers all of your stories from growing up and be interested every time you retell them, I will be the one who finds you fascinating, I will be the one you take to Disney world to beat up Donald duck and I’ll be the one that wishes you best luck when you gamble in Vegas on our honeymoon, I will be the one that you will make the best chicken with mushroom sauce for, I will be the mother of your CHILDREN, however many you would want to have, I will be the one who makes their Halloween costumes, I will be the one who gives you a look every time you say a bad word in front of the kids, And I will be the one who takes ordinary words and turn them into bad words cause they annoy me!, I will be the one who begs you to spoil our kids, I’m sure you know!, I will be the one to love them so that they never have to feel insecure, I will be the one to get up in the middle of the night with the baby-half the time!, I will be at your son’s every soccer, hockey, football game, I will be at your daughter’s every soccer and hockey game, every dance rectal and cheer leading performance, I will be the one who holds your kids when they cry , I will be the one who bandages every banged knee, I will be the one to leave out some of the details of when we met while the kids are young , I will be the one who sings them the lullaby and puts them to sleep, I will be the one who takes the pain of giving birth of your children and cusses you a lot for making me pregnant, I will be the one who smiles cause she is nervous when your babies get their own shots, I will be the one who cries when their birthdays come because they grow up too fast, I will be the one who dresses them oddly at times cause I have NO fashion sense, I will be the one who keeps your bed warm for you when you are about to sleep, I will be the one who will tease and entice you all day long- but you won’t regret it come night, I will be the one who wants to make love to you every single night, but who may need your understanding when the kids have given me a hard day and just want to be held, I will be the one who cannot keep her hands off you, I will be the one who smiles back at you on your wedding day, I will be the one who promises to love and honor you until death tear us apart, I will be the one who cries when you pledge yourself to me, I will be the one who wears your ring for as long as I live, I will be your wife, and I will be forever your best friend for life. I love you baby!!!

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Lunna 1979

    Sorry I mistook you for another person. I had earlier received an email from a friend of Siti. I was told you were actually her using another handle which I had found so common for her. In order to catch her in what I she was doing I had all of her handles traced. Yes she had quite a few. The detective I hired to catch her was in error and I was wrong for not checking it as I had done with the others previously. Somehow your link came up and I dont know how.

    My deep apology for mistaking her for you. I have read your posts and think you are a very good person actually. My heart felt congrats to you and the husband. Please accept my apology as I am terribly sorry for the error

    Yes I am deeply hurt by this woman and cant forget it. Why I dont know…is all she has done which is, I admit, all new to me.

    Yes Oneng and I have a battle going on but althought he and I have much different view points I dont hate him..just disagree for what he stands for. Yes our exchanges our direct and complete but in the end it will, as in the past, bring us closer to tolerance.

    • Lunna1979

      Thomas, It takes a real man to apologize…I think you are a good person but someone you loved hurt you so bad. Time will heal and I wish you the best, but please don’t bring any religion issues nor anything that might hurt Indonesian people’s feeling ok. There are always good and bad people in any race, religion, tribe, country in this world. You just have to be careful. God bless you!!

    • Oneng

      Dear Thomas…good evening to you!

      Now I feel guilty for the bashing and flaming in my earlier post. I am just an odinary human with weaknesses and sometime emotions gets above rational thinking and we act irrationally. I apologize if I had offended you ..nothing personal just an expression of my own thought process.

      I dont hate you too. We just agree to disagree on certain views and actions. Which along the way makes us understand the different mores and cultures better.

      My heartfelt sympathy for what you had experienced. I can understand how the feeling is like as I had the same experience too. You will achieve nothing if you continue with what you are doing now. For all you know it may take a toll on your health and well being just as it had on me previously. Don’t want you to experience that.. So best is discard the past bad experience and move on. Only God knows, your bad experience may be a blessing in disguise which you may not realised yet.

      All the best to you in your future love life. I pray you get someone that really love and care for you. I am looking forward to you sharing the happy side of the story.

      Salam & have a nice evening!!!

      PS. Is our religious batlle still on?

      Oneng 🙂

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Thank you for accepting my apology.

    • Lunna1979

      you are welcome Thomas 🙂

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    No need to apologize. I am not offended but always resspected your opinion. As a military man, one learns to be direct, to say what u mean and to mean what u say. I would not have respected you otherwise if were politically correct in your statments. Be direct and pointed in one’s communication has value. That is something those in some parts of the world that choose to be politically correct need to learn. In that respect we both know the value of direct and pointed discussion in standing for what one believes. Out of direct and pointed communicative conflict comes understanding and friendship. I dont know where u live in Indonesia, but when I return from Japan hopefully we can share a dinner together.

    I am a driven individual with more imperfections than perfections. That is my human weakness. I will always be more imperfect than perfect. So please do not feel that you offended me because you did not.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Hey Oneng
    forgot to answer your last question if the religious battle is still on. It is up to you mate…But I prefer my brother to handle that debate. I get drilled each day by him about god. He is a highly religious man like yourself and a scholar of the 7 main religions in the world. Actually, he is an engineer but began studying this area years ago when young. He holds 7 phds on the topic. Much better qualified than me. He often called upon to unravel the differences in religious beliefs. He has confered with some of best qualified religious leaders of all the religions.

    We are both military but we are completely different. We both however are dedicated to one thing a common private charity that I own and fund. It is a great charity dedicated to children. I call it “New Horizons for Children. Sad to say I am not a measure against his beliet in god and his complete faith and trust. But, he works on me all the time. Our exchanges can get as intense and you and I have.

    He spends his life running it for me since I am bogged down in business so much. It has organizations in many countries..even one in Malaysia. We have tried to open one here in Indonesia Jakarta but not sure of the tax code structure arrangements.

    After involvement in many shity military conflicts I saw the toll it took on the innocent of all; the children and it bothered me. When I returned home, the idea came to me do something for children. Never thought to act on it but the idea somehow got buried in my heart like a thorn. My brother said to me god is talking to you because he know once u begin something u become driven. He wants u to do it so do it. So I said to Mikel, talk to me I have never served him like u,…I dont even know him. Mikel said do it, lets see what happens then. So I did… He was right…dont know if it was just an idea or god…but he was right about one thing….once I commit to something it is a done deal. so it thrives in many countries now. Still not a measure to any religious man but if I do anything right in life it will be that charity and my business that funds it…

    So if u want to scrap again I up always for a good one as long as you realize at the end of day I dont carry it with me as I forget it and we still remain friends. But we will have to keep it on a more civil tone for those polictical correct folks out there that cant take the heat like you and I. I say if these folks cant take the heat they should get out of the kitchen.

    many people in the world are too politically correct for me. I think that is what is wrong with the world. Everyone is afraid to put it out there with their emotions. That is what being human is all about. If we were all perfect I would rather not be in this world. It would be too boring.

    So my new friend fire way u got the first shot.

    • Skeptis

      A great man talking like Abraham Lincoln like he was doing on Gettysburg Address. You writing about crap and useless. I am speak out, so shut up.

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        A person with feelings and emotions and unfraid to show they are human is a person with honesty. A person without all that is just a person that has nothing to say.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    A little note on Marriage and Divorce For Expats

    For you expats out there marrying women from not only Indonesia but from other less developed parts of the world can be treacherous and u need to be cautious before marrying these women. Yes these women can appear exotic, beautiful and sweet unlike the more brasen and self supporting independent western woman.

    For the majority of the expats these marriages do not always work but that does not mean yours will not succeed. However, most expats have only a comfortable wealth and others may of course have a lot more. No matter what your status is u will still need to protect yourself.

    Many of these women are good in nature but they want out of their current life style of poverty or substandard living. They know that the expat life is far better than theirs in spite of the fact that in their own country they are not considered rich but are just normal professionals making a good living for themselves. They can be very deceiving in ;their quest to improve their lives. You may think your lady has her eye on you only but chances maybe , for many expats, their eye is on what u can give them, provide for them, and your wealth. Love may not be their first consideration. It is not that this does not exist in the US and in Europe because it does. Most women will only marry if the man has significant assets. Yes, these women as well exist there too but only more prevalent. Many expats may go to the foreign countries for many and one their reason maybe to escape these western women.

    Marriage in another country is recognized and binding in the United states but not so in many other countries. Many countries forbid the foreigner from owning property so u have to buy it through your wife. She owns it and in divorce it is not a 50-50 split as in the USA and in Europe or Australia. She will retain the property. This applies to other assets you may acquire during your marriage. Also it may in some case apply to assets brought into the marriage. Now in reading current divorce law in Indonesia they proclaims that both the husband and wife are equally represented in the assets. But divorced expats will tell you not the case.. If u have an unregistered marriage it is even worse.

    How do u protect yourself?
    1. Get a prenupt agreement in your country.
    2. Dont get married in that country, Marry in your own country so that the marriage is clearly under divorce arrangement in your country. If you marry and divorce in a foreign country your protections may be limited. Oh she will insist you marry in her country so her family can see it. But dont fall for it. Provide air tickets to fly her immediate family to your country when marrying. Might be costly but in the long run will save you a lot of wealth and headaches.
    3. Prenupt agreements many not be binding in another country
    4. Divorce in your country since you are protected there
    5. Do not acquire property in that country. Rent only.
    6 Many of these women will beg you silly to buy a big home for them in foreign lands because they know the law and you dont.
    5. These points come from the experience of many expats who have made the mistake to marry and divorce within the same country and summary advice of lawyers assisting expats in that regard.
    6. Dont tell them what you own and dont be a nice person and include their names on any of the properties and assets you may own before you marry. I hid my assets and company I own from my former love who you all may know her in these posts it saved me a lot of headaches in the long run because she was a gold digger only and fooled me completely.

    Divorce is a nasty business and the man will be surprised to know that when a woman’s security is at stake, they can turn into a hateful machine absent of emotions and feelings for you.

    The rules are not universal in all countries since everything varies from country to country.

    So expats be careful out there.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Thank yoy for your blog opinion. It is demonstrative of the majority of the bulls who have had the misfortune of marrying your type of Indonesian woman. You certainly lay a firm counterpoint to the opinion of the good indonesian women that have responded on this site affirming a more positive viewpoint of the indonesian woman. Theirs of course is the affirmation that I choose to believe in. It is one that assures a more healthier model to aspire to other than someone like yourself.

    Your humor indicates your insensitivity and selfish perspectvie that so many Bulls have experienced. Your subsequent words of advice urging women to become independent of couse is one I have always supported. But the problem you face in that aspiration is that u pursue a course which advocates using the bulls to get what you want so you can be independent. So the philosophy of your type to find the bull, lay them, use them and then when you get what you want then disgard them does not serve to better the image of the more wonderful indonesian women. Your opinion soils the image of the few educated classy indonesian women which I believe is the more solid perspective to believe in. Women like you are a dime a dozen and can be found in any bar in jakarta. So congrats in being part of that group.

    So in all your opinion supports my original premise of my experiences. Many thanks for affirming my original thoughts which are not how I think currently.

    Thanks to all of those other more classy women out there who have presented a more beautiful picture of the indonesian women. Where they are I dont know. For now, I use the Siti Rodiah types to measure against the women I meet to ensure I dont meet another like her or you Muli.

    Yes women like you will always need a hand as you asserted earlier. For your quest of independence and to maintain as you phrase it “the simplicity life” do not exist side by side”. The life of the entrepreneur does not include simplicity but complexity, long hours, hard work and fortitude which women like fail to deal with because you pursue that which is easy and not hard.

