Post about Indonesian women and expat men has reached 221 comments

This post from nearly 5 years ago has certainly received a lot of feedback – currently at 221 comments. And there were many more comments not approved or moderated for various reasons (and I’m very lenient). It appears the nature of relationships between Asian women and foreigners is a hot topic. Unfortunately, the discussion also seems to breed hate, blatant racism, extreme generalizations, and the other crap that comes with the telling of peoples’ personal history.

Each of these delicately composed comments comes streaming (and sometimes shouting) into my inbox, at times more frequently than bathroom breaks. I’m so often tempted to respond, to speak my own mind, and share my experiences having been with an amazing, loving, and caring Indonesian woman for so many years – experiences so very opposite from the majority of those sharp words expressed in the comments. But then again, whose mind am I going to change? If someone has had a horrible experience with love or has witnessed a partner using them only as a means to an end, who am I to say that they’re wrong to lash out?

Despite the fact that this blog is centered around photography, travel, culture, and my own life experiences as an expatriate living in Asia, I’ll continue to allow the comments to flow. I simply ask that before you contribute to the discussion, you ask yourself if you’d say the same thing if you were face-to-face with others, that you consider the flip side to your beliefs and statements, and that you strive to maintain some semblance of respect – especially in terms of religion. Don’t confuse the disparity of wealth and blatant naivety with a particular religion.

Having said that, perhaps it’s time for me to share my own perspectives on this matter from many years of personal experience.

  • Whoa, just read through the comments and so much animosity and anger there. Amazing that such a small simple post could get that much attention. Have a slideshow of photos from the Philippines that I posted on youtube and the first comment posted was some guy saying “and whores everywhere”, as though that was a defining factor. Sad!!!

    Thing that most people don’t realize is that you can find good people and not so good people anywhere. Have come across my own share of gold diggers, right here in the USA. Has nothing to do with race, culture, creed or country.

    In my year in the Philippines I dated socially, several nice Filipinas, none were lovers or girlfriends, but all were wonderful ladies who made my life a little more interesting just through social interaction. Some were kind of plain and some very beautiful, most quite a bit younger then me, but my time there was made all the more special because of those friendly interactions. To this day I have friends I stay in touch with. Sad that so many people label an entire country or culture based upon their one bad relationship.

    In Indonesia, Philippines or anywhere, there are great people, and yes a few not so great. You just have to be open to finding the great ones.

    • Siti Meiyana Arafah

      Yes..Agree, not because some people did the bad things and the other good people will do the same.