    Yes you represent your kind well.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah again with Turkish Friend
    Notice on her left hand she is wearing our prenupt band a sign of her pledging herself to me for future marriage.

  • Asmara

    My husband of 15yrs had flings with a few and serious affair with Indonesian women while on and the pretext of business trips. He thought what I don’t know, doesn’t hurt. Well I found out, I was devastated. And him, the cocky bastard that he was, tried to wriggle his way out by adding lies and then again more lies. He supported her with money every month. Dine/party with her and in return gets pampered like a movie star.
    She don’t care if he’s married or not. He doesn’t have to be single to be a target.He’s not even a Bule. Just the fact that he’s (supposed to be) rich is more than enough to play the game.
    He didn’t give me allowances or bring me to places. My job is stressful, have kids to attend to and hardly have time for myself, let alone to pamper the bugger. But that doesn’t mean I’ve not done my duties as a wife.During this time, I watched him changed, he dressed 10 yrs younger, late nights, stops praying, doesn’t pay attention to the family and he won’t sleep with me. Yet, he said he still loves me and he will never divorce me 🙁
    A year later he realized that the other woman has been fooling behind his back with a strings of Bules, is actually married with a husband somewhere in the village and that his money for their love nest all gone.
    He call it quits, took a while for him to forget her. He began to miss certain aspects of our marriages and the kids. He begged for forgiveness.
    Well, I learn to forgive but I simply can’t forget. Ever.
    I gave him the ultimatum that if it happens again he will never see me and the kids again.
    A cheater will always be a cheater. I pay attention to the red flags as they come and address them.
    I make sure that I live with the pain, he will live with the guilt.

    So much damages had happened to families whose husband are involved with these women. Some families survived, sadly some don’t.
    And these husband stealers, they don’t give a damn. They just move on to the next Bozo.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    So terribly sorry for your circumstances. I would not be terribly surprised if one his many girl friends was Siti Rodiah my lady of 5 years. I had to hire Interpol police investigators to find out what she was doing. Devastated me as well. It has taken so long to get over this Pelecur (whore) and I dont know if I ever will recover.



      • Thomasjktindonesia

        Forget and try to get money back.  if you are not from Indonesia and citizen there is no way you both can get the money back..The basic fact is we are infidels….and they dont care for us…It is the Muslim way…all countries…my email is thomasjktindonesia@yahoo.com..  send me your contact details and we will exchange what we know…when u send me contact info i will send u phone number… I know how to find her believe me….Have not looked for coz trying to get her out of my mind but now you have spurred my interest again.. God bless u mam for your courage FRIEND

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Well Siti Rodiah
    Sorry you new Boy Friend, who you took up your life with only after two week, after I threw you out has left. For I threw u out for your innumerable infidelities, lies and stealing. Within two weeks u went to Singapore with him on one of your countless sex trips, you had take with other men while with me, for 10 days.

    Then upon your return trip u sent me an email boasting how u found another man for your life and that you are madly in love again. You were so smug in your emails to me boasting about your latest conquest of a new man so quickly …Hmm..same pattern you had with me. Yes I was the one that remained sleepless night after night for the last 5 months thinking of you and him in my bed, in my house, enjoying all that I had purchased for you worthless bastard family. Sounds like someone is desparate for a different man to take care of her since she is too lazy to work for yourself.

    Sounds like perhaps he found out somethings he did not know about you as disclosed in our relationship story. Perhaps he did not know how u were living with me, supporting you and your entire family, while you slept with him and others. Perhaps you lied to him many times like you did to me.

    I noticed how you gave all my furniture to your extended family and convinced him to buy you a whole house of newer goods. Perhaps he figured it out how you took all the cash in our bank account that in essence is what I saved from my hard work.

    Perhaps, yes he is a wiser man than me finally determining that he did not want to be another one of your victims like I was. Perhaps he did not like the fact that your life as a ayam and you continuing it when with me, as before where you had a myriad of men in your bed over 8+ years of your life. I was the one that forgave your prior life, loved you and took care of u, your son, and entire family. In the end I got nothing but pain.

    But do not dispair, I know you have a limitless list of men in your life that are foolishly waiting to take their place beside you in the kingside bed I had purchased for you, enjoy the household furnishings that he and I had purchased for you.

    So just place a notch in the wood headboard as another man in, another man out and for the next that will be in your bed within two weeks. Oh yes, I will hear like him about your next trip to Singapore for 10 days and how you will be madly in love with another man. As said by someone’s earlier post “girl you have serious issues”!. The internet is full of such stories of the bulls that have been fleeced by women like you in Indonesia. Anything I can do to keep those honest bulls away from you women I will do. I do not want them to suffer like I have.

    Your pattern of life continues and our son is the one that suffers the most from your life’s folley.


  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah
    I am really sorry that your boyfriend has left. You sent me an email saying I can have my big laugh now. Well, unlike you, I do not take pleasure in the pain of others, even you, as much as I despise you while at the same time harboring strong internal feelings for you. Then a thought occurred to me. I hope u are not expecting. If you are yeah as said in another earlier post “Girl you have serious issues!”

    A lady said to me the other day you are cantik. I said only on the outside. On the inside she is a treacherous woman.

  • Viva Las Vegas

    Siti Rodiah cantik?
    Tsk..You must be kidding.
    My grandmother is cantik. Hands down.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Oh Siti Rodiah.
    Another one of your damn lies. You told me your boyfriend had left. You know the one you had chose to live with after two weeks after I threw you out because of your constant lies, infidelities, and stealing. To test you, I offered you assistance because I did not want our son to suffer and be deprived of anything during your difficult time. You refused….wonderful! So u lied again because I know you would never turn down money…u know that which you worship more than anything in your life.

    I would like to see the little sweet innocent boy Raehand that I loved, helped raised, sent him to one of the finest schools in indonesia. He is as much as a part of me as you. But in turn You want me to stop writing of our factual relationship when together for 5 years. You remember that offer where u said stop writing about us if you want to see Raehand. Another damn lie of yours and I knew it.

    Thanks Las Vegas for your comment. I used to think this woman was beautiful but as said by others on this site. Beauty is only skin deep. Deep inside she is ugly.

  • Dinar_87

    im an indonesian women….
    i think indonesian women very attractive physically
    but, about behavior and character …. i think, u must know it better
    not all good… not all bad
    basically same in this world, justttt…. we are, Indonesian women, have good appearance and good looking that be given from God…. just it. So, when u are being started a relationship with an indonesian lady, pls know her heart… cos that’s the most important not just physical beauty.
    I think this is the formulation for all relationship 🙂
    God bless

    • Lunna1979

      When a guy tells you that you’re hot; he is looking at your body. When a guy tells you that you’re pretty; he is looking at your face. When a guy tells you that you’re beautiful; he is looking at your heart. All women are pretty, no matter what the skin color is, but beautiful….umm…let their hearts say…:)

      • Jeffzeigler

        Just to add look deep like I did and take your time. Its is amazing how much one can learn of their mate they love. Check them out on the web like I did. Follow their trail. The internet is wonderful and open blogs uncontrolled are a great source of information. I just googled my mate’s name and found a world of interesting things I did not know before such as different names she was using, advertising themselves on a multitude of dating sites etc. Once I tracked all of this with purchased software I got the emails correspondences. A whole new world was discovered. So be wise and observe your mate closely. Trust your mate but verify that is my motto.

        • Jeffzeigler

          Received this from Thomas Martin in a private email to me.

          Yes I did the same Jeff and found my love Siti Rodiah on so many sites advertising herself. Now the other day I, without even looking for her, a popup window advertisement appears featuring yours truly on Russiandarlings. com. Yes she was the lady of the month. She had been a member since 2008.
          at that time we almost married but I delayed it after hearing the stories of many expats in Indonesia. About that same time, I started to suspect her other men adventures. ]

          This woman’s horror seems to have a continuous internet trail. I dont even have to search for her anymore and she just appears on different web sites. I am so thankful to god he saved me from this woman’s nightmare

    • Mark

      yah same good and same bad, that wherever you go

      but i think indonesia women more nice and lovely

      i go to plaza indonesia every days since i live here in jakarta and i look to indonesian women who s they friendly

    • Amazingly awesome list. I have been giving it some rep on twitter as well as some floats! Cheers,

    • Juda_Isreal

      Saya dipaksa untuk menulis kepada Anda Saya memuja kata-kata kamu memberitakan Anda akan membuat seorang pria layak istri yang luar biasa

  • Jeffzeigler


  • Thomasjktindonesia






  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Response to Michael who responded to Dyakculture9
    Yes Michael I agree that most indonesian ladies have got to be the worst I have ever met. Dont be afraid to generalize. Say it like it is. After reading Dyakculture9’s story about how his lady try to poison him I wonder now if we had the same ,ady at different times. Although Siti Rodiah did not poison me, dyakculture9 story is almost a repeat of mine. The worst thing about these women is they have absolutely no remorse for what they do.

    Now some ladies say not all are like the ones we have had and I believe that to be true but they are surely in the minority for everyone I meet they are the same as the Siti Rodiah’s (passport name Rodiyah) I have had.

    Expats once again be warned of the trouble you head for when you meet these women. Be careful that the one you meet is not like most u will meet.

  • Mark

    you arr right

    more important s heart

    • Ashiq_ae

       More important is heart for men from other countries. And more important from indonesian women is having sex only with men…………………

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    in response to Mark
    Yes I look at the heart only these days. SITI RODIAH, the topic of many discussions on this site, is one for sure u want to stay away from. Like most of the ladies u will meet in Indonesia, they look sweet, act so charming, and lead u to their personal slaughter once they get u within their grasps. Forget the wonderful looks, the charm, and those wonderful looking bodies in the sack. Aim for the heart and see if it is pure and not black as the ones u will meet in the bars and niteclubs. Siti Rodiah’s heart is so black that it could never be pure again. see her pics below so u can avoid this one see the posting 3 days ago titled SITI RODIAH OF PAMULANG, BSD, BOGAR, BANDUNG,JAKARTA


  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Response to Mark
    thanks for the tip the PLAZA. Maybe I will go there. If u say they are nice there maybe that is the difference. The nice ones true of heart. I had read on several sites that the good ones are found there. So maybe u are right. But stay out of the nite clubs that is for sure. Your SITI RODIAH is surely waiting for u there

  •  my opinion is stereotyping is not a cool thing to do.. 

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah
    Some friends the other day stop me to say that they say the ex love.  They thought she looks a little expecting.  But I would not know, I have not seen her for a month…dont want to actually.  She is a memory that I just want to forget forever.  If she is, I would not be surprised.  From my experience, she never met a man she could resist; especially if they were rich… She has had a litany of men in her as a professional girl friend.  Who wants a woman that constantly lies, has multiple affairs and then steals from you.   

  • Ashiq_ae

     Indoneisan women they wants tomuch sex. they dont wnat anything else. when they are going abroad they are making relationship near about 90% womens. and they are making sex before getting married. and before they are having sex they are making love and they are saying that that man is her destiny and after her time is finished for abroad life then they are saying we can’t do anything …………….bla bla bla.this is their real habbit.But they are very polite in their own country. in middle est if somebody will listen about Indonesian women they are saying about indo women that they are nasty……………………
    I am not lying because i have somany proves about those womens from Indonesia.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Sorry to hear about your experience with Indonesian women…My experience the same.   Was her name Siti Rodiah?  Well if it was, I would not be surprised.  She is was my Indo experience.   Yea she graved sex all the time day and night..A real Nymphomaniac  .Then got pregnant twice…one I dont know if mine or not.  The second for sure was not mine.  Now I hear from my friends that she is pregnant again.. Well I wonder to who that man is or was.   Most likely she does not even know.  Even her little child who is the greatest little person does not even know who the father is…Of course when I approach her about all of this,  all I heard was how much she loved me..Oh yeah!! They use that line like a little child who cant get enuf of candy.  Love means nothing to women like Siti Rodiah.

    They use sex to get money and men coz most are uneducated and poor and these are the ones that are too damn lazy to go to work…So they use their sex to attract men and trap them in taking care of them..

    Sounds like u ran into Siti Rodiah or one of her many protoge’s.  There are many of them just like her.   Yes you are right. Dont pay them anymore money.  Just leave…I finally had to throw my Siti Rodiah out.  See her picture scattered througout this blog in many other Post talking about her.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    I do believe all Indo women are not like her but the majority are… 

    • Marko_f98

      yes  that  right, not all women  in indonesia same
      but also i have  bad experience here  in jakarta  with a  i don  t say  her  name   but she  s a doctor  in cirbon city 

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Sorry to hear that Marco…
    It just seems that the Siti Rodiah type women are all over Indonesia.   Funny as it is also, these women have so many handles ID in the net that even they get confused who they are.  Siti Rodiah real name is spelled Rodiyah in her passport. She had so many handles that it actually gave her away… That is how I found out about all her other men.  Now I get emails from some of her boyfriends telling me they did not know about me…Funny how that works with these tramps….Siti was nothing but a liar, cheat, and thief.  Siti Rodiah must have trained all these girls in Indo because they are all like her. 

    Dont forget about her sister Komo too.  Her pic is on this blog as well.. She is the married one that has boyfriends as well. 

    At least your whore was a doctor. My whore was too lazy even to read a book.. All she wanted to do was stay in bed all day and make babies so she could trap men into paying for her.  Now she is PREGNANT from what I hear from friends.  So I wonder who she trapped this time.  As I said before she probably does not even know who the father is. 

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Response to Soyadi’s email to thomasjktindonesia
    yea man u got rid of her that was the right thing to do…Sorry u had to find out about all of her boyfriends.  But what else you going to do..stick around and tolerate that…

    It is funny that her name was Siti as well like mine but, that is a common name in Indo…But since she had many guys too the name fits that is for sure..Perhaps her last name was Rodiyah but she spells it Rodiah…Her full  name is Siti Rodiah and has a sister just as bad Siti Komomaryia.  Not sure if the last name is spelled correctly.  She has brother eddi and Iwan.

    If those are her family siblings name yes it was her.  I would not be surprised.  Mine like yours, it seems, was like a female dog in heat…Sees a man and well u know how they work now.  They just cannot resist a man.  I guess you were not strong enuf as mine told me…She needs STRONG MAN!!!!. Sorry guy but got to be careful down here.   Well next time u are down here in Indo. u have my contact info.  Look me up..



      • Thomasjktindonesia

        Yes when I found out about all her affiars I three her out in November..Unforntuanately that when she was with me in Turkey. So when she got home to Indo she changed all the locks and I could not get back in….Yea April is when I heard from her last about how Boy friend left her…she blamed me for my postings on this blog but I knew deep inside something happened other than that…Good for you that you did your own investigation.   I am so glad u found out although I know it hurts the both of us. I am so glad we have had chance to communicate

        we were together for five years…she got pregnant twice during that time frame…the first one i dont know if mine or not but the second was not for sure that is when I began to investigate her with private detective…I hacked all of her emails, skype accounts,  etc.  she had so many ID’s it was incredible…I have about 30 of them now altogether…

        I only hear from my friends she is pregnant and about 4-6 months they say…But I have not for myself verified it as I dont want to go thru that agony.  But look it could  be anyones since she had many men at the same time.  Your husband and I were not the only men in her life I can guarantee that. 

        Hard telling if she used the money for the advance rent given to her by your husband…but I dont know when I came home for short trip I went to the house and no one was there…I was told by the neighbors that she went to Jakarta with Raehand to stay with her boy friend.  Since then I know about other trips takes with him since then. 

        When I looked in the house thru the window she had received a new house full of furniture.  It was very expensive.  Looked like it would have cost between 15 and 20 thousand USD or close to it.  But she could have bought it with the money she took from me…

        Just before that she ask me,  when I was in my Australia home fixing repairs, to send her money for trip for her and her son Raehand(8 years old who I adored) so they could go to Malaysia or singapore.. That is just after the time riod I found out about your husband and her trip to singapore with her for 10 days….But I refused and stopped sending her money altogether..  When she joined him in signapore and thailand I was still sending her money because of her son..Then I stopped shortly after than when I learned of your husband. 

        There are posting throughout the blog and I would suggest you read them all so u can know what your husband has been with.  I would have him also do medical check to protect yourself.  she worked as a whore for 9 years before I met her…and after we met she continued her men affairs without my knowledge.  Knowing the cost of living for her my accurate estimate comes to hundreds of men she has slept with. I figure close to 400 minimum after I researched her

        Anyways I wish you would talk direct to me…U have my emails…give me your contact info and we can talk.  so sorry for your misfortune….This is real shock for me but happy I know.  Every day I find out more as other Boyfriends come from nowhere and tell me they did not know about me.  So it has been very painful…

        I own 17 companies world wide in many countries so I travel all the time…so she had the perfect opportunity with me to keep her trade going…

        Please lets us talk in person.  It is 8am here in jakarta…let make arrangements to talk between ourselves…oh by the way we never offically registered a marriage in Indonesia.  So there was no need for divorce..In indonesia one can get married in muslim ceremony but if not registered with the government it is not legal or recognized by the government. Anyways better be sure he did not marry her legally there because if registered she has rights against him…and your husband did know she was with me when he began seeing her. 

        Your Friend

        Tom Andreaus Martin  

        • FRIENDS


          • Thomasjktindonesia

            I understand from my friends she is living in nice home.  They say she is gettng money from somewhere.  So maybe your husband seeing her still.
            Are u and your husband now living together or do both of you live in separate countries?  
            You ask for your husband money back from her in Poundsl.  Are u or your husband or both brittish?
            Why are u posting your commentaries under “Friends” and not under your originall handle Asmara where I replied to u inititally.  
            Is your husband rich and is he actually Indonesian since in your original posting u said he is not a bule?
            I may have met him not knowing who he was. 
            What is his job?

            Yes what u say in your orginall posting under Asmara is very interesting to me. 

          • FRIENDS

            My husband is a british, maybe you saw him in indonesia with her. For what he said, Siti told him that you left her because of him, she is a very good actress i think. Im an asian but not indonesian nor thailand, i will tell you everything when we have time to chat. im sorry, i cant give you my information, ill try to send you email in thomasjktindonesia@yahoo.com, i try if this a right email add of you. i hope im very smart if this is right!!

          • Thomasmartinjktindonesia

            In March of 2010 when I was home from working in Africa I noticed she had been receiving many calls and texts on her Blackberry.  Each time she would go into one of the bedroom and lock the door to have her discussions.  Then see would text and make sure I was not looking…But I checked your BB and noticed that the calls were coming from an area I did not recognize.  So they were coming from all over.  Then  I checked her passport and found that she had taken trips to singapore that I did not know of…Then from the texts it appeared he was Brittish or american. So I tested her by saying to her lets go to Sinapore or Thailand for a few weeks before I have to return to Africa.  she refused and became very nervous when I kept questioning her why…Then I noticed jewelry and watches I did not buy her and ask where she got them.. She said a very good friend..So I said a friend and said who then she said a girl friend.  Well that jewelry and watche were very expensive so I knew it was not a lady or girl friend. Then shortly afterwards she telll me she is pregnant and has to have abortion for medical reasons.  I ask her the reason and she told me…I asked her long was she and she said about 2-3 months…Then I knew it was not mine because after the first child I began tracking her fertility cycle.  In the time period I was working in Africa.  so it was not mine. 

            Then when in Turkey with me I actually threw her out of our place in Istanbul in Novemeber after learning of all of her affairs and about your husband which I knew of since March.  I figured the child was either his or anothers.   Did not know for sure.  So after I threw her out she returned to Indonesia and announces to me she is taking trip with a man to singapore late November for 10 days. I tracked her and they stayed at the Singapore Las Vegas resort area which is the newest cansino for Las Vegas Sands .  She posted her picture with him on her web site.  She did not know I had found her web site.  When she learned of the investigation on-going from me she took it down.  Then in December she ask me for money to pay the bills for January.  I refused…saying get it from you many boyfriend and especially from your brittish man.  Then she wrote me back saying she wanted to take trip with her son and mom to singapore or Bali. I refused again. then I tested her by saying tell me what the bills are for and I will pay them… Then she tells me she dont need my money anymore.  She has money coming in.  Well When I returned in December I went tro the house to confront your husband and no one was there.  I asked the neighbors and the guards in security where she went.  The neighbors said she went to jakarta to stay with her boyfriends.  The guards said they thought all were taking a trip somewhere…then I began posting on this site in hopes people would come forward.. Well they did… that is when I confirmed her husband was brittish.  She then emails me in April and tells me that your husband left her because of my blog postings but I knew that was not the case.  U see she and her sister are pathological liars.  cant beleive a world they say…Then in May I had one of my hired agents go to the house to see if she was there.. She had moved all was gone.  But Now I am tracking her again and will find her.  She is still in indonesia

            I threw her out because of your husband and others I knew in the past…He spent a lot of money oh her from my agent reports and gave her multiple thousands. 

            Look please tell me
            are you and your husband still together.  Dont divorce him because he cannot legally marry her under the current laws in indo because of the documented and certified paperwork he must get from where you two were married.
            Was he traveling in May to one of those countries coz she was with someone I know. 
            We can talk soon as far as I know more from you.  coz I think she is stillwith him because she is living in a very nice home……

          • Thomasjktindonesia

            Asmara and “Friends”
            What is your husband name in full.  Siti has used so many handles not using her name but perhaps his name or some form of his name…
            Also u said that your husband is not a bule…That means he is indonesian.  Well Siti is Indonesian. She was born there and still lives there. Yes she has traveled much since we broke up. 

            Was your husband in Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia or Thailand in May.  If so, I can tell u other information.  But she may have been visiting with someone in May…from what my sources say.   

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        Forgot to mention that I have not seen her at the house…All the furniture was gone but dont know if your husband took it back or what.  if he took it back then she may be still there and maybe getting back my furniture from relatives she gave it to…or if she has moved then she took it or kept your husbands money.  and did not pay the rent as he may think.  so with the funds she stole from me plus his money she probably has purchased a smal home in a smaller nearby community.. or maybe she did use the money for another house somewhere else to rent..  I live nearby but have been traveling quite a bit so I have not been back much since March…My friends keep me abreast of her activities…Now that there are two of us she has stolen from I am anxious to begin legal proceedings against her….My investigator says and my friends say she knew about u as well.  But see these Indos dont care…They just want lots of sex and the money..  I found that out the hard way.  and shee is a nymphomanic.  Sorry for that term but it describes her well.  She has sister as well.  They both are patho liears so dont count on her for any infor. If yu want her email I can give it to u. She has too brothers as well.  they were most likely complicit in the situation as well as both dont work and need her money to survive.  Indos by nature are very lazy…Her mother too will be complict in this as she depends on siti.  these ladies and their families are like leeches…Keep that in mind.  The fact she is trying to bribe him I am not surprised.  They will do anything for money…Believe me I know…and found out the hard way….

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Well receiving continued interest in Siti Rodiah if she pregnant and unmarried once again.  Welll I forwarded these earlier messages to her asking she confirm…Well  she has not emailed me and after knowing her for so many years that is the way she confirms things…She refuses to respond and avoids the question.  I dont know if she will abort this one or not like the last time she got pregnant to another man when we were together.  Well perhaps another child coming into this world who will not know its father just like the first child she had at 18.  At 32 she is repeating her previous life over and over again.

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Remember Siti’s pictures in this blog throughout.



    • Thomasjktindonesia

      send me your contact details to my private email address thomasjktindonesia@yahoo.com   include your phone number so we can chat…the I will give u my number in return for private chatting about this…Thanks so much

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Well my friends out there I never expected to see this. Who ever this person is “Friend” I thank you so much for reading this blog  

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        yes the time period of the rent ending and what he paid for 2 years in advance is correct.  My original contract for the home was for two years as well.  Yes YEs YEs these details are correct…Please contact me at the emails i have listed in previous. thomasjktindonesia@yahoo.com. Please include your phone number so we can talk.  Also i will give u mine in exchange.. I do have all of her private information, bank accounts, all addresses, etc.   Now that we have similar information we can pursue civil law against her.  I will check with my lawyer.. Civil law is for non muslims that have been harmed by muslims…since there are two us we may have some grounds now..God be with you Mam…She has hurt us both deeply…I can tell u these muslim women have no remorse for what they do..They are opportunist and use their beauty to catch the foreign men and give them sex freely in exchange for money for themselves their children, and family…By the way she is expecting from what I hear from my friends.  Dont know if it is your husbands or not….It could be anyones as these women tend to have many boyfriends and husbands at the same time to secure their livelyhood….

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          Forgot to mention Friend   *( am aware now of the trip to singapore, Malaysia and Thailand not sure.. But Singapore is her favorite…and she travels often she says to me with her sister to Malaysia and Singapore, and Hong kong…Her most recent trips to singapore or malaysia were not paid for by me…so they must have been by your husband..According to my private investigator, they stayed at some very very very nice resort areas.   Well await your email contact info so we can talk…



  • John Boyd

    Response to friends and thomasjkt
    Saw Siti just recently and yes she is looking to me as you both expect. Saw Siti from a slight distance and from the frontal view I saw she looked like her hips have began to spread somwhat and was somewhat bulging in the front.  Her top also looked maternity. 

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Yes I looked at the picture and I must agree with your assessment…Well indonesian scarlet i hope u are happy if u are …u are very heartless anyways by interfering in another man’s marriage and hurting his wife so deeply..Then when he breaks up with you u try to blackmail him by telling him u will tell his wife unless he keeps sending you money every month. You must of known he was married if u threatened those actrions..Must have been a reason for that in that now u must really need the money…Well I hope u can live with what u have done….Took over 100 thousands from me and thousands from him I understand and now this…The way I look at it u have enuf money to take care of your family..Now that his wife knows anyway because she caught him with you I hope he is not a fool to continue to send u money..Sounds like me u owe his wife a deep apology for causing her so much hurt and should return the money.  But we all know that is not how u operate in always justifying your actions. 

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        Forgot to add that this indonesian scarlet sent me a private email saying that her BF left her because of my postings on this site…Well It is so funny how the BF’s wife found out about you as posted in Friends.   So another one of your fabrications in trying trying to justify your actions and what happened to you. 
        Secondly, in the friends postings, when his wife asked him why I finaly left you after five years, he said because of him..and as I replied to friends yes that is true and because of the others. 

        Your lack of a moral compass in your life has unraveled your world.  A temporary lack of a moral compass taught me a lesson I will never repeat..  This BF’s wife saved him from you and your treachorous ways…BF, listen to your wife, and dont be a fool like I was to think this woman loves you because she does not.  Your wife saved u the 100.000 USD plus more this scarlet raped me of plus all of the lies and so on.  Read my story and get the message.  Dont worry about any possible little buns in the oven left behind if any at all. If there is no bun in the oven, she will find another BF within 7 days.  The government cant come after u….U are scott free.  There is nothing she can do…Indonesia is full of these stories  about these kind of women..  My advice live a better life and love your wife more she deserves it…and u deserve a kick in the ass by yourself and by her for being such a fool. 

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Well Siti Rodiah
      Another lie of yours. In march 2010 u denied your illicit affairs with other men. Well turns out since the BF told his wife I left u because of him vindicates my suspicions of your affairs. So I now know u were carrying on with him for almost a year before I threw u out. So that tell me also that the child aborted was his and your action were an attempt to hide it.

      I must admit the current pic I saw also on your Skype account is highly suspect of your current delicate condition. Then u quickly take it down. Hmmmmm?

      Well his wife found out now he is gone. I hope u feel proud of yourself of wreaking another home and hurting another person and then trying to blackmail him to get continuing support. Now you have expanded your career profile: courtesan, adultery, liar, thief, and now extortionists.

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        Such wonderful family values your mother and father have given u. Look all u expats u need to be with these women. Most of these u will meet in indo bars are like this woman. Their only objective in life is to get a foreign man to take care of them. They just want your money and to give them children so u must support them the rest of their lives. There is no love in these kind of women. These kinds of women have had dozens of men in their bed.

        If u want a decent indo woman find one that has a job,responsibility, goals and objectives other than just get maarried and have children. They just want security and nothing else. They also don’t care if u married or not. They are just another Siti Rodiah.

        Siti boyfriend. U got caught by your wife and she has forgiven u. Pray to god that your wife does not find out about any of the buns u may have left in the oven. When she does find out naturally she will skin u alive and whatever. U will deserve it as well as your reputation in life, company and family will be damaged forever. Perhaps your job too.

        If u are wise don’t look back and don’t send her anymore money for the child. Let her live in the evil bed she has made for herself.

        Siti BF u have been caught

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          Correction to one sentence above

          Original sentence: look expats u need to be with these women.
          Correction: look expats u need not to get involved with these women

      • babe

        I hate Indonesian women!!! they are all ugly and whore!! they are so smelly, how men can take their smell!! Men wake up!!!

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          The smell of the pelecur comes from the hundreds of men they have had in their beds and the rotting of their souls. The ugliness of zthe whore come from the looks of their souls.

          Not all Indonesian women are this bad. But there are so many of them it is giving the good ones a bad rap.

          Watch out for the courtesan. These are the ones that not only turn the $100 nightly trick but try to have a relationship with you after they spend time in bed with u or will meet u on the internet and then agree to visit where u are. Another trick of there’s is to act innocent and sweet(Siti Rodiah type) and then will meet u anywhere u r traveling to. These are the dangerous ones that will rape every way possible

        • Guest04

          Hmnn..wow… to make such a blatantly narrow minded comment like this one…Firstly, I’m sorry if you’ve had a bad encounter with Indonesian woman but I must say that I pity you for making this sort of judgement. 

          I’m an Indonesian woman with a good education and I’m currently doing a Bachelors degree the UK with a job in a reputable company might I add, so I don’t spend my time being frivolous and going from one man to another trying to steal their livelihood and money. “Gold diggers” will be “gold diggers”, they are not strictly one sort one nationality, race or religion. They are called con artists not “Indonesian women”

          Both my parents are successful Indonesians, my father has his own petrol/oil company and went to Imperial University in London for his masters and my mother runs a food catering business…so for you to say such a thing is completely disrespectful to me and other Indonesian women who do not fall under this stereotype that you’ve so crassly categorized us in.

          On a side note..this might be difficult for you to swallow…but I, an Indonesian woman, knows how to use the shower so yes  I am hygienic and not “smelly” as you so bluntly put. 

          I’ve come across this “Indonesian woman are cheap smelly, whores” mentality so many times, and it makes me laugh how narrow minded you are, and as I said I pity you. 

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          Well babe just ignore what this well to do indonesian woman says….Some Indo women are good but as said before that is not the norm.  So she is only an exception to the norm..  Good for her that she has left her own country to get away from the stigma of these majority of women in indo. 

  • John Boyd

    Response to friends and thomasjkt
    Forgot to add…she is much heavier that she used to be. she was across from me in open area so I can only comment from what i saw from a slight distance.   Next time I will try to get closer to be more sure.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Oh Siti Rodiah
      Have not u caused enuf damage in your brittish boyfriend marriage and life. He dumped u because he finally figured out what u are and a Pelecur is what u will always be. U have stollen from him over 12’000 pounds or about 16,000 USD. Plus the the monthly living expenses. So quite a haul for short time period. U know your trade well. Well u try to contact again. Are u greedy after all u took from him. Your picture is all over this blog. U are well known. Maybe u are running out of foreign men to financially rape?

      Your false sweet personality and body and sexual advances, and false I love u phrases and sleeping with him was not enuf to fool him in the end. HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. Ur charm has run it’s course. You have a little boy and u need to take care of him instead of leaving him to your complicit mother to raise while u fly off to Thailand, singapore and other countries. Focus on being a good mother for once instead of being a good Pelecur. Get a real job.

      Oh don’t worry

      • giffany

        where can I see the picture of Siti Rodiah?? im just wondering how she looks like.

  • Paula

    my husband of 30 years has recently left me for a very unattractive Indonesian woman, we are currently living in Australia. I have never met such a calculated devious woman, she befriended our whole family and then moved in on my husband, is this common behaviour of indonesian women. somebody at work said he had been charmed, whatever that is 

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      For the majority of Indonesian women this is common behavior in findinG a man. They do not care if they are married or not. All they seek is money and security. There is no love for the men He will find out. They do not care who they hurt in the process.
      My Siti Rodiah who was unfaithful to me even tried to destroy a brittish man’s marriage after
      I threw her out. Yes it was all about money for her. After I threw her out she was living with a married man from britain within two weeks. His wife lived in hong kong.

      Urge all your friends to read my story and others of their relationships with the unprincipled indo women. They are good ones but they are in the minority.

      • Paula

        Thats certainly the impression I have, I am so shocked at how manipulative she has been, My husband and I only arrived in Australia 2 years ago from the UK, we had a great first year, he was her boss and we would mix socially, we both thought she was a little odd but put alot of the differences down to cultural. I always knew she liked him she was very flirty and was always buying him little gifts and eventually she started bringing his lunches into work ! I dont believe at the beginning of all of this he had any feelings towards her, he definetly did not fancy her, as I said she is a very unattractive woman. She is married and has two small children. She originates from Jakarta  and her father used to be the chief of police so i dont think she is from a poor family, she met her first australian husband on the internet and that is when she first came over to Australia.

        Is it common practise for these women to pick a target, cause problems in that relationship and then move in, this is what I feel she did ?

        I am so sad it has caused massive devastation to my family and my husband appears to have been brainwashed by this woman into believing that he and I were never happy, this just is’nt true

        Its really helpful to get your point of view

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          Like I said before Paula the majority of these women have no life principles.  Most are raised to be like to so that they will always have money and security for thier families and parents….The culture is very corrupt.  Let him have her.  He will find out that the indonesian women cannot be trusted and are unfaithful.   These women crave sex and money…When she is done with him, within a year or two, he will find out…So u have the last laugh…

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          News Flash Update on the famous Siti Rodiah of Indonesia. See her pictures throught this blog
          Just learned from her ex brittish boyfriend who she took about $20,000 USD from is now married and has another brittish boyfriend.

          Well thanks Martyn for the news.  Appreciate your update.  Yes folks within 2 months of their breakup Siti has, according to Martyn, married an American man and also has a brittish boyfrined too who is a pilot…

          Well thanks Siti Rodiah for continuing to validate my experience with you.  She is a desperate woman like most indonesian women.  Well she will find out that pilots have the highest reputation of infidelity.  So looks like she has met someone just like her. 

          Wel Siti you continue on with your courtesan ways….well at least u have found a father to support your new family addition I keep hearing rumors of and your recent pictures show suspect of whoever that father should be..

        • karen jessica nastalim

          so sorry to hear that, Paula.. hope things get better!

  • Pelangi Samudera Hati

    Simply my suggestion… Never find a wife material in a bar….
    Decent Indonesian woman dont drink…dont do one night stand…dont have sex with other man…
    We may need a wealthy man to make sure of our family future… But not that greedy..

    So find better place to meet one of Us… I am sorry for those who find wrong population of our woman…

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Well from my private sources all over indo I have learned that Siti komo the sister of the famous whore Siti Rodiah hs left her husband in Malaysia and took his house….I predicted this months ago as she told me she was going to do it. Since they have been married she like her sister Siti has had many boy friends.  I even posted a picture of him with her on this site so refer to those earlier pictures.  I would have warned Karma her husband but did not know how to reach him as I did not know him personally.. 

      These sisters are both alike.  They use men for their own benefit.  Yes she as her sister slept with these men as well.   So Karma if u read this site u know where to contact me for further information and pictures of your ex whore wife.

      • Frida

        Hi Thomas,,,
        What a coincidence I logged in to this site. And I read the post and comments here. And I almost read all the comments of yours here.

        I am very sorry to hear what had happened to you especially in this issue. I read your comments, and I think they must came from your heart that had been cheated and betrayed after all the trust and love you had given her. I still sense that you’re still having emotional there in your heart about it. I understand it. When you recall it and talk about it again, for sure emotion is involved and brought back. It’s understandable I think. But you have to get over it as you have “thrown” her away as what you described here.

        I may not know how painful the pain caused by this issue in you. But I had been thru the painful of betrayal before. It’s so  so very bad and like hollow in all side of your heart. It’s like the heart itself has lost its shape. Empty and hollow. I dont mean to add things here or tell you whose is more painful. I just try to show you my symphati  based on this point. Be strong and move on with the next chapter of your live and you can make it. Soon or later, things will be back to the right track if you have faith and keep on moving. Get lesson from what you had been thru and try to forget all the pains and start to write the new story in your life.

        Abt Siti or whoever you named her here, or her name is, regardless the religion or faith, attitude or behaviours like that are not what thought by the faith itself. it is all coming back to the personality and mentality of the person.

        Stop thinking and even looking back to the story of her. Dont even let her spin and play your mind. Let all the things about her go and do not keep the hatred or hate in your heart.It will hurt you if so. Move on. It’s a lesson of life. Yes you had paid and spent so much for her in all side of your existances and efforts. It’s painful more or less, but after all the main point is that you are safe from her now. It’s a huge lesson and pain. But you have to let this thing go and you have the new page to write on. Things will be a lot better after this huge lesson. You will be just fine.

        Forget it, move on and find peace in your heart. You will find the right one who will see you with her true heart and desire and has good values in her life. I believe that there are still many good hearted women in this world. You just need to be more carefull of where to find her. That’s what I believe.

        Salam sukses and good luck.

        • Carolbriceno2007

          Well-said Frida!!!

        • Bapakgila

          Truly Frida, your words are wise and we can all learn something from them.  Aku rindu Indonesia

        • sarah

          awesome comment
          Let me share my self story too. Well , i am not a uptown woman, less educated, cant speak english properly Never go to nightclub and spend my day at bookstore or library. I met my husband which is american at bookstore when he had holiday in my city. Short story, i tell her my rules and he knock my parents door for marry me.
          We move to jakarta where he settle. And yah, i got bad respond to about me and my husband. About how i looked with my dark skin and how people think i might a hookers and get him from nightcluB. Proudly i told you guys. At least during him with me , he never go to club or so. For who hurted becausewoman indonesian woman. Make sure where you met her, what value that shed have. Woman who had principe less likely going to cheat. 🙂

          About girls. Just let them. Guy choose you because of your behavior. Prety face, fair skin, sexy body but had no value as wife will be only being bule’s sex toys. Just make sure you show your rules. If somebody thinking bad about you, trust me you are more beautiful than them

    • Agree…with you…:)

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Very true bulls. Met a lady who is just the opposite of the majority of Indonesian women whores one meets there. What the difference? Unlike Siti Rodiah the whore I have written about frequently here, this lady has a job, is self reliant, supports herself and family, relies on no man for assistance and works long hours when she has to. Now that is a woman. Did not meet her in a bar like a Siti Rodiah the whore from Pamulang and BSD in tangerang.

      • Carolbriceno2007

        Good luck with the new girl Thomas!! I’m happy for you, hope she’s the one you have been looking for so long…

      • Achieshop

        you should forget the pass n make a new life with her. She is not Sitti Rodiah n maybe she want you to show that you really want to build a serious relationship with her…
        Women in Indonesia not like a Sitti Rodiah…

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        hey Siti Rodiah and Sister Komo…Happy Holidays u two top indonesian sluts…I see both of u are at it again.   Screwing your way to husbands and the money…One thing a whore cant shake in their lives…

        • Thomasjktindonesia

          oh by the way Siti – forgot to add how much an adultress you were when we were together,  perpetual fornicator, thief and liar and adultress. 

    • Frida

      It’s very true. I am an Indonesian woman. And I myself agree to say to you men out there, both western men and Indonesian men, DOn’t ever find a wife or a spouse or partner or whatever the name is in the bar. As I myself also keep that strong in my mind that I can go spend times at bar with my friends or colleagues, but never have any idea to find a lover there. 

    • Handsome

      Never find a wife material in a bar….
      Decent Indonesian woman dont drink…dont do one night stand…dont have sex with other man…VERY TRUE
      We may need a wealthy man to make sure of our family future… But not that greedy..NOT TRUE.This kind of woman is looking for a wealthy husband, most men in Indonesia will reject a woman who is not a virgin. This is so different in the western world. There are Indonesian women who will love men who are not wealthy

    • The Feature Filmmaker

      yes i agree with you 1000 percent. i have found Indonesian women to be the best there is, and anyone says to me that’s not true, i will argue that statement totally to the end, I have found indonesian women to be the most kindest, warmest, loving, trusting, giving, most dedicated that a man can get, and everything i have to say about indo-women is GREAT, nothing negative at all, i am gonna marry an Indonesian women from east jave, and she is the most beautiful person and woman inside and out, and there is no other place in the world with such women, and i know, i have been a lot of places and toured in popular bands, and have met many, so i agree with you, i have a right to make state this fact, i have the experience

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Martyn Grange of England – home wrecker  and slut chaser…Thanks for breaking up my family…U, at the same time married to a beautiful woman,  chased my wife, got her to sleep with you, even when i was away, stayed at my home in BSD Jakarta, and slept in my bed. U even took her off to other countries…Someone will repay u someday for all that…

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Pictures of your wife when in Istanbul showing the money she earned as a Pelecur.. this was left on  my camera after I threw her and Siti out of my home in Istanbul for whoring around while visiting me…I am sorry u have to know this but it is best u do…She has been planning this for a long time….I could not tell u bcos I did not know how to reach you….the second picture is Siti. As  see both earned a lot of money while they were there….Both pictures show these women with their wedding bans on.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Karma I am sorry she took your house which I know cost u a lot of money…same for siti she took a lot from me as well.. Both are simply whores and they both have strings of men that support them. 

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    You foolish Bules out there…U must pay attention to what is said on this site….My story has been vindicated several times and u must read it to save yourself from the Indon Pelecur….Below are sister whores.  they work together to find each other men to support them and take care of them.. they will sleep with anyone who gives them money.  U have been warned

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Yes Karma, my sources are telling me she is out of town with her other boyfriend.    Siti is dating a brittish pilot with Brittish air and a married american who I just learned of this weekend.  We will be notifying his wife of his doings. 

    Oh by the way the brittish pilot who she thinks is single is married as well.  Well Siti Rodiah u got two men just like yourself…Adulterers just like u… I will be sure to let the communities u live in to know this…Oh yes I know where u are.  

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah and Sister Siti Komo
    Well bules out there these women are loosers….lets look at their lives…
    Siti Rodiah 1. First husband at 18 left her after 6 months….why?  Well sources say she has a big problem with men. 2. I left her after 5 years because of multiple infidelities, stealing, and being a liar. 3. Recent brittish Boyfriend just left her as of April because ….yes u guessed it:  multiple infidelities, stealing and lying,  4 Now she has two men supporting her and living with her when they are in country: a brittish pilot for Brittish Air and an American who is married….
    Now Siti Komo
    1…First husband divorced because his business was unsuccessful and she wanted more that he could not provide.  2. Divorced second husband just recently …well u guessed it to take the house and find someone new she could ;manipulate for her own benefit and reports are she too has become like her sister Siti. 

    So two peas in the pot

    Well Bules this is the majority of women u will meet in Indonesia.  Not all but most….Pursue at your own risk.  You Bules are warned. 

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Received this email yesterday after my postings…Copy of it is below.  Well that pretty much agrees with the info. I got from my private sources…..this sender is referring to Siti’ Sister….Komo…
      I don’t know about Rodiah, but I definitely know this Komo woman.She’s a wolf in a sheep’s clothing!Gentleness, soft spoken aside,She’s one manipulative, devious loaded woman, besides being amistress of one old Malaysian businessman, she’s string of other buleboyfriends! For what Komo did, I hope Karma will get her back.
      Unsigned by sender.

  • Apedanda Bayuwangi

    These women may be ugly and uneducated, but they are certainly not stupid. With the use of charm Pelet Segoro Bayu and Pelet asmoro geni kamahayu, they drive you wild and make you go down on your knees. Sooner, you will think of nothing but only her. You leave your family, your money to these girls. And how it started? You see them at bars. They wave at you. They puff their ciggies at you and hypnotise you with their charm. You’re taken in by their sob stories. You want to be with her all the time. Anytime you’re away from her, you will have wet dreams of her. All you can think of is only her.
    So bules out there, if you have a religion, seek and find solace in it than in the arms of the likes of Rodi or Komo. Get out before you become a dead man walking.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Very True Apedanda
      I keep preaching to these bulls to be cautious of these women but many just ignore the warnings…so they can only blame themselves.  these women are raised that way to support their families because most family members there are too lazy to get a respectable job.  All these women want from the bule is money money money and sex sex sex..They intentionally try to get pregnant to trap u as well and play u along as long as they can get away with it.  After that experience the smart bule then wises up and learns the truth of these women.  TAKE THE MONEY AWAY and away they go….most are Pelecur and that is how they are raised and the reason why u find them in the bars…

    • Paula

      I have heard about these charms before, my husband has left me recently for a very ugly indonesian woman, who I now know set out to get him. When he first met her he found her very unattractive and quite odd, but is now with her. We have been happily married for 30 years its such a shock, several asian people have mentioned to me that they think he has been “charmed”, could explain more please and can this be broken, he is like a different person

    • Paula

      I have heard about these charms before, my husband has left me recently for a very ugly indonesian woman, who I now know set out to get him. When he first met her he found her very unattractive and quite odd, but is now with her. We have been happily married for 30 years its such a shock, several asian people have mentioned to me that they think he has been “charmed”, could explain more please and can this be broken, he is like a different person

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    How to avoid Siti Rodiah and her sister Siti Komo
    1.  Both are desparate to marry.. Both are in their 30’s and with failed marriage due to their fault.  For an indonesian woman to be respected she must have Family Status. So they will press for marriage in a short period of time
    2.  Both will ask u for support for their families.  included in this and unknown to u will be mom, and the brothers iwan and Edy…They dont work and have no ambition to work.  So they depend on their sisters success as a Pelecur
    3. Once u get locked it to giving them money they will constantly be needling u for more and more…Beleive me they dont need it as they have plenty of boyfriends that are financing them and they will not tell you. 
    4.  They will not allow u to see their bank accounts for fear u will discover them
    5.  They will password protect their mobiles and keep all their contacts secret
    6.  They will always deny that they are seeing other men.. While they will be sleeping with you one can count on them sleeping with others…They all desire multiple sex partners
    7.  Dont take them on trips or have them join u.  Once u do they once again will be always asking to go on trips by themselves.. These trips are simply sex trips to find other men to line up for future boyfriends and to find other sex partners
    8.  Dont ;buy them anthing. As a bule u do not have title to anything such as a home, car anything u buy for them.
    9.  If u meet them, they will go to bed with you the first nite or soon after.  Believe me they use sex as a way to rope you in to their world of sex and support.
    10.  Dont ignorer these rules….Their only objective is to find some one to support them.  Once they find a sucker they will latch on to you and tell u they love u. 
    11….Remember to the average Indonesian woman love does not mean the same to them as it does in the west…To them the word love and sex is only a means to find someone to security for themselves and family…
    12…Family is family to the indonesian…as a bule u mean nothing to these corrupt people…They will always side with the girls in the family and protect them no matter if the girl is wrong and especially unfaithful
    13.. The majority of these girls are unfaithfult and dont care about your feelings nor do their families
    14..Most of these girls are raised this way to secure wealth and riches for themselves and families…

    These are the rules when in indonesia.  Use them for your own gratification But DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH THEM./   A nice indonesian woman can be found but very very very difficult to locate….

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Follow up to avoiding Siti Rodiah and sister Siti Komodo
    Forgot to add.
    These women do not work. They like their trade and prefer to earn their money on their backs
    A good Indonesian woman will be a university graduate and well educated
    Or most likely married and not divorced or separated from their spouses
    The good ones will have good jobs and respect life’s values as christians or muslims.
    They won’t have sex with u nor ask u for money as they are self reliant and make their own way in the world

    If they don’t match the above criteria then u have met Siti Rodiah or her sister Siti Komo or someone just like them. STAY AWAY or U will Be drained financially and emotionally when they are done with u.

    • natannia

       i’m sorry about your past thomas, really. that was so mean for a woman
      ever done that to a man who were truly love her and hoped a happiness
      from her. but as people said..shit happend all
      the time just be aware with the beauty, the more colourful the snakes
      the more poison they are. reading your post made me can’t sleep think
      about it. u wrote ” A good Indonesian woman will be a university graduate and well educated Or most likely married and not divorced or separated from their spouses.The good ones will have good jobs and respect life’s values as christians or muslims.
      They won’t have sex with u nor ask u for money as they are self reliant and make their own way in the world “.  i was thinking and more assured that it will not enough to just be good in bed. inspired by your words how i need to try in every waking moment to be someone that making my man proud of me. and for the girls out there…come on ladies, your man is not your ATM machine.  but for siti rodiah and siti komodo….how did she make it ? how did she do ? what was the super power that she had …my god.

    • karenjazz

      Hi Thomas, I doubt you read this. But I am terribly sorry for you. Shit happens. Hope you have been moving on with your life. Everything will get better every time. 🙂

  • The soprano

    ThomasjktIndonesia, gracias for the tip-off, I now know who to lookout for in tigapuluh and bats.
    If I see Rody or Komodo, I”ll just give them what they asking for – the best lay and f off thereafter back to my beautiful Italian Belle 😉
    IMO, you should do a 2012 calendar wallet size prints with these 2 komodos pics as giveaways at the bars :p

    • “IMO, you should do a 2012 calendar wallet size prints with these 2 komodos pics as giveaways at the bars :p” <—– lmao

      • The Soprano

        Ms Hafidha darling..

        I don’t discriminate nor do I generalise.
        It’s just lesson learnt for us men to stay clear of the Siti Komodos.
        I’ve met some Indo girls who are beautiful inside-out, and I’m sure you’re one of the few 😉
        Ciao Bella!

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Ok soprano good suggestion… i will do a calendar with the pictures of the two Pelecur.  Good advice…You are right just F them and leave them for what these girls are in the bars…The good ones are the ones you want for life. they are the responsible ones.  I have told u all out there what the good ones are like.  Use the criteria below to search them out.  Other than that if they are in the bar they are there most likely for a reason…..looking for money and sex.  Some of them are good ones so use the criteria below to find which one are the good ones and which ones are the bad ones.

  • Bening hati

    Dear all..
    Women like Rody and komodo are not only in Indonesia I think. But it can’t be denied..some Indonesian women are like them. I remembered when i was a university student. My friend proudly told the class about her Bule boyfriend. He took her to here, there which cost a lot of money. She wanted to point out..Bule is generous. From what I heard..she met her bule in the night club. Nothing wrong if the Bule generous..as long as he knows..he really wants to do that. Personally, I hope no more Rody and Komodo anymore. For bules…be careful always..!!

  • Ehh….

    Now this is what I call a strange blog. Amazing pictures though.

  • Ubud grump

    In general the Indonesians can be considered unreliable and not trustworthy.
    But when you take that in mind one can have a good time there..
    As a residence only Bali is suitable although Muslim conservatism will destroy that environment at the end too..beware

    • Carolbriceno2007

      you are just being ridiculous and ignorance and super duper stupid!!!!

  • Hm, your Indonesian man/friend was not represent of all Indonesian men thoughts…:), he just dreamed having an actress-wife…(so sad)
    Beauty is not only by outside appereance…:)

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    The Whores of Indonesia like Siti Rodiah and sister Komo Will always be there. Indonesian society is, for a muslim culture, most corrupt and hypocritical. Most rely on the western bull to support them because they are extremely lazy and will not work. The lady i met there is just the opposite. she works and is self reliant. Has strong family values handed down to her. Not typical of the Siri Rodiah and sister Komo. The brothers and sisters are completely reliant on the western man. Lazy lazy lazy.

  • Cuddle_m369

    Everybody have their own opinion about attractive peoples,  man or woman.   My fiance is origin german,  real ‘bule’ with brown hairs and eyes…….I am Javanese Indonesia woman with fair-skinned (even too fair for Indonesian),  not bad teeth,  nice forehead too,  even I’m categorized attractive woman for Indonesian man.   I have a good job in a big french company.  But we fall in love at first sight,  and we love to hands on hands wherever we go,  relationship is about matched not just about outlook,  and as a ‘bule’ I dont think my fiance have a strange taste about Indonesian woman ‘as should be (?)’. 

  • Don’t be too negative on your profile. Face the fact that everyone is subject
    to faults and failures. Don’t over emphasize your problems or don’t complain
    about these things as woman may get repelled. People generally visit these
    sites for fun and enjoyment so don’t make these sites stressful.
    dating sites

  • Ubud grump

    The Bule behavior is a problem in all development countries with western expats. Additional to the professionals you’ve the (merely) western losers like this Thomasjkt who are dealing with local women who take advantage of them. Confronted with an empty wallet they call them whore’s. And every time they repeat this ritual..i found another angel but she was a whore also..and..what’s the matter with this country..
    These fools don’t deserve better..so just let them support the local economy..
    Living in Indonesia as a foreigner and looking for a good Asian woman?
    Try a female expat..Japanese…Singaporean or Hong Kong Chinese..relationships based on mental
    and economic equality instead of inequality. 

    • Lunna1979

      I kinda agree with you, I am a good woman and have my own business. I am a hard-working woman and support my family. I am smart, exotic and some ppl say I’m hot, not only said by bule but also by the local men. But you know what never once I am interested in Expats bule or Tourists. 
      I met my Bule husband in a social net working site and we started to get to know each other better and we live happily till now. There are good women in Indonesia but your eyes are covered by the beauty of whores and night life in bars and clubs, some expats are rally moron. Thats why they never learn from their mistake and keep looking from those whores in bars!!! Good women (really best ones) they dont go to clubs, they enjoy home and simple things in life and they always appreciate what they have

  • Stephysat

    I understand , call me narrow minded , but when has dark skin , buck teeth and a high forehead ever been widely known as beautiful? But you are right to each his own!

  • chocolate

    what i can say.. one thing only, never buy love, true love its something that bring life to happiness and real sense of life, just love some one becoz of his or her heart :), forget all the past , open heart for new life, life is great and beautiful

  • Sin247365

    It is good! So good to not be alone. I am a Christian dating a Javanese Christian woman, and wow culture shock! I am very impressed at the way her friends and family stepped up to “investigate” me;) to make sure I am ok to speak to her. It was amazing the level of respect they gave me as they know me better.

    I do not know this term bule, I seem to understand what it meAns but could someone explain it more to me?

    I sure learned something the hard way yesterday! We began speaking of the future and possibly marriage, she understands I am American and my children are in america an would come here after marriage, BUT I did not realize to even ask her to visit to meet my children after invisit her before marriage is BAD!

    Her friend explained to me, “to ask a Javanese woman to visit a man’s country before married, is to make her cheap, like a slut”

    So after many apologies I hope to be making ammends, but I am very glad to read all these posts, even the ignorant biasist ones.

    To you who have respect and integrity, thank you for posting about good things and sharing experience and wisdom.

    To those of you who post Raceisim and ignorance or purely sexual comments, please learn. No one wants you to suffer and stay ignorant.

    Javajive thank you for opening this topic!!!!

  • oh.gosh. thanks for bringing that topic. Unfortunately, the image of Indo girls dating/ marrying Bule (white people) are very downgrading. The reason is because most girls attracted to Bule are look alike a maid. However, I personally think this is just a cultural perception/ preference. What majority thinks of what is acceptable is those that will fit in a society. After all, how does a maid look like? How can you define the standard look of a maid? and beauty is relative right?

    I personally think the reason bule attracted to the true local girls is that the girls have a very exotic olive tan skin. Bule love olive dark tan skin because the skin is glowing under sun. and.. If you go to the states, people there are obsessed to get tan. 

    Ironically, public in Indonesia think that pretty girls must have bright skin, thin lips, and smooth hair…

  • Mandee

    Hi Anti NEZ, NOT all the Indonesian  women who get  a job and living abroad   because of those  two reasons you mentioned above. I had been working  hard  to  get  where I am  now. I worked  full time and went to university as  a full  time  student. I believe  that  all non- US citizens, either men or women, have to work  very  hard to get a job because they have to compete with  the locals. So, please think carefully  before  you speak.

  • Thomasmjktindonesia

    Well the infamous and unfaithful Siti Rodaih, also spelled Rodiyah in her passport) has  been out of my life for quite some time after i threw her out for unfaithfulness for multi men affairs and getting pregnant to two men while whe were together.   In that time, i have managed to save 40,000 USD per year and when i look at her picture and look at my bank account, I must say i like the bank account much better. Yeah that woman from Pamulang and BSD, her two lazy brothers, and mother dont have me anymore to steal from.  Some other poor western dude, like Martyn Grange of England was her next Victim after i tossed her out.  He learned to0 after she took 17,000 USD from him.   Well u dumbass bule if u want this for your life go for it.    But i sure like my 40,000 a year i am savin without her and her lazy extended family. 





      • Thomasmjktindonesia

        your husband is a big boy…He knew what he was doing when he wrecked my home

  • neza khairat

    my opinion as indonesian women are i’m proud to have indonesian look 😀 although sometimes i wanna had pointy nose too. LOL. but just for your information.. indonesian girls at sumatera island had fair skin, especially in Palembang, the girls almost look like chinese descent eventhough they are pure indonesia :). but every girl are pretty in their own way. fighting!! ^^/

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    Siti Rodiah

    Now chasing muslim. Raihandika love -u your page! U only chase white bulls. Well koran allows Muslim many wives and his daily hooker for so many minutes a day. Well good so now u will experience what u did to me. How many men laid u. 200, 300 or more.

    • Nadialove_s

      Hi Thomas,

      The showed must go on, ur live precious…don’t waste ur time for put angry in ur heart
      believe me, there will be a time for people to repay their act.

  • Anonymous

    Hii there,

    i need some information
    i will be married with my 8 years Bf (our relationship taking soo long)
    and he’s canadian, some people told me it tooks 4 months to get papers before the wedding
    is it true

    need ur advice guys 

  • Stevania_thena

    indonesian women many man white man married now and kids mixture ( indonesian eruasian ) very beautiful

  • dew

    I love Indonesian girls im english 31 years old and and love my javanese girlfriend, she’s the best ever xx

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      lets see u met her in the bar or on the internrt screwed her the first nite u both met. in two weeks she tells u she is in love with u now u r supporting her and the whole damn family of whores she is pressing for marriage when u r gone she is out with other men doing the same. yes she is just another damn muslim indo whore another siti rodiah (rodiyah) known as diah manizz on face book and other sites or her sister komo. yes u damn fool u will learn that u got sucked in by a typical muslim indo whore who is just looking for her white bule. u naive!

  • Ecofinanceinstitutes

    if you are in need of loan contact us on ecofinanceinstitutes@gmail.com

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      Don’t need Muslim whore money or blood money

  • Find a good women in a good place… it happens everywhere
    Im an Indonesian women and im proud of to be an Indonesian …
    Cos i know and really understand what to be real Indonesian
    Who am i and how i have to behave
    Being Indonesian women “a real one” is a great thing for me
    I have learning many good things

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      indonesian women are trashy women…lazy, unreliable, most are unfaithful and only marry for security for their extended family.,  When u have a conflct they will always support their family opinions and, u the spouse, are left out on the outside…I lived the experience,,…they are nothing but trash.. 

  • Clara 84

    women are the most beautiful girl in indonesia is a Sundanese girl in the
    know with bandung, because cold air makes them have skin that is clean.
    but don’t get me wrong lady Java is the most beautiful woman in
    indonesia. and a lot of people who want to marry white women Java

    • Stevania_thena

      i think women bandung most beautiful and now they are married to a korean who works in bekasi ( west java)

      • Thomasjktindonesia

        Maybe beautiful but underneath the beauty nothing but trash. 

  • veronik

    Indonesian women the most beautiful in asia.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      No dispute on their beauty but they have a severe case of a lost moral compass.  They have no life values other than to steal, fornicate and lie…So beyond your beauty Veronik you all suck as human beings….How sad to because if one travels all over the South Pacific these principles of life are universal.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      It would be better that the trashy indo muslim woman like Site Rodiah and her sister Komo just leave the good natured wesern Bule alone and stick to your native born lazy indo men.  

  • I’d appreciate if the racist comments and over-the-top generalizations could be kept to a minimum. It’s getting beyond acceptable.

    It’s disappointing that my blog has become a dumping ground for such activity.

    For those of you who’ve experienced a bad relationship and heartbreak – that’s truly unfortunate and I hope you find happiness. However, these are faults of the individual, not of a race, culture or religion. Don’t use these as a target for your anger – infidelity is pervasive in every country and religion on this earth; don’t fool yourselves otherwise.

    I actually am an example of an Indonesian and American marriage which has worked very well for nearly 9 years. Someday perhaps I’ll tell my own story to help balance the plethora of negativity present on this post. 

  • Aceyy:)

    Hi Thomas, you obviously married an indonesian prostitute.. Trust me not all indonesian women have that same kind attitude.. 🙂 Do not put all the blame to indonesia ladies just bec you picked a wrong woman to marry with.. A good lady, no matter what the race is, either she is an indonesian or a “bule”, if they say “i want you” on their first meeting must be not a good person.. Only tramps who can say that.

    Guys, that is one bad experience Mr. Thomas had..
    So, try to learn which girl is a good girl and which one is a whore.
    Learn our culture first!
    For example : a good indonesian woman does not wander alone at night (usually have curfew time, and doesn’t go to bar, we dont drink beer sorry man), they are friendly, but will never initiate a conversation if you don’t make a move, and first time when you talk to them, they usually keep their distance and talks politely. Actually, when a foreigner suddenly talk to them, they will usually think that you are lost or need any help (hehehhe, peace..)

    That girl who said “I want you” in ur story.. omg, what a shameful attitude!!  Also, since most of indonesian people still think that sex before marriage is forbidden, If you meet a girl who allows (or maybe invite?) you to step “over the boundaries”, then she must be not a good girl, she’s probably a tramp. >_> (eww)

    Do not directly jump to a relationship just because you found them so attractive and “exotic”. That is so reckless, control your feeling, because if you marry a wrong girl you will be COMPLETELY FINISHED and you will be called as an “idiot” for your wrong decision by other smart and wise indonesian people.

  • Bapakgila

    Truly, Frida’s
    comments are most likely wise beyond her age and considering she is writing in
    a second language, even more impressive. 
    Having live and worked in Indonesia over 10 years and even married an
    Indonesian women I can tell you first hand that love is blind no matter what
    religion or ethnic group you belong to. 
    It is clear that a couple of individuals in the forum were quite hurt by
    Indonesia women but I am not sure why they are blaming Indonesian women for all
    their hurt.  Truly, what person on this
    earth wouldn’t want a little stability in their lives so you can’t blame any
    women for just trying to escape certain aspects of their environment which we
    all know too well is not exactly suited for women who want to be independent.  In short, while everyone in this forum has
    been hurt in some manner, Indonesia and the women and men that live there are incredible
    people with an amazing culture that dates back a lot further back than most western
    cultures. Terima Kasih

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      exactly the point Bapakgila.   They use the western man to escape their environments.  They(indo women) will do anything to capture a western man including deceit, getting pregnant, steal, lie and even cheat to secure economic advantage for themselves and families.    

  • Rosshilton

    Dear God, what an endless thread about one mans personal vendetta against his wife.

    Tom Martin is the classic example of why some guys shouldn’t be allowed overseas, especially to Asia. To be honest I doubt some of his claims about ex military, and working all over the world. I fit that bill, and work alongside a lot of other guys from the same mould. Non of them are as daft as he is, and none would bleat endlessly about being done over by a girl.

    For Gods sake Tom get a hold of your dignity. Either the woman was a user, and you were stupid enought to fall for it, or it just didn’t work out. Either way we really don’t want to hear about it.

    • Optimusprime1optimus

      what an ass u are.  This is a blog and blogs are for blogging.  If u dont like it dont read it jerk.  From what I read this person has performed a valuable service letting the rest of us know what indonesian women are like.  Personally no different than other asian women in Thailand, Phillapines, Malaysia what have u.  Show money spread legs. 

      the guy who broke up his home…..from england…cant remember his  name,….or yeah Martyn Grange is a real loser also. 

      Thomasjkt  — ignore this ass…. thanks for the postings

  • Isa Zahidi

    hmm very interesting topic. everyone has its own opinion…but one thing is true is that TRUE INDONESIAN WOMEN HAS STRONG LIVE PRINCIPLES BASED ON THEIR ORIGINAL CULTURE. and the guy who had those negative statement, are probably had tooo much bad women with them in their live

  • What a long list of replies, can’t believe that the topic was posted 6 years ago!!

    Being an Indonesian man all I can say, especially to you non-Indonesian guys who ever had bad experience with Indonesian women (in terms of financial matter), is that you have met the bad part of the population. Any foreign guys who ever lived in our country will likely encounter members of this bad part of the population, than those true Indonesian women. Why? Because they “expose” themselves to you, be it on the net, in a bar or nite club, in workplace, anywhere. Most of them are just chasing after your money, basically they are sluts, nothing more nothing less.

    We Indonesian men (smart ones), won’t even bother to waste our times with these kind of women, because we are already aware of the true Indonesian women. Those who give you passion from their purest heart, those who will look after you in a way you never had from women raised in western culture. We need money of course (who doesn’t?), but true Indonesian women know the lines. They won’t trade true love for money, nor for physical attraction, nor for prestige of having “bule” as their man.

    Btw, yes we Indonesians (men and women) tend to get attracted by your fair skin and sharp nose, your physical appearance. But hey that’s in human nature, isn’t it? Something that physically looks different than what’s in ourselves tend to attract us more right. The same way as you guys tend to get attracted more by dark and exotic Indonesian women’s skin. The same way as we get attracted more to other customs, traditions and cultures. The same way as men love women’s breast, or women interest men’s penis (ok, this one is a bit extreme, but you get the point). We like something different to explore.

    But physical attraction is just a start, as you’re involved deeper you will know more and will eventually come to decide whether is it worth to keep the relationship or not. True Indonesian women, true people, who have pure and kind intention in their mind will know what to decide, in it won’t be based on whether you’re “bule” or local.

    So sorry for all the bad experiences, but please do not generalize people based on their nationalities, races, religious views, and things the like. Such way of thinking is so so yesterday now when we can basically see the world through the same windows. Thanks to The Internet.

  • Optimusprime1optimus

    Hey Thomas of JKT
    hey i identified your ex-wife Siti Rodiah of Pamulang from your previous posted pictures.  She is living with someone else now.  She lives near me and when i saw her i said to myself, I have seen her before.  Well strange as it was saw her pic on this site… yeah it is her…

    Well sorry to tell u that but i feel bad for your son.   Your story is a night mare for someone to endure…I hope u have recovered from that mess. 

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    thanks for the post…yeah i know she is living with someone now…That is her mantra.  She has always been a professional courtesan….a woman u will live with men for living expenses…

    As far as i know she is most likely pregnant to him also so she can fool him into marrying him..Yeah I know where she is but dont really care…Still hurts but what the hell…

    Women like her all over Indonesia.  I met some others since our breakup but all is the same as it was with siti.  As soon as I spot it I run like hell   But fortunate for me I am happy alone and happy for it.. Yeah I feel for the son but as a bule i have no right in indonesia. 

    As far Martyn Grange, yea..well i agree.  Funny as it is he and his wife are still together…

    As for the PhilRossman I agree if he does not like it dont read it..   Thanks for your comments

  • Thomasjktindonesia

    forgot to add if u see her tell the courtesan to go to hell…she will rot there when she dies…

  • Qbee

    One guy’s garbage is other guy’s diamond.

    • Thomasjktindonesia

      that is debatable Qbee..Why are u still alone or living with someone

      • Dewi

        how about you yourself Thomas, instead looking for love you just like to sit around and bitch about the same woman who screwed up your life and generalize all women in Indo are the same as your ex-wife? You are soooo pathetic, move on dumbass!!

  • jumping miaow

    lalalalaaaa… i love my surfer boy.. he’s not rich..
    but i love him.. i’m an indo girl,pretty (what my mom said,thooough..lol), got scholarship in europe.. but i don’t cheat and being gold digger..
    don’t go to the bars to meet girl.. find in ur surfer community..!!
    (‘0′) (/’0’)/

  • Luc Audet

    i have relationship with indonesian woman from jakarta since almost 1 year now. and for me   shes beautifull woman smiling easyly and very simple person shes so beautifull and goodheart
    but beauty is from soul first  and radiate from the personality after
     only a smile is beautifull

    i  am from Quebec canada i was in indonesia last winter and i want to return in indonesia to be with this woman and work there
    i am engineering technician i just want to have my chance to work and live there bcz i think my experience can profite to indonesia peoples  about  engineering  project and environement they have to change their mentality in indonesia really fast about environement and protect the planet   

    • Dewi

      congrats for Luc Audent, not all Indonesian women or muslim ones are as bad as other people say here. My best friend have been married to an American for more than 20 years and they live happily with three kids. Some people have had bad love stories in the past with Indonesian women and they can’t just let it go, it’s really pathetic indeed, but hey it’s life, some idiots like Thomas here chose to continue the drama of his past, instead of letting go and moving forward, and seeking new love. Reading his nasty comments here, makes me feel sorry for him. But i do feel happy for you.

    • Thomas

      A true dreamer from the west

  • Chris

    Indonesia throughout history always become the melting pot of world’s cultures introduced to them. But not every culture is being accepted by the majority. This is not always about other cultures vs moslem. In the ancient time, it was Moslem vs Shiva-Hindu culture. So it’s a dynamic place in terms of cultures transformation. but there is a pattern in its lifetime, that religious values are consistently being accepted.
    Secular culture surely has its influence, since the arrival of the Europeans, but it’s not 100% being adopted (Read Denys Lombard book), after all it was the 1st globalization. With globalization now, sure it’s influence the way Indonesian date or say love, or how to complicate the game. But still, some values are just cannot be accepted by the majority religious society eg. living together.
    Although, people also have to be aware, that people everywhere are the same when comes to practicing religions where a lot of them are also being secretive about their ‘love sin’, sexuality, etc.

    Indeed you can’t generalize Indonesian women but I believe you still can find whoever fits you within its layers of societies.
    Here are the oversimplified categories:
    – 30%: Women with strict religion practice (Moslem, Christian, etc) you still can find a lot of them from the churches and mosques. The very strict ones are mostly as spiritual as their counterparts all over the world. I mean, they share the same faith and really do it wholeheartedly. No difference with any faithful ones in America or in Arabian Peninsula.
    – 69%: Women practicing religion but they live and embrace secular lifestyle and more open for others, it’s like lukewarm religious people and you know that any luke-warmers can switch to strict ones, usually when they have their atonement moment. You will not expect them to be strict in terms of sexuality but they are mostly educated and can choose which one is appropriate or not (eg. they may go to bar just for socializing with friends, they may wanna go to discotheque/dugem and got drunk but they are aware that ‘it is not good in the view of their indonesian prospectus husband’ so their limit themselves or just completely stop doing it when they get older). Remember that although foreigners are usually considered as admirable, most Indonesian women still prefer Indonesian men because wider society still accept such commonness and society put a distance with foreigners for whatever reasons, sometimes as simple as jealousy or local superiority. Remember, that Indonesian are society oriented so most women will consider what society says, meaning she just don’t want to risk/trouble herself.  
    Anyways, most of this type likes to just socialize/hang out at resto/cafes, I think this would be the majority type of women in big cities like Jakarta, Surabaya. Makan-makan or having a big lunch/dinner/coffee with friends are just the typical and most common way to blend with Indonesian women (and men).
    – less than 1%: Women who are atheist and secular, somehow I think this type of women are very rare.
    – less than 0.05%: other type of women who are also the same in many part of the world, you know who they are.

    As you can see, religion still play a big part in defining society values, although being practiced differently. That means that Indonesian women mostly still hold religion values, which are in general (for many religions): family oriented, obey the leader of the house (the husband) which applied in Moslem and Christianity. Of course kindness, caring are just part of religious values being taught as well. If someone says here that he rarely find it in their countries, you may ask yourself whether your society still embrace religion values.

    All in all, I think there is no definite ‘Indonesian women’ characteristic, but we know that Indonesian women are largely still being influenced by religion values. And so it is actually a reflection of religious values itself.


  • Kartika

    heemm.. beauty is in the eye of the beholder..these unattractive look lady maybe they’re kind sweet and more caring. I myself now wanting a bule husband… but im sure i have my own attractive side. 
    And not all indonesian women wanting white men for their wealth. Asian sees white men more caring, nice attitude and responsible to women and a little more with romance i guess.. just like on my thought   🙂 

  • thomas

    Oh lunna, lunna, lunna
    In response to the peace of your islam comment….
    Yes we christians in the west see the peace of islam in the middle east and your country of Indonesia…Hmm funny how u live, a muslim, in the USA and enjoy the peace of christianity.. There is no physcial threats against you or violence…Oh yes some unkind comments in the media…..You wont see christians when islam attacks and kills westerners and christians, as they have recently…73 christians in Egypt, 4 christians(USA citizens) in Libya) killing muslims. or attaching their embasy.. U see in the USA we have free speech..the right of free speech allows anyone to say anything without reprisal. Islam does not like that..Your own country does not tolerate that.. .Better u be christian to experience real peace…

  • thomas

    Yes Bonnie
    I learned my lesson well. Also u need to include those ladies on the internet dating sites…Cos my ex now finds men that way preys on them…so in the west that is known as a Courtesan..(High Class Prostitute that hangs with wealthy men)

  • javada

    Hello Brandon, I am Indonesian woman married to an American… Until today I do hear about that conversation, but I keep it cool… My life and my husband is not on their hands, those who said that to the mix couples are those who let themselves being drowned by their own narrow minded thoughts… We respect people because of their personalities and the most, how they threat other people with respect sincerely… I am sure, in the world like this, we must listen more to they who love us unconditionally…

  • faid6631272

    l deaf male work not wait idea hope friend beg friend travelle not hope travelle tour check org beg love pece fight not sudan weapon yes still power yes
    god pray friend love think hope heart love polite sound stop why should ask engilsh high know yes arabic not lie not problem letter bank tax beg should power high compute yes letter from=fayed osman deaf sudanses french bank branch al gadairf or gedaref sudan true will right only work meet hope united nation group yes

  • Innocent raheel

    Indonesian women has bad record in Hong Kong. Being a Muslim they are not allowed to do sex but they have four or five boy friends . Are all Indonesians are like them. Mover they blame their parents and husband who sent them for a domestic helper jobs. I just want to know whether these women represent the entire culture of sweet Indonesia ?

  • Innocent raheel

    Actually I like Indonesia, nice tropical country with great resources, but this is very much disgracing why politicians are so cruel, why don’t they take benefit from these resources and could develop the life standard of their masses, one thing more parents should give good moral teaching to their offsprings specially to their daughters. Government should provide them a good salary job, I am sure Indonesia has that capability. These domestic helper had dropped all degrees if attitude. Sex , disgracing the norms and culture of country.

  • auza

    i agree that many indonesian woman who married western guy are ugly that because the beuatiful one either taken or not as desperate as the ugly ones. all south asian lady have the same type of face…anyway, because Indonesia is predominatly muslim and muslim parents can’t tolerate having an infidel son in law so,,having ‘bule’ partner is not so popular in Indonesia except maybe in few big cities like jakarta, surabaya, bandung, medan and manado. and this situation is bit different in other SEA acountries like vietnam, philiphine, thailand where the beuatiful teens are eager to marry a western man to immigrate and to improve their life..marrying a white man is like a life objective from them since teen…

  • thomas

    if a muslim woman ask you to change your religion to marry her, then that is not love…it is pure religious chrisrian hatred. The muslim family can not tolerate the christian infidel. The shame of it is they dont even know that much of the koran is taken from the old jewish scrolls. funny is it not that they hate the jews so much.

  • Thomasjktindonesia@yahoo.com

    Oh Dewi. What can I say. Another indo bar whore making her mark on disqus

    • Black Dahlia

      Thomas, I have the current contacts for Rody and Komo. U interested?

      • Thomas

        Who are you?

      • thomasmartin1

        Who is this

      • thomasmartin1

        Who is this?

  • Amy

    i read some comment they are almost not education,to blame each other?
    why need to do that?what you got nothing all stupid.if western people/guy you better not come to my country doing thing in you own country.

  • Amy

    Up to you, how you think about Indonesia lady

  • Sebastian

    Stupid remark

  • Alberta H

    WOW, terimakasih sekali saya sudah menemukan blog ini. Saya sedang melakukan survey tentang kawin campur yang terjadi di Indonesia dan forum ini sangat bagus menjadi sumber referensi. Semoga kedepannya wanita Indonesia lebih cerdas dan tidak HANYA mengandalkan pria untuk bertahan hidup, karena Tuhan menciptakan pria dan wanita itu sejajar dan saling melengkapi.

  • Sebastian

    another stupid remark

  • Sebastian

    Hey Martyn Grange
    You sure have a beautiful wife. A true shame u don’t appreciate her.

  • Shellina

    Only one person here that always posts and comments about the same craps, about the same woman that hurt him the most, sooooo pathetic, bitching like a sore loser about the same freaking thing and generalize all women in Indonesia are the same…Thomas, one wise advice for you, move on and let it go!!! have a little faith in your heart, and stop complaining about the past, she (who hurt you) doesn’t even think about you anymore, so why should you!!!…geezz, get a life!!! You just met the wrong person in your life, it doesn’t mean that you won’t meet the true one in the future!! MOVE ON!!!

  • panembahan senopati

    i just looking europen women

  • thomasmartin1

    Who are u black dahlia

  • Greg Williams

    I have been in bondage ever since my ex leaves ME for another man,It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about her but i could not because i love her so much. Things get worse until my friend introduced me to this great spell Therapist ONIHA and i contacted him through his email winexbackspell@gmail.com i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after four days, everything turn around and my love come to me on her knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only man in her life now. I was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name Therapist Oniha of the winexbackspell@gmail.com is the greatest.

  • Queen_of_Eternity

    Why is there no mention of love here just judgement and assumption that these choices are motivated only by money or sex, or that people can be objectively viewed for the colour of their skin or their race. Posters are right who say that Australia is a more inclusive country. We see people not objects and we accept multi-culturalism. I went to schools where many many cultures were represented and no one was bullied for their race. I have friends from many countries and have never seen a person as a race. I’ve been hurt since living here for a while by the judgemental looks that I receive sometimes just walking down the street as a white woman on my own, conservatively dressed so as not to offend. Or sometimes degrading catcalls or harassment from men. Sometimes I smile at people and they give me an evil look. I hold none of this against Indonesia but I ask you to consider that a person is not a gender or race, a person is a soul with feelings